WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:05.117 You never ever wanted to be healed. 00:00:05.200 --> 00:00:09.357 I want to feel healed. I just I just want to be, you know, >> [music] 00:00:09.440 --> 00:00:13.557 >> I want to stop uh I want to stop running. I can feel where 00:00:13.640 --> 00:00:17.237 I'm not taking [music] care of myself and I'm I'm eating food that makes me 00:00:17.320 --> 00:00:21.557 sick. It's a self-soothing like five, six times in a day. 00:00:21.640 --> 00:00:23.917 And then I have all this shame around it. 00:00:24.000 --> 00:00:25.957 >> What I want you to realize, Philip, none 00:00:26.040 --> 00:00:30.237 of those are the problem. They are the [music] solution. 00:00:30.320 --> 00:00:34.997 I just want to be happy. Your nature is freedom. But you're psychologically, 00:00:35.080 --> 00:00:39.637 emotionally telling yourself that you can't do something, then because of our 00:00:39.720 --> 00:00:43.917 nature of freedom, the inclination is towards that. That's the frustrating 00:00:44.000 --> 00:00:47.557 thing is that I'm I'm having this new awareness and I have moments where I 00:00:47.640 --> 00:00:49.877 feel bliss and beauty and I write these 00:00:49.960 --> 00:00:53.237 songs and everything makes sense. Most 00:00:53.320 --> 00:00:55.037 human beings in their identity are 00:00:55.120 --> 00:00:57.637 defined by something they're not. I'm 00:00:57.720 --> 00:01:01.997 not good enough. I'm not loved. 00:01:02.080 --> 00:01:04.877 I'm not valued. I feel the one of the 00:01:04.960 --> 00:01:11.320 most pivotal moments that has defined Philip's persona is 00:01:13.440 --> 00:01:15.797 Dude, I'm just I'm cracking up, man. 00:01:15.880 --> 00:01:19.157 When I when I got the email from Cambria, 00:01:19.240 --> 00:01:21.157 I brought my whole family and all the 00:01:21.240 --> 00:01:23.877 kids and I read the email and my 00:01:23.960 --> 00:01:28.317 11-year-old was like, "Dad, you're about to get crowned. 00:01:28.400 --> 00:01:32.317 For real." And that's what we say in our house and we'll watch highlights and 00:01:32.400 --> 00:01:35.077 I'll be like, "Babe, come watch this Danica Patrick. She's about to get 00:01:35.160 --> 00:01:38.717 crowned. Watch this." And my my daughter my 14-year-old be 00:01:38.800 --> 00:01:41.637 like, "She got crowned. Get crowned." 00:01:41.720 --> 00:01:45.197 It's like a thing in our house. 00:01:45.280 --> 00:01:49.317 I love it. It sounds like you have a lot of fun in that house. I'm really really 00:01:49.400 --> 00:01:53.797 I'm just touched and flattered that uh my work has meant that much to you. 00:01:53.880 --> 00:01:57.637 You obviously have such a a spirit. I know you're not without your challenges 00:01:57.720 --> 00:02:01.597 and we'll get to that today and I I appreciate the video you submitted which 00:02:01.680 --> 00:02:06.197 everybody does, you know, prior to coming on the on the show and I just 00:02:06.280 --> 00:02:10.037 feel very fortunate that you know 00:02:10.120 --> 00:02:13.037 such lovely beautiful bright souls like 00:02:13.120 --> 00:02:18.397 yourself have found my work and it's it's helped in whatever way it has and 00:02:18.480 --> 00:02:19.997 let's see if we can't do a little bit of 00:02:20.080 --> 00:02:23.717 fine-tuning, shall we? Yeah, dude. Yeah. 00:02:23.800 --> 00:02:25.957 Please, dude. And I I definitely love 00:02:26.040 --> 00:02:27.677 the fact that your kids are using the 00:02:27.760 --> 00:02:31.037 expression you got croned. 00:02:31.120 --> 00:02:33.477 Yeah. They're like get croned, Dad. Get 00:02:33.560 --> 00:02:36.837 croned. This is going to be a one off. 00:02:36.920 --> 00:02:40.077 Yeah. on YouTube and my son will be like 00:02:40.160 --> 00:02:43.677 get croned. Get croned. Get croned. 00:02:43.760 --> 00:02:47.917 We're now going to have to start a hashtag. #gotcroned. Yes, dude. It's 00:02:48.000 --> 00:02:51.797 like not got milk, but it's got [laughter] croned. Got croned. 00:02:51.880 --> 00:02:54.477 Yeah, dude. Amazing. I've gone on so 00:02:54.560 --> 00:02:59.237 many walks with you, bro, just listening to every podcast I can get my hands on. 00:02:59.320 --> 00:03:02.797 I think I first heard you on the know thyself. 00:03:02.880 --> 00:03:07.277 Oh, yeah. Okay. >> 90 seconds in, dude, I've been looking. 00:03:07.360 --> 00:03:11.677 I've been looking. >> [clears throat] >> I've been looking, man. 00:03:11.760 --> 00:03:12.837 And 00:03:12.920 --> 00:03:16.997 uh then I find you who's like yeah 00:03:17.080 --> 00:03:22.280 it's not outside of you and I'm LIKE UH GOSH. 00:03:22.840 --> 00:03:26.317 IT'S JUST BEEN AMAZING, DUDE, for 2 years now just going on walks and 00:03:26.400 --> 00:03:29.437 listening to your podcasts, your interviews 00:03:29.520 --> 00:03:34.357 and and I teach a home school group that I volunteered to teach and I work with 00:03:34.440 --> 00:03:38.237 the homeless and I just and I speak at schools and I've been trying to teach 00:03:38.320 --> 00:03:43.237 your teachings and I've been trying to convey what you convey 00:03:43.320 --> 00:03:48.117 and yeah, so this is just a gift. So, thank 00:03:48.200 --> 00:03:51.477 you. Well, thank you. You are clearly a very 00:03:51.560 --> 00:03:55.997 beautiful joyous spirit and I think this is going to be a wonderful conversation. 00:03:56.080 --> 00:04:00.197 Thank you for the kind words. Thank you for including me in your family, in your 00:04:00.280 --> 00:04:03.717 community, the work that you do with others. Obviously it shows the size of 00:04:03.800 --> 00:04:07.917 your heart. And um I know that you're a musician and one of 00:04:08.000 --> 00:04:11.277 the things that really touched me about the video you 00:04:11.360 --> 00:04:16.717 submitted is that you said your motto and see see if I can remember 00:04:16.800 --> 00:04:19.637 it cuz I know you're very kind in the way you remember my quotes, but it's 00:04:19.720 --> 00:04:23.317 like if nobody loves you, I do or something like that. Yeah, if no one 00:04:23.400 --> 00:04:25.277 else loves you, I do. That's my motto. 00:04:25.360 --> 00:04:29.437 >> Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's that's pretty damn evident from the start of 00:04:29.520 --> 00:04:31.437 this conversation. So 00:04:31.520 --> 00:04:33.997 um I've got a little inclination that 00:04:34.080 --> 00:04:37.437 maybe just maybe some of that love 00:04:37.520 --> 00:04:40.277 could be potentially redirected towards 00:04:40.360 --> 00:04:44.477 yourself, but let's see how we do. Does that make sense? Yeah, that does make 00:04:44.560 --> 00:04:48.157 sense. Yeah. >> Yeah. So tell me I I for the you know, 00:04:48.240 --> 00:04:52.157 beautiful millions of people out there in the world who hopefully your story 00:04:52.240 --> 00:04:56.317 will touch cuz this video and all of these episodes just seem to be getting 00:04:56.400 --> 00:05:00.317 exponentially more uh um 00:05:00.400 --> 00:05:04.797 momentum, which is really touching cuz I know it's changing people's lives and I 00:05:04.880 --> 00:05:08.557 just want to first of all acknowledge you for coming on here, wanting to have a 00:05:08.640 --> 00:05:12.517 conversation and share your story cuz as human beings I believe that one of the 00:05:12.600 --> 00:05:16.197 things uh that changes um 00:05:16.280 --> 00:05:21.077 our lives more than anything is learning and vicariously experiencing other 00:05:21.160 --> 00:05:23.797 people's stories, woes, and breakthroughs. 