Public transcript

You're on the Naughty List

By: Yuki: Space Assassin
Length: 2 min
Published: 25 December 2024
Language: English
Text from: the audio
Transcribed: 2 October 2026

Read the full transcript Open on Apple Podcasts

Notes in English.

Summary

Yuki, a space assassin, delivers a short comedic holiday greeting in which she reveals she has captured Santa Claus and found his naughty list. She jokes that the listener is on the naughty list and makes a suggestive remark, then closes with holiday wishes from Sadistic Dreamer Productions. The recording is under two minutes and is essentially a brief sketch rather than a substantive discussion.

Key points

Yuki, a space assassin, opens with a parody of a Christmas song and holiday greetings.
She has captured Santa Claus and holds him in her brig.
Santa was caught with coordinates to billions of households and a list of friendly and unfriendly targets.
The Federation wants Santa for burglary, slave labor, tax evasion, public indecency, and the mass genocide of the Martian population.
Yuki peeked at the naughty list and tells the listener they have been very naughty.
She closes with Happy Sentience Day and New Year wishes from Sadistic Dreamer Productions.

Questions it answers

00:00Yuki's holiday greeting

Who is speaking and what is the occasion?

Yuki, a self-described space assassin, opens with a holiday-themed parody of a Christmas song and wishes listeners a lovely holiday season.

Yuki introduces herself as a space assassin.
She begins with a playful parody of a Christmas song.

00:30Santa Claus captured

Who has Yuki captured and why is he wanted?

Yuki has captured Santa Claus, whom the Federation has sought for centuries. He is wanted for burglary, slave labor, tax evasion, public indecency, and the mass genocide of the Martian population.

Santa was caught with coordinates to billions of households.
He is wanted for burglary, slave labor, tax evasion, public indecency, and the mass genocide of the Martian population.

01:03The naughty list

What does Yuki say about the naughty list?

Yuki claims the list is safe with her, then admits she peeked at it. She tells the listener they have been very naughty and makes a suggestive joke about stuffing the stocking.

Yuki admits she looked at the naughty list.
She tells the listener they have been very naughty.

01:32Closing wishes

How does the recording end?

Yuki wishes listeners a Happy Sentience Day and a wonderful New Year on behalf of everyone at Sadistic Dreamer Productions, including Sadistic himself.

Yuki wishes listeners a Happy Sentience Day.
The greeting comes from Sadistic Dreamer Productions, including Sadistic himself.

Notes

Overview

This is a brief holiday sketch featuring Yuki, a space assassin, who has captured Santa Claus.

Santa Claus in the Brig

Yuki caught him flying around a planet with coordinates to billions of households and a prepared payload for each.
He carried a list of friendly and unfriendly targets in his pocket.
The Federation has been looking for him for centuries.
Charges include burglary, slave labor, tax evasion, and public indecency.
His record also lists the mass genocide of the Martian population.

The Naughty List

Yuki says the naughty list is safe with her and that she wouldn't peek.
She then admits she did look at it.
She tells the listener they have been very naughty and jokes that it is her turn to stuff the stocking tonight.

Closing

Yuki wishes listeners a Happy Sentience Day and a wonderful New Year.
The greeting is from everyone at Sadistic Dreamer Productions, including Sadistic himself.

Transcribed automatically from the audio. Summary and notes written by AI from the transcript, so check anything important against the recording.