# You're on the Naughty List

*Yuki: Space Assassin* · https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1525606790?i=1000681691255

## Summary

Yuki, a space assassin, delivers a short comedic holiday greeting in which she reveals she has captured Santa Claus and found his naughty list. She jokes that the listener is on the naughty list and makes a suggestive remark, then closes with holiday wishes from Sadistic Dreamer Productions. The recording is under two minutes and is essentially a brief sketch rather than a substantive discussion.

## Key points

- Yuki, a space assassin, opens with a parody of a Christmas song and holiday greetings.
- She has captured Santa Claus and holds him in her brig.
- Santa was caught with coordinates to billions of households and a list of friendly and unfriendly targets.
- The Federation wants Santa for burglary, slave labor, tax evasion, public indecency, and the mass genocide of the Martian population.
- Yuki peeked at the naughty list and tells the listener they have been very naughty.
- She closes with Happy Sentience Day and New Year wishes from Sadistic Dreamer Productions.

## Notes

### Overview
This is a brief holiday sketch featuring Yuki, a space assassin, who has captured Santa Claus.

### Santa Claus in the Brig
- Yuki caught him flying around a planet with coordinates to billions of households and a prepared payload for each.
- He carried a list of friendly and unfriendly targets in his pocket.
- The Federation has been looking for him for centuries.
- Charges include burglary, slave labor, tax evasion, and public indecency.
- His record also lists the mass genocide of the Martian population.

### The Naughty List
- Yuki says the naughty list is safe with her and that she wouldn't peek.
- She then admits she did look at it.
- She tells the listener they have been very naughty and jokes that it is her turn to stuff the stocking tonight.

### Closing
- Yuki wishes listeners a Happy Sentience Day and a wonderful New Year.
- The greeting is from everyone at Sadistic Dreamer Productions, including Sadistic himself.

## Transcript

[00:00] and hurry down the chimney tonight. Oh wait, wrong song. I see you when you're sleeping. I know when you're awake. *laughs* It's just me, Yuki. You know, the space assassin with all the ass. I hope you're all having a lovely holiday season this year. Should be a safe one. Now that I've got this big red son of a bitch in my brig, I caught him flying around this planet with coordinates to billions of households in a payload prepared for each. And a list of friendly and unfriendly targets stuffed in his pocket, too. Federation's been looking for him for centuries. They want him for burglary, slave labor, tax evasion, and... Ugh. public indecency. God damn it, Santa Claus, you dirty dog. Huh. Says here he's also wanted for the mass genocide of the Martian population.

[01:03] Hmm. who'd have thunk? anyway, don't worry his naughty list is nice and safe with me I wouldn't dream of having a peek. *sniff* Yeah, actually I did. And baby, you've been so very, very naughty. And you know what? It's my turn to stuff the stocking tonight.

[01:32] Happy Sentience Day, kiddies. And from everyone at Sadistic Dreamer Productions. including Sadistic himself. Have a wonderful day. New Year. you Thank you. Thank you.