00:05:23.880 --> 00:05:26.717 So give for myself as a refresher bit, I 00:05:26.800 --> 00:05:31.957 just watched your video again and the viewing audience just a little bit of uh 00:05:32.040 --> 00:05:35.357 you know, background on Phillip and the things you struggle with cuz I know like 00:05:35.440 --> 00:05:37.917 all of us it hasn't been that easy. 00:05:38.000 --> 00:05:43.637 Yeah, thank you, man. Thank you. Um I've honestly had like a magical life, 00:05:43.720 --> 00:05:45.677 bro. Um 00:05:45.760 --> 00:05:50.997 I've had so many miracles in my life, so many good things happen. 00:05:51.080 --> 00:05:54.317 Um >> Yeah. And uh and which is kind of been the 00:05:54.400 --> 00:05:56.637 frustrating part of this healing journey 00:05:56.720 --> 00:06:01.357 is being aware that with Anyways. 00:06:01.440 --> 00:06:04.517 Yeah, so when I was really little, we were in a car accident. I was 19 months 00:06:04.600 --> 00:06:08.437 old. Well, with me and my couple of of my brothers and our mom passed in that 00:06:08.520 --> 00:06:12.917 car accident. Your brothers passed, too? Or no, they were okay? 00:06:13.000 --> 00:06:15.117 Just my mom. My baby brother was in the 00:06:15.200 --> 00:06:17.237 front seat. He was 6 months old. This 00:06:17.320 --> 00:06:20.157 was back in '91, so the the seating laws 00:06:20.240 --> 00:06:24.437 were different. And he had serious brain damage, so he was 00:06:24.520 --> 00:06:28.277 They thought he'd be a vegetable. I mean, he's a whole miracle story, but he 00:06:28.360 --> 00:06:31.037 was really badly damaged. We He stayed 00:06:31.120 --> 00:06:33.557 in the hospital when we went to Oklahoma 00:06:33.640 --> 00:06:36.477 to bury mom. Mhm. 00:06:36.560 --> 00:06:39.517 And uh I don't remember 00:06:39.600 --> 00:06:43.997 the car accident now, but my mom who adopted me told me that I 00:06:44.080 --> 00:06:48.757 would tell her what happened in the car and that um 00:06:48.840 --> 00:06:51.837 you know, that mom's head was down and that her 00:06:51.920 --> 00:06:55.077 eyes were like blinking a lot. And so I 00:06:55.160 --> 00:06:59.397 don't remember that, but for a time, I guess I remembered it cuz my mom who 00:06:59.480 --> 00:07:02.957 adopted me would say, "Yeah, you would you told me this happened." And 00:07:03.040 --> 00:07:06.717 I do remember going to court because we had to demonstrate that we could 00:07:06.800 --> 00:07:10.517 unbuckle ourselves cuz that was part of the court proceedings was why were the 00:07:10.600 --> 00:07:15.597 kids unbuckled? And you know, the other side trying to find fault with 00:07:15.680 --> 00:07:19.557 with our mom, I guess. So that was an experience and then my 00:07:19.640 --> 00:07:23.437 dad remarried. And the woman he had married he married 00:07:23.520 --> 00:07:26.437 adopted me and my brothers. Mhm. Um 00:07:26.520 --> 00:07:28.317 she's an amazing woman. 00:07:28.400 --> 00:07:31.797 Um but it was really difficult 00:07:31.880 --> 00:07:34.397 in that household cuz my my dad had five 00:07:34.480 --> 00:07:36.317 boys and then his wife passed and he 00:07:36.400 --> 00:07:38.997 remarries and he he adopted his new 00:07:39.080 --> 00:07:41.557 wife's daughter who became my sister. 00:07:41.640 --> 00:07:45.397 And she adopted me and my brothers. And then they had two more daughters 00:07:45.480 --> 00:07:47.317 together. So there was eight kids total. 00:07:47.400 --> 00:07:51.157 >> Wow. Okay. And I'm the fifth >> you and you and two You were the 00:07:51.240 --> 00:07:54.757 youngest? No, I was the fourth of the five boys. 00:07:54.840 --> 00:07:56.517 >> Oh, I got it. Got it. Okay. 00:07:56.600 --> 00:07:58.957 But [clears throat] but you're So when the car accident, there were two 00:07:59.040 --> 00:08:01.597 brothers and the other two were just at home or school or whatever. 00:08:01.680 --> 00:08:05.397 >> One was at school and one was with a babysitter, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So 00:08:05.480 --> 00:08:07.557 carry on. So big family. Yeah, big 00:08:07.640 --> 00:08:11.557 family and you know, um 00:08:11.640 --> 00:08:14.797 my mom and my dad did the best they could. I mean, I look back and they're 00:08:14.880 --> 00:08:17.877 just My dad's so hard working. He was a 00:08:17.960 --> 00:08:19.797 bishop in our church from when I was in 00:08:19.880 --> 00:08:22.437 kindergarten to high school. Mhm. Always 00:08:22.520 --> 00:08:27.317 working. My mom always making sure we had meals and I always had birthday 00:08:27.400 --> 00:08:31.317 presents and Christmas presents and new clothes for school. 00:08:31.400 --> 00:08:35.597 Um but as I look back on my on my childhood, 00:08:35.680 --> 00:08:39.397 it was beautiful and I had a great childhood, but I know looking back when 00:08:39.480 --> 00:08:42.037 I was a kid, I was very scared a lot. 00:08:42.120 --> 00:08:46.837 Um There is There was physical abuse in the home. 00:08:46.920 --> 00:08:48.437 Um 00:08:48.520 --> 00:08:52.397 When I was three and a half or four, um 00:08:52.480 --> 00:08:56.197 there was an experience with my mom where I was pushed down the stairs and 00:08:56.280 --> 00:08:57.997 my collarbone broke. 00:08:58.080 --> 00:09:01.277 Um by your mom by the Okay. Yeah, by by 00:09:01.360 --> 00:09:03.637 yeah, by my mom. So the physical abuse 00:09:03.720 --> 00:09:05.717 came from the parents, older brothers, 00:09:05.800 --> 00:09:09.117 both? Yeah, from my mom, yeah. Okay. 00:09:09.200 --> 00:09:12.197 Okay. Sorry. Um No, that's okay. 00:09:12.280 --> 00:09:15.957 Uh And uh I just I remember I mean, there's 00:09:16.040 --> 00:09:20.477 so many there's so many good things to remember, too. Like But I I went to bed. 00:09:20.560 --> 00:09:22.717 I I remember I'd wake up cold. Sometimes 00:09:22.800 --> 00:09:26.037 I'd wrap up in the in the uh 00:09:26.120 --> 00:09:33.080 um It's okay. It's okay. 00:09:33.320 --> 00:09:36.197 I remember waking up in the middle of the night a lot looking for something 00:09:36.280 --> 00:09:39.397 dry to sleep in. So, I tried either the 00:09:39.480 --> 00:09:43.717 shower curtain or um like we had this cover on our couch 00:09:43.800 --> 00:09:47.797 that was too big for the couch. So, sometimes I'd go wrap up in that. 00:09:47.880 --> 00:09:52.797 Um Yeah. Really just a you know, a busy life, a lot of things, a lot of great 00:09:52.880 --> 00:09:56.677 things in life. Like my childhood was beautiful in so many ways. 00:09:56.760 --> 00:09:58.917 But, I do remember as a kid just kind of 00:09:59.000 --> 00:10:01.317 surviving and um 00:10:01.400 --> 00:10:04.397 Yeah. hungry a lot. Um 00:10:04.480 --> 00:10:06.957 One time I had snuck, this crazy drawer 00:10:07.040 --> 00:10:08.877 where we'd put leftover 00:10:08.960 --> 00:10:11.637 um ketchup packets or barbecue sauce 00:10:11.720 --> 00:10:14.277 packets from McDonald's. Mhm. And one 00:10:14.360 --> 00:10:17.157 time I had gotten caught sneaking those 00:10:17.240 --> 00:10:21.717 in the bathroom and I would eat eat the barbecue sauce and I'd put it in the 00:10:21.800 --> 00:10:27.717 laundry hamper. >> [laughter] >> Good luck What better way to destroy the 00:10:27.800 --> 00:10:30.687 evidence? >> Yeah, I mean, just genius. 00:10:30.770 --> 00:10:34.517 >> [laughter] >> Uh and I got in pretty big trouble for 00:10:34.600 --> 00:10:37.897 that. Um Yeah, especially if it was with the whites. 00:10:37.980 --> 00:10:42.477 >> [laughter] >> Yeah. Barbecue sauce. 00:10:42.560 --> 00:10:46.757 >> [laughter] >> Yeah. Um we grew up I grew up in a Mormon home 00:10:46.840 --> 00:10:50.397 which had had its beautiful parts in so many ways, you know. 00:10:50.480 --> 00:10:52.957 >> Mhm. Um but definitely a lot of high 00:10:53.040 --> 00:10:55.917 standards. Yeah. Um 00:10:56.000 --> 00:11:01.117 The other thing that was that was really difficult when I was 13, looking back 00:11:01.200 --> 00:11:05.237 now I can see what was happening. I was being groomed by a woman 00:11:05.320 --> 00:11:09.557 uh in her 40s um who was Just a friend of the family 00:11:09.640 --> 00:11:14.517 or Yeah. [snorts] Okay. And she would touch me 00:11:14.600 --> 00:11:17.997 um and then it it eventually led when I was 00:11:18.080 --> 00:11:20.117 14, there was a um 00:11:20.200 --> 00:11:24.077 a a sexual experience Mhm. that I I 00:11:24.160 --> 00:11:25.837 didn't I didn't understand as a 00:11:25.920 --> 00:11:28.437 14-year-old. Yeah. She went and 00:11:28.520 --> 00:11:33.317 confessed to our local church leaders and they brought me in 00:11:33.400 --> 00:11:36.757 and I was put on what's called probation. 00:11:36.840 --> 00:11:41.277 So, I wasn't allowed to take the sacrament. I wasn't allowed to pray in 00:11:41.360 --> 00:11:45.957 public. Um So, I just remember feeling really sick. 00:11:46.040 --> 00:11:48.997 Like, I didn't want to eat. Um 00:11:49.080 --> 00:11:53.277 I just felt really guilty. Um 00:11:53.360 --> 00:11:57.837 Uh And then uh and then I went on a mission for my 00:11:57.920 --> 00:11:59.357 church. 00:11:59.440 --> 00:12:03.197 Mhm. Um cuz I really believed it. I I I 00:12:03.280 --> 00:12:06.597 really felt like and I can see now where 00:12:06.680 --> 00:12:08.237 by doing things in the church, it would 00:12:08.320 --> 00:12:11.437 get the approval of my community, my 00:12:11.520 --> 00:12:14.917 parents, my family. Yeah. Um and I gave 00:12:15.000 --> 00:12:18.517 it everything I had and I and I and I believed in it and I really felt like 00:12:18.600 --> 00:12:22.757 the best thing I can do for the world is go knock doors and help people and give 00:12:22.840 --> 00:12:27.557 them this message. And um it was on my mission where I first 00:12:27.640 --> 00:12:31.237 hurt my back. And it wasn't even a big deal. I was just jumping over a ditch 00:12:31.320 --> 00:12:36.157 and I felt something in my back and I came home and I had my first back surgery. 00:12:36.240 --> 00:12:40.597 Um And then, you know, I I married my high school 00:12:40.680 --> 00:12:43.117 sweetheart. We have a beautiful family. 00:12:43.200 --> 00:12:46.677 Mhm. And I I joined the army when I was 00:12:46.760 --> 00:12:51.677 30. And um I came home from army training 00:12:51.760 --> 00:12:55.157 and then I decided to quit my job cuz I realized I was miserable and I started 00:12:55.240 --> 00:12:58.997 doing music full-time. And that's when I first started really 00:12:59.080 --> 00:13:02.757 sitting with all these things that had happened cuz I I really want to make 00:13:02.840 --> 00:13:05.277 music that helps people. Yeah. 00:13:05.360 --> 00:13:08.717 I I really I want to I want to help people heal as 00:13:08.800 --> 00:13:11.797 best I can. Um especially my own 00:13:11.880 --> 00:13:13.957 siblings who I know are 00:13:14.040 --> 00:13:16.477 all carrying different things and um 00:13:16.560 --> 00:13:19.717 Yeah. I was realizing 00:13:19.800 --> 00:13:21.877 the religion I'm in, I'm limited in how 00:13:21.960 --> 00:13:24.317 I can help people. Yeah. I just want to 00:13:24.400 --> 00:13:29.117 be able to help people. Mhm. And the the addicts that I'm 00:13:29.200 --> 00:13:33.477 I'm wor- sitting with and the homeless that I'm visiting and 00:13:33.560 --> 00:13:37.397 and and the people in these mental health facilities, what I'm offering 00:13:37.480 --> 00:13:41.317 with religion isn't what they need right now. Like they need 00:13:41.400 --> 00:13:44.957 something else and I started to realize I didn't really have anything to help 00:13:45.040 --> 00:13:48.677 them with. Mhm. And that's when I started realizing I didn't even know how 00:13:48.760 --> 00:13:51.597 to help myself really. Like >> Yeah. 00:13:51.680 --> 00:13:55.677 And so I tried to process these things and 00:13:55.760 --> 00:13:59.957 I just it was a really scary thing to start to realize as I did more research 00:14:00.040 --> 00:14:01.597 into my own religion that it's not what 00:14:01.680 --> 00:14:03.877 I thought it was and it was this 00:14:03.960 --> 00:14:07.117 scary scary experience because I was 00:14:07.200 --> 00:14:11.277 worried would my wife see me the same if I'm not Mormon. Would my in-laws accept 00:14:11.360 --> 00:14:14.437 me? Would Yeah. >> This is the the one thing I was good at 00:14:14.520 --> 00:14:19.077 was being a member of this church and teaching and 00:14:19.160 --> 00:14:21.837 sharing. And now I'm realizing that none of it is 00:14:21.920 --> 00:14:24.437 what I thought it was and I started to 00:14:24.520 --> 00:14:26.717 hit me when I talked to a uh 00:14:26.800 --> 00:14:30.477 a trauma therapist and she said 00:14:30.560 --> 00:14:34.397 cuz I had always carried the guilt of that experience those experiences when I 00:14:34.480 --> 00:14:38.197 was a teenager and she said, "No, you were abused. Like 00:14:38.280 --> 00:14:40.317 that's you didn't you weren't able to 00:14:40.400 --> 00:14:43.077 consent." And I was like 31 years old 00:14:43.160 --> 00:14:45.797 when this hit me and I was like 00:14:45.880 --> 00:14:50.077 "Oh my gosh. Like what? What is this?" 00:14:50.160 --> 00:14:52.277 I really thought that I was guilty 00:14:52.360 --> 00:14:57.277 before God that I had >> done this thing and 00:14:57.360 --> 00:15:00.597 that's when I pulled my kids out of the church and I and I started to get angry 00:15:00.680 --> 00:15:03.517 about all this and I started to 00:15:03.600 --> 00:15:07.397 And now I'm at a place where 00:15:07.480 --> 00:15:12.200 I just I want to feel healed. I just 00:15:17.640 --> 00:15:21.557 Um I just I just want to be, you know, I 00:15:21.640 --> 00:15:27.360 want to stop uh I want to stop running and >> Yeah. 00:15:27.840 --> 00:15:32.837 Um I can feel where I'm not taking care of myself and I'm I'm eating food that 00:15:32.920 --> 00:15:34.517 makes me sick and sometimes I'll have 00:15:34.600 --> 00:15:37.797 three or four Dr. Peppers in a day. Mhm. 00:15:37.880 --> 00:15:40.317 And and and sometimes like a a sexual 00:15:40.400 --> 00:15:42.957 release or self-soothing like Mhm. five, 00:15:43.040 --> 00:15:45.597 six times in a day. Mhm. And then I have 00:15:45.680 --> 00:15:49.117 all this shame around it and 00:15:49.200 --> 00:15:53.797 and uh I I I want to help others heal. I want 00:15:53.880 --> 00:15:57.877 to heal and I've been listening to you for years and I that's been the 00:15:57.960 --> 00:16:02.637 frustrating thing for me is I I know like what happened happened and couldn't 00:16:02.720 --> 00:16:05.317 have happened any other way because it didn't and Mhm. 00:16:05.400 --> 00:16:08.997 >> this is all just a story and and you 00:16:09.080 --> 00:16:13.437 know, these are all gifts and every trigger is a gift and yes 00:16:13.520 --> 00:16:15.437 Mhm. and why am I back in the drive-thru 00:16:15.520 --> 00:16:18.837 again and like why Mhm. Uh and I can 00:16:18.920 --> 00:16:23.517 look back on these events in my life and I can also see miracles. Mhm. 00:16:23.600 --> 00:16:28.317 >> And so it's like like pick a story, bro. Like 00:16:28.400 --> 00:16:33.317 Like I just I just want to be happy and I just um 00:16:33.400 --> 00:16:39.397 you know, I uh I I just I want to I want to be and and 00:16:39.480 --> 00:16:42.717 >> Yeah. and that's the frustrating thing is that 00:16:42.800 --> 00:16:45.117 I'm I'm having this new awareness and I 00:16:45.200 --> 00:16:47.637 have moments where I feel bliss and 00:16:47.720 --> 00:16:50.517 beauty and I write these songs and 00:16:50.600 --> 00:16:52.437 everything makes sense and it's like, oh 00:16:52.520 --> 00:16:55.277 my god. Like being in that car with my 00:16:55.360 --> 00:16:58.077 mother, what a gift that was. I got to 00:16:58.160 --> 00:17:02.757 be with her when she moved on. Like a lot of people don't get that gift and Mhm. 00:17:02.840 --> 00:17:04.357 >> I'm trying I've been trying to reframe 00:17:04.440 --> 00:17:06.357 all these things and and make them 00:17:06.440 --> 00:17:09.957 beautiful. Yeah. And um 00:17:10.040 --> 00:17:13.357 but then I then I find myself back 00:17:13.440 --> 00:17:17.677 to using marijuana every day and just wanting to feel good, just wanting 00:17:17.760 --> 00:17:19.717 Mhm. believing these lies that I know 00:17:19.800 --> 00:17:23.277 are lies, that if I just take some THC 00:17:23.360 --> 00:17:26.037 uh then I can relax. And if I just 00:17:26.120 --> 00:17:30.677 drink the Dr. Pepper uh then I'll feel better. And almost this 00:17:30.760 --> 00:17:34.277 feeling like if I don't get it, like this 00:17:34.360 --> 00:17:39.277 like I don't know, like this scary feeling. Yeah. I know that's not 00:17:39.360 --> 00:17:42.917 healthy. And I just want to be real. I want to be 00:17:43.000 --> 00:17:47.957 honest, and I want to honestly help people without an agenda. I just want to 00:17:48.040 --> 00:17:51.157 be able to And when I when I began my music 00:17:51.240 --> 00:17:53.157 project, it's called Love the World. 00:17:53.240 --> 00:17:58.157 That's what my LLC is registered as. I kept going back between heal the world 00:17:58.240 --> 00:18:01.997 or love the world. Should it be heal the world? And finally I was like I don't 00:18:02.080 --> 00:18:05.117 even know how to heal myself. Like >> [laughter] 00:18:05.200 --> 00:18:08.517 >> Yeah, yeah. heal the world. Like, come on, bro. So I was like, I don't know how 00:18:08.600 --> 00:18:11.517 to heal nobody, but I know how to love. 00:18:11.600 --> 00:18:14.837 I know how to stick with people. I know how to hold people. 00:18:14.920 --> 00:18:18.157 Yeah. I just for some reason, I don't know why 00:18:18.240 --> 00:18:19.997 I haven't found that for myself yet. 00:18:20.080 --> 00:18:24.557 Even though intellectually I I've listened all your stuff, and I've 00:18:24.640 --> 00:18:28.237 the Tony Robbins and Brené Brown, and I've done ketamine, and I've met with a 00:18:28.320 --> 00:18:31.477 therapist for years, and the life coaching, and the 00:18:31.560 --> 00:18:36.197 the journaling, and the mindfulness, and the like Uh 00:18:36.280 --> 00:18:39.677 what am I missing? And I and I hear you in my head, the only thing that's wrong 00:18:39.760 --> 00:18:43.597 with you is the fact that you think something's wrong with you. And I cry. 00:18:43.680 --> 00:18:47.997 And that changed me. Yeah. And then I come back to this 00:18:48.080 --> 00:18:51.357 state again. And then I got Joe Dispenza in my head, like, yeah, that's the 00:18:51.440 --> 00:18:54.477 familiar pathway. So try something new. 00:18:54.560 --> 00:18:59.197 You know what I mean? Like Peter 00:18:59.280 --> 00:19:02.237 I I just need to get crowned, man. I was going to say, that's the only thing 00:19:02.320 --> 00:19:05.717 missing. That's the only thing missing is being crowned, right? Let's see if we 00:19:05.800 --> 00:19:09.637 can't handle that today. Listen, you are a sweetheart. I love the 00:19:09.720 --> 00:19:13.637 energy. I love the enthusiasm. You clearly have a boundless capacity to 00:19:13.720 --> 00:19:17.557 love, which is beautiful. Um just again for the reference for 00:19:17.640 --> 00:19:21.957 people listening, you know, you talked about Dr. Pepper, you know, sexual 00:19:22.040 --> 00:19:23.597 release, whether that's through porn or 00:19:23.680 --> 00:19:27.197 just self, you know, um satisfaction. 00:19:27.280 --> 00:19:30.317 You had uh junk food, but then 00:19:30.400 --> 00:19:35.717 you have made steps, right? Cuz you were at one point addicted to opioids. Yes. 00:19:35.800 --> 00:19:40.397 Okay. >> Yeah, and I haven't used those since December of 2023. Which is Yeah, 00:19:40.480 --> 00:19:43.117 amazing. >> Great. It's Yeah, it's Yeah. 00:19:43.200 --> 00:19:45.237 Yeah, any other substances? 00:19:45.320 --> 00:19:48.797 No, like marijuana is I got a a medical 00:19:48.880 --> 00:19:53.837 marijuana card, and the only other substance is my wife. So, when you say 00:19:53.920 --> 00:19:55.757 when you when you say porn, like she has 00:19:55.840 --> 00:19:59.477 been so sweet, so 00:19:59.560 --> 00:20:02.277 attentive and giving 00:20:02.360 --> 00:20:05.957 to where I I don't watch porn. I have my 00:20:06.040 --> 00:20:10.157 own material of my wife. And that is my 00:20:10.240 --> 00:20:13.277 sexual outlet. It's like my I I call it 00:20:13.360 --> 00:20:16.397 like my cheat code. 00:20:16.480 --> 00:20:18.717 But ironically, compared to most men, 00:20:18.800 --> 00:20:21.197 not cheating cheat code, yeah. Right, 00:20:21.280 --> 00:20:25.837 yeah. And she's so giving, and every day she's like, "Do you need Do you need 00:20:25.920 --> 00:20:27.997 something?" Like, "Do you Do you" 00:20:28.080 --> 00:20:33.357 And I've just I'm at a place where it's like, this isn't on her, like Yeah. It's 00:20:33.440 --> 00:20:37.797 like you'll never get enough of what almost, you know, works, like you say. So, 00:20:37.880 --> 00:20:41.717 that's when I knew I I don't know why I keep going. But that's Those are the 00:20:41.800 --> 00:20:44.557 substances. Marijuana, Dr. Pepper, food, 00:20:44.640 --> 00:20:49.397 and intimacy with my wife, or intercourse, not intimacy. Yeah, yeah. 00:20:49.480 --> 00:20:53.597 Okay. Well, I appreciate the vulnerability. I appreciate 00:20:53.680 --> 00:20:57.757 um your willingness to share your story, and clearly some of the events that have 00:20:57.840 --> 00:21:00.557 transpired that you shared will have uh 00:21:00.640 --> 00:21:03.277 contributed to this identity that, you 00:21:03.360 --> 00:21:07.757 know, I I I love how well versed you are with my work and the quotes, and life 00:21:07.840 --> 00:21:10.557 will present you with people and circumstances to reveal where you're not 00:21:10.640 --> 00:21:13.597 free and what happened happened and all the things you said, the only thing you 00:21:13.680 --> 00:21:17.077 think is wrong with you is thinking there's something wrong with you. So, 00:21:17.160 --> 00:21:22.037 these are all great, but knowing those things clearly doesn't it it's it 00:21:22.120 --> 00:21:25.557 they're accurate but insufficient is the way that I put it, right? Meaning that 00:21:25.640 --> 00:21:29.317 they're not quite getting to the core of what's going on for Philip. 00:21:29.400 --> 00:21:34.357 So, hopefully today we can um we can access that, okay? Yeah, please, dude. 00:21:34.440 --> 00:21:38.880 Yes. Let's [__] go. 00:21:39.200 --> 00:21:44.117 So, [clears throat] a very subtle distinction that I I feel is 00:21:44.200 --> 00:21:46.797 often um 00:21:46.880 --> 00:21:48.877 first of all, never discussed and 00:21:48.960 --> 00:21:51.997 perhaps never even known is with regards 00:21:52.080 --> 00:21:54.157 to addiction itself. Right? So, if you 00:21:54.240 --> 00:21:56.997 were to look at weed 00:21:57.080 --> 00:21:59.717 Dr. Pepper, junk food, sex, how how 00:21:59.800 --> 00:22:05.037 would you classify those things in the realm of addiction? That they are the 00:22:05.120 --> 00:22:08.717 what? Uh they are the 00:22:08.800 --> 00:22:13.237 the fix. They're the They're the addiction. They're the Yeah. So, so 00:22:13.320 --> 00:22:16.637 typically in the realm of addiction and you know, I've helped people in a a 00:22:16.720 --> 00:22:20.077 myriad of different ways with all sorts of different substances. Most people 00:22:20.160 --> 00:22:23.717 will say even think I have an alcohol problem. I have a marijuana problem. I 00:22:23.800 --> 00:22:27.957 have a cocaine problem, right? So, we tend to look at 00:22:28.040 --> 00:22:32.997 the substances as {quote} {unquote} the problem. Make sense, right? Like you're 00:22:33.080 --> 00:22:37.437 whether you're articulating it that way or not, you're looking at, "Okay, I do, 00:22:37.520 --> 00:22:41.357 you know, relieve myself five times a day. I have three or four Dr. Peppers. I 00:22:41.440 --> 00:22:44.037 smoke weed every day." They they are 00:22:44.120 --> 00:22:46.917 albeit perhaps not declared this way, 00:22:47.000 --> 00:22:48.637 they are perceived as the problem in 00:22:48.720 --> 00:22:52.477 Philip's life. Correct? Yeah, right. 00:22:52.560 --> 00:22:55.877 Now, what happens and why this is a powerful distinction is when we look at 00:22:55.960 --> 00:22:58.117 something as a problem, we generate 00:22:58.200 --> 00:23:00.877 resistance internally to it. 00:23:00.960 --> 00:23:03.637 Yeah? Right. Make sense? Whenever we 00:23:03.720 --> 00:23:05.877 have resistance to something, what that 00:23:05.960 --> 00:23:08.157 actually does is it exacerbates the 00:23:08.240 --> 00:23:11.037 desire for it. 00:23:11.120 --> 00:23:12.997 Yeah, okay. Do you see that? You 00:23:13.080 --> 00:23:18.117 tracking? Yeah, definitely. Now, the reason we do that is because our essence 00:23:18.200 --> 00:23:21.677 is freedom. So, think about it this way. If who we 00:23:21.760 --> 00:23:24.117 are is freedom, meaning we're able to do 00:23:24.200 --> 00:23:27.277 anything, your nature is freedom, 00:23:27.360 --> 00:23:30.157 but you're psychologically, emotionally, 00:23:30.240 --> 00:23:31.837 intellectually telling yourself that you 00:23:31.920 --> 00:23:35.117 can't do something, then because of our 00:23:35.200 --> 00:23:39.157 nature of freedom, the inclination is towards that. 00:23:39.240 --> 00:23:41.677 Do you Do you follow that energetics? 00:23:41.760 --> 00:23:44.477 >> Oh, okay. So, you're saying 00:23:44.560 --> 00:23:47.717 I've labeled it as bad, so I don't So, I 00:23:47.800 --> 00:23:51.717 shouldn't have it, but by saying I shouldn't have it, my soul is like, "No, 00:23:51.800 --> 00:23:53.637 I'm free. I can have whatever I want." 00:23:53.720 --> 00:23:57.197 Right. That's the light way of expressing it. So, now, here's the aha 00:23:57.280 --> 00:23:59.517 moment cuz you're very smart. 00:23:59.600 --> 00:24:01.757 What I want you to realize, Philip, 00:24:01.840 --> 00:24:04.397 whether it's sexual addiction, Dr. 00:24:04.480 --> 00:24:07.917 Pepper, junk food, weed, whatever substance, even back in the day, 00:24:08.000 --> 00:24:12.277 opioids, listen carefully. None of those are the 00:24:12.360 --> 00:24:18.600 problem. They are the solution. 00:24:20.520 --> 00:24:24.677 Now, let that land. Everything that you're partaking in that 00:24:24.760 --> 00:24:30.600 you call an addiction is not a problem, it's a solution. 00:24:33.320 --> 00:24:34.997 Okay. 00:24:35.080 --> 00:24:36.677 I mean, I trust you. I'm going with you 00:24:36.760 --> 00:24:40.877 on this. Yeah. So, so stay with me. 00:24:40.960 --> 00:24:43.317 So, if everything that you're choosing 00:24:43.400 --> 00:24:45.677 unconsciously, so in the world of like 00:24:45.760 --> 00:24:48.157 ego, we typically are driven by what I 00:24:48.240 --> 00:24:50.997 call unconscious reactions. So, right 00:24:51.080 --> 00:24:53.917 now, those solutions that I'm reframing 00:24:54.000 --> 00:24:56.437 for you are unconscious reactions to the 00:24:56.520 --> 00:25:01.557 ultimate addiction, which is to the idea of our self. 00:25:01.640 --> 00:25:06.117 Okay. So Philip at the subconscious level of 00:25:06.200 --> 00:25:10.557 his own personality will have narratives, pieces of code which we're 00:25:10.640 --> 00:25:12.557 going to reveal today 00:25:12.640 --> 00:25:14.917 that generate the internal experience of 00:25:15.000 --> 00:25:19.637 suffering from which you try to escape. 00:25:19.720 --> 00:25:25.477 Okay. >> The means of escape is the solution to your suffering. 00:25:25.560 --> 00:25:29.397 Okay. >> Yeah. Now if we don't deal with the internal 00:25:29.480 --> 00:25:32.037 suffering, then it doesn't matter how 00:25:32.120 --> 00:25:35.397 much you try to avoid the solutions, 00:25:35.480 --> 00:25:37.797 you're being informed by suffering and 00:25:37.880 --> 00:25:39.677 there is no mammal on the planet that 00:25:39.760 --> 00:25:43.037 does not try to escape suffering. 00:25:43.120 --> 00:25:46.237 Right. Okay. So 00:25:46.320 --> 00:25:49.397 the first reframe for you is your your 00:25:49.480 --> 00:25:55.520 unconscious programming is doing the the right job. 00:25:57.040 --> 00:25:59.557 You follow? Meaning So this is a way of 00:25:59.640 --> 00:26:02.077 acknowledging your conditioning without 00:26:02.160 --> 00:26:07.197 wanting to perpetuate it or condone it, right? Meaning Oh, Philip at the deepest 00:26:07.280 --> 00:26:11.877 level and we've got all the evidence, at least I do, as to why your suffering is 00:26:11.960 --> 00:26:14.077 doing what every human being who suffers 00:26:14.160 --> 00:26:18.237 does, which is get away from suffering. 00:26:18.320 --> 00:26:22.237 So in that particular timeline of 00:26:22.320 --> 00:26:24.517 existence, what you're doing is {quote} 00:26:24.600 --> 00:26:30.600 correct for the instinct of a mammal. 00:26:30.920 --> 00:26:35.837 Okay. You follow? Yeah. Okay. So you're 00:26:35.920 --> 00:26:39.717 >> So first of all what what I'm By doing this, what I want to help you to do is 00:26:39.800 --> 00:26:42.477 to eradicate, mitigate the judgment and 00:26:42.560 --> 00:26:45.677 shame that you have about your chosen 00:26:45.760 --> 00:26:48.357 forms of solution. 00:26:48.440 --> 00:26:51.757 Yeah. Okay. Does that help soften start 00:26:51.840 --> 00:26:54.917 to at least go, "Oh, I'm actually doing 00:26:55.000 --> 00:26:56.997 what any mammal would do when in a 00:26:57.080 --> 00:26:59.997 position of discomfort? I'm finding 00:27:00.080 --> 00:27:03.437 comfort." Okay. Yeah. 00:27:03.520 --> 00:27:06.317 Yeah. So, how does that feel super Yeah, 00:27:06.400 --> 00:27:11.120 how does that feel? So, it feels like 00:27:11.320 --> 00:27:15.077 I don't I just feel like I have more compassion for myself. Like So, you're 00:27:15.160 --> 00:27:17.397 saying I've just been surviving. 00:27:17.480 --> 00:27:19.917 Correct. >> And none of these things are bad, but 00:27:20.000 --> 00:27:22.677 No. because I have this subconscious 00:27:22.760 --> 00:27:27.037 something that's happening, these are naturally a solution for that suffering. 00:27:27.120 --> 00:27:30.157 Correct. And when you frame it that way, as you 00:27:30.240 --> 00:27:33.957 just said beautifully, and it you know, it brought up an emotion for you, you 00:27:34.040 --> 00:27:37.117 can find compassion for yourself. Oh, 00:27:37.200 --> 00:27:39.077 I'm hurt, 00:27:39.160 --> 00:27:41.877 suffering, and all I'm doing, albeit at 00:27:41.960 --> 00:27:44.397 some degree unconsciously, 00:27:44.480 --> 00:27:47.557 is finding some relief. 00:27:47.640 --> 00:27:50.597 Yeah. Yeah. With like So, for example, 00:27:50.680 --> 00:27:54.637 if you're if you're you know, you've got three kids, you said? Five. 00:27:54.720 --> 00:27:56.757 >> You got You Oh, you got five kids. 00:27:56.840 --> 00:28:00.237 >> Yeah. Okay, sorry. So, you cuz I know you said the two daughters and the son 00:28:00.320 --> 00:28:02.397 were saying get cramp. Thank you. 00:28:02.480 --> 00:28:04.597 Safety in numbers in your family, apparently. 00:28:04.680 --> 00:28:04.797 >> [laughter] 00:28:04.880 --> 00:28:08.557 >> All right. So, So, if let's say um you 00:28:08.640 --> 00:28:11.997 know, your son had burned his finger, 00:28:12.080 --> 00:28:15.957 right? Just whatever. It was holding trying to make a fire for the family, or 00:28:16.040 --> 00:28:20.077 was pouring a kettle and grabbed the piece of metal, and then he went to the 00:28:20.160 --> 00:28:24.037 cold tap. Would you Would you shame him for 00:28:24.120 --> 00:28:26.077 putting his finger under the cold tap? 00:28:26.160 --> 00:28:30.317 Oh, no. Of course not. No. Do you see? 00:28:30.400 --> 00:28:31.797 Yeah. 00:28:31.880 --> 00:28:35.717 Isn't that Isn't that interesting? 00:28:35.800 --> 00:28:39.757 Oh my gosh. >> [laughter] 00:28:39.840 --> 00:28:44.277 >> So, that's level number one, right? So, first of all, huh? 00:28:44.360 --> 00:28:48.517 No, it just reminded me of Liar Liar with Jim Carrey when the guy walks in on 00:28:48.600 --> 00:28:51.717 the bathroom and he's like, "What are you doing?" He's like, "I'm kicking my 00:28:51.800 --> 00:28:54.557 ass. Do you mind?" >> [laughter] 00:28:54.640 --> 00:28:59.317 >> Yeah, you're very good at that. Welcome to Welcome to your humanity, yeah. I've 00:28:59.400 --> 00:29:02.197 yet to meet a human being who doesn't at some level beat the [__] out of 00:29:02.280 --> 00:29:05.117 themselves, yeah. [laughter] Yeah. 00:29:05.200 --> 00:29:07.797 I'm doing my best to, you know, one mind 00:29:07.880 --> 00:29:10.317 at a time liberate souls. But anyway, 00:29:10.400 --> 00:29:14.237 um so, first level, oh my gosh, Philip, 00:29:14.320 --> 00:29:18.117 albeit not necessarily a conscious choice, which is what we're evolving to 00:29:18.200 --> 00:29:22.637 versus unconscious reaction, right? We want to move into conscious creation, 00:29:22.720 --> 00:29:26.237 which we will do by the end of this conversation, you have my word. 00:29:26.320 --> 00:29:30.077 But right now, we first of all want to see that within the realm of what I call 00:29:30.160 --> 00:29:32.357 this old operating system of humanity 00:29:32.440 --> 00:29:34.277 1.0 mindset, 00:29:34.360 --> 00:29:38.277 that entire structure of programming is 00:29:38.360 --> 00:29:41.237 its sole imperative is survival. 00:29:41.320 --> 00:29:42.837 Now, why is it based in survival? 00:29:42.920 --> 00:29:45.597 Because the underlying fundamental code 00:29:45.680 --> 00:29:48.117 is in some sort of inadequacy, 00:29:48.200 --> 00:29:50.157 insecurity, or scarcity, meaning we're 00:29:50.240 --> 00:29:53.717 living in a confined view of ourself 00:29:53.800 --> 00:29:59.760 that creates suffering from which we seek relief. 00:29:59.880 --> 00:30:03.517 That's just 101 existence. That's a whole world out there, Philip, just not 00:30:03.600 --> 00:30:07.637 you, right? Yours manifests as what you call, you know, addiction. Someone might 00:30:07.720 --> 00:30:11.557 be listening to this who's like, "That dude drinks three to four Dr. Pepper's a 00:30:11.640 --> 00:30:15.437 day? [__] A, welcome to my world, dude." Like, you know, "I'm doing 00:30:15.520 --> 00:30:18.957 cocaine every hour." Or, you know, I mean, there was There was someone who 00:30:19.040 --> 00:30:21.477 was drinking 99, you know, Cokes a day 00:30:21.560 --> 00:30:23.037 that one of my Ayurveda doctors was 00:30:23.120 --> 00:30:26.397 helping, right? So, relatively speaking, 00:30:26.480 --> 00:30:30.157 yeah, doesn't really matter. Everybody's got their own form of addiction because, 00:30:30.240 --> 00:30:33.677 you know, my quotes better than anyone, apparently, and the one I have about 00:30:33.760 --> 00:30:35.637 addiction is there's no greater 00:30:35.720 --> 00:30:39.237 addiction than the idea of ourself. 00:30:39.320 --> 00:30:44.037 Mhm. That's your addiction. Yeah. Yeah. 00:30:44.120 --> 00:30:46.117 What we want to be able to do today is 00:30:46.200 --> 00:30:48.637 we want to reveal what is that idea of 00:30:48.720 --> 00:30:51.197 Philip that creates the suffering that 00:30:51.280 --> 00:30:54.317 is the precursor to the unconscious draw 00:30:54.400 --> 00:30:56.677 naturally to a form of relief which you 00:30:56.760 --> 00:31:00.557 found in you know these four sort of 00:31:00.640 --> 00:31:05.357 predominant choices, right? Right. And and the other thing that really hurts 00:31:05.440 --> 00:31:07.477 me, Peter, which I know you're about to 00:31:07.560 --> 00:31:10.477 help me with is my my my 9-year-old 00:31:10.560 --> 00:31:12.517 daughter or my 6-year-old daughter. 00:31:12.600 --> 00:31:15.197 They will come to me and give me love. 00:31:15.280 --> 00:31:17.237 They will kiss me on the cheek. 00:31:17.320 --> 00:31:19.477 And they will hug me and I'll just feel 00:31:19.560 --> 00:31:22.757 in my body like anger. 00:31:22.840 --> 00:31:26.237 And I I I don't like I don't understand 00:31:26.320 --> 00:31:28.397 why my sweet little girls are just 00:31:28.480 --> 00:31:32.237 trying to love their dad and I feel this 00:31:32.320 --> 00:31:36.237 frustration, this Yeah. anger and I 00:31:36.320 --> 00:31:39.357 don't get it. Like what? >> That's okay. We'll get to it. Don't 00:31:39.440 --> 00:31:43.477 worry. It's very clear. It'll all become crystal clear by the time I'm 00:31:43.560 --> 00:31:45.987 I'm done with your Dr. Pepper drinking ass. 00:31:46.070 --> 00:31:48.090 >> [laughter] 00:31:49.040 --> 00:31:53.197 >> Such a wild guy. Three to four cans a day. Oh my god, you're out of control. 00:31:53.280 --> 00:31:56.437 >> [laughter] >> I live on the wild side, man. 00:31:56.520 --> 00:32:00.117 Exactly. I should introduce you to some people 00:32:00.200 --> 00:32:03.597 I've helped. No. All kidding aside, I don't want to in 00:32:03.680 --> 00:32:06.997 any way adjust you you're just so fun to be with and I don't want to dismiss the 00:32:07.080 --> 00:32:10.357 you know the the the struggles that you've been through 00:32:10.440 --> 00:32:13.957 and the the the amount of love that you still bring to other people even in the 00:32:14.040 --> 00:32:17.757 face of your own suffering. It's it's really inspiring. So Thanks, bro. 00:32:17.840 --> 00:32:21.117 >> But now at least you're starting to see the cascade of how 00:32:21.200 --> 00:32:25.237 subconscious constraints lead to thoughts, feelings, and then behaviors 00:32:25.320 --> 00:32:29.757 um or actions which create outcomes, right? Yeah. So in this case what we're 00:32:29.840 --> 00:32:32.917 doing is I'm reverse engineering which I do with everybody back to the 00:32:33.000 --> 00:32:34.997 subconscious programming that 00:32:35.080 --> 00:32:40.397 fundamentally got triggered, not created, but stimulated in childhood, 00:32:40.480 --> 00:32:43.957 right? This is the much more esoteric understanding for the more advanced 00:32:44.040 --> 00:32:46.717 listener. Is my assertion is that we are 00:32:46.800 --> 00:32:49.557 here to transcend the constraints with 00:32:49.640 --> 00:32:54.637 which we arrived. Okay, it's not because your mom died in 00:32:54.720 --> 00:32:56.357 a car accident when you're 19 months. 00:32:56.440 --> 00:33:00.277 It's not because you were groomed and then sexually abused by a woman when you 00:33:00.360 --> 00:33:02.917 were 14. Those are 00:33:03.000 --> 00:33:05.797 the {quote} {unquote} catalysts 00:33:05.880 --> 00:33:08.757 to trigger the underlying constraints 00:33:08.840 --> 00:33:12.197 with which the soul Philip arrived that 00:33:12.280 --> 00:33:16.517 he's here to fundamentally transcend. I know that's 00:33:16.600 --> 00:33:19.037 quite a mouthful, but you're familiar with my work, so hopefully you're 00:33:19.120 --> 00:33:22.317 tracking. Oh, yeah, dude. I've been looking forward to this part for years, 00:33:22.400 --> 00:33:24.837 bro. >> [laughter] >> Okay. 00:33:24.920 --> 00:33:26.477 We could even argue that this was the 00:33:26.560 --> 00:33:29.397 reason you incarnated to be groomed. 00:33:29.480 --> 00:33:31.917 Dude, I'm I'm here for it, man. 00:33:32.000 --> 00:33:35.237 I [laughter and gasps] know. I know. Okay, beautiful. So, 00:33:35.320 --> 00:33:38.317 let's go back to those events and they're certainly two or three and it'll 00:33:38.400 --> 00:33:41.477 also tie into why your beautiful six and nine-year-old daughters come and kiss 00:33:41.560 --> 00:33:43.477 you on the cheek and yet you feel 00:33:43.560 --> 00:33:46.197 internally a form of resistance, which 00:33:46.280 --> 00:33:50.557 we already we we already spoke to, right? Right? We've got the the 00:33:50.640 --> 00:33:52.277 substances and you've got resistance. 00:33:52.360 --> 00:33:55.597 You're In your own words, you said, "Yeah, you're seeing them as bad, 00:33:55.680 --> 00:33:59.517 right?" Yeah. And so now the frustration or even the 00:33:59.600 --> 00:34:03.357 anger that you experience when your two beautiful daughters come to give you 00:34:03.440 --> 00:34:05.957 love will make a lot of sense by the 00:34:06.040 --> 00:34:10.957 time that you start to see who is Philip in the way that he has defined himself. 00:34:11.040 --> 00:34:12.717 Okay? Okay. 00:34:12.800 --> 00:34:18.317 So now, ironically, it wasn't so much what I hear in your story. It wasn't so 00:34:18.400 --> 00:34:21.517 much, you know, both events that you have kind 00:34:21.600 --> 00:34:26.237 of highlighted, the mom dying, which is of course tragic and and and I I'm 00:34:26.320 --> 00:34:29.597 really sorry you went through that, and certainly the sexual abuse, which I've 00:34:29.680 --> 00:34:31.717 helped a a of people go through. 00:34:31.800 --> 00:34:33.837 I feel the one of the most pivotal 00:34:33.920 --> 00:34:36.397 moments actually that has defined 00:34:36.480 --> 00:34:40.957 Philip's persona is the when you got 00:34:41.040 --> 00:34:45.277 um excommunicated shall we say the probate that you had to experience from the 00:34:45.360 --> 00:34:48.837 church. Yeah. 00:34:48.920 --> 00:34:51.197 Because what was that like? What when 00:34:51.280 --> 00:34:56.237 that 14-year-old and it's coming to the surface now for you, what what did you 00:34:56.320 --> 00:34:59.477 decide at that moment that that meant about you? 00:34:59.560 --> 00:35:03.997 Um that I was not worthy. 00:35:04.080 --> 00:35:05.997 Not worthy is a nice way of saying it. 00:35:06.080 --> 00:35:09.997 What else? That I was I was bad. That I was 00:35:10.080 --> 00:35:12.197 evil or 00:35:12.280 --> 00:35:17.237 Yeah. Not good. When I listen to your video, it gives me 00:35:17.320 --> 00:35:20.677 chills cuz for whatever reasons that I'm blessed with the ability to listen to a 00:35:20.760 --> 00:35:24.037 story and immediately hear the underlying subconscious constraints that 00:35:24.120 --> 00:35:27.837 confined people all I could hear 00:35:27.920 --> 00:35:33.280 was somebody who fundamentally thinks they're a bad person. 00:35:36.000 --> 00:35:40.200 What is that like to live inside of that, Philip? 00:35:42.280 --> 00:35:47.080 It's okay. Just let let it all out. Keep feeling it. 00:35:49.960 --> 00:35:52.640 It's okay. 00:35:53.680 --> 00:35:56.357 That who you are for yourself is bad and 00:35:56.440 --> 00:36:00.837 relative to your community your family 00:36:00.920 --> 00:36:05.117 Yeah, it's it's scary. It feels like I'm constantly going to get found out. Like 00:36:05.200 --> 00:36:08.397 people are constantly going to like when when they 00:36:08.480 --> 00:36:12.317 do they won't like me anymore. They won't love me. It's it's it's 00:36:12.400 --> 00:36:16.757 exhausting. I keep having to prove something to people. 00:36:16.840 --> 00:36:21.480 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 00:36:22.000 --> 00:36:24.397 Yeah, I get it. Just stay there for a 00:36:24.480 --> 00:36:26.437 minute. Like you've been walking around 00:36:26.520 --> 00:36:29.837 your how old now? 36? 30 36, yeah. 00:36:29.920 --> 00:36:32.597 Yeah, for over three decades that who 00:36:32.680 --> 00:36:38.237 you are for yourself is that you're just bad. 00:36:38.320 --> 00:36:41.437 And there could be other words that come to mind. You're rotten, you're trash, 00:36:41.520 --> 00:36:45.157 you're dirty is another word that I feel. 00:36:45.240 --> 00:36:50.597 Does that resonate? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. 00:36:50.680 --> 00:36:54.237 I mean, that's just dirty, right? What you went through that you you know, you 00:36:54.320 --> 00:36:57.117 don't belong now in the church. Yeah. 00:36:57.200 --> 00:37:01.720 >> You're so filthy. Yeah. 00:37:06.720 --> 00:37:10.357 What are some of the ways that when you live inside of that prison that you have 00:37:10.440 --> 00:37:15.357 learned to compensate? Um to 00:37:15.440 --> 00:37:18.997 like especially when I was in the church, I I studied the scriptures more 00:37:19.080 --> 00:37:21.077 than anybody and I memorized scriptures 00:37:21.160 --> 00:37:26.517 and I volunteered for every class and I said yes even when I didn't want to. 00:37:26.600 --> 00:37:31.197 And um and I 00:37:31.280 --> 00:37:32.757 did the things that nobody else wanted 00:37:32.840 --> 00:37:36.677 to do and I volunteered in nursery and I 00:37:36.760 --> 00:37:42.117 basically just abandoned myself trying to prove to everybody in church like see 00:37:42.200 --> 00:37:44.317 I'm I'm a good guy. >> [laughter] 00:37:44.400 --> 00:37:47.837 >> Yeah. Um All the while reinforcing what? 00:37:47.920 --> 00:37:51.837 That I'm bad. Now look at that. Look at all the 00:37:51.920 --> 00:37:56.197 energy, the effort, the time, the the the abandonment as you said, the way you 00:37:56.280 --> 00:37:58.517 compromised yourself, the exhaustion you 00:37:58.600 --> 00:38:00.437 put yourself through. 00:38:00.520 --> 00:38:04.277 Always always reinforcing the very thing 00:38:04.360 --> 00:38:08.720 that you were desperately trying to escape. 00:38:14.560 --> 00:38:19.000 Yeah. It's a lot, I know. 00:38:19.320 --> 00:38:21.557 It's okay. 00:38:21.640 --> 00:38:25.197 Now now you're starting to see 00:38:25.280 --> 00:38:31.440 the cause of the addiction, the home of the addiction. 00:38:32.480 --> 00:38:36.237 Yeah. Yeah. 00:38:36.320 --> 00:38:38.357 I just always trying to make 00:38:38.440 --> 00:38:42.277 people like me and feel safe around me. 00:38:42.360 --> 00:38:45.277 And then I say and do things and then 00:38:45.360 --> 00:38:49.677 like 10 minutes later be like, "Wait, why did I do that?" 00:38:49.760 --> 00:38:52.717 Uh But now but I but you're saying it's 00:38:52.800 --> 00:38:57.877 because it's because I was trying so desperately to prove that I wasn't bad. 00:38:57.960 --> 00:39:01.437 Yeah. Unconscious reaction. 00:39:01.520 --> 00:39:03.677 Meaning it's not something you believe. 00:39:03.760 --> 00:39:08.237 People talk about limiting beliefs. This is way below limiting beliefs. This is 00:39:08.320 --> 00:39:10.837 far deeper. You've heard me say it cuz you're 00:39:10.920 --> 00:39:12.757 familiar with my work. This is the you 00:39:12.840 --> 00:39:16.157 that you are for yourself. 00:39:16.240 --> 00:39:19.957 Philip isn't walking around believing he's bad. 00:39:20.040 --> 00:39:26.040 Right. >> Philip, in his own definition of himself, is bad. 00:39:29.960 --> 00:39:33.237 And that's why you can't see it. Yeah. 00:39:33.320 --> 00:39:35.637 I mean, look at the way you describe, 00:39:35.720 --> 00:39:40.077 defined Dr. Pepper, weed, sex, 00:39:40.160 --> 00:39:44.317 right, and junk food. How did you describe them? That you saw them. I 00:39:44.400 --> 00:39:48.077 said, "You create resistance cuz you think that they are 00:39:48.160 --> 00:39:54.240 bad. No surprise in the choice of words. 00:39:56.440 --> 00:40:01.637 Oh, and now I can see where I tried to make sex not bad cuz it's my wife. 00:40:01.720 --> 00:40:06.517 Right. That's >> [laughter] 00:40:06.600 --> 00:40:13.600 >> Okay. We don't see the way the world is, we see the way that we see the world. 00:40:13.880 --> 00:40:15.397 Yeah. 00:40:15.480 --> 00:40:18.357 Isn't that powerful? Yeah. 00:40:18.440 --> 00:40:21.477 It's not the world that we see, it's the 00:40:21.560 --> 00:40:23.797 way that we see. 00:40:23.880 --> 00:40:25.837 Now, if who you are is bad, so let's 00:40:25.920 --> 00:40:28.517 just take one let's just take let's stay 00:40:28.600 --> 00:40:31.037 as objective as possible. 00:40:31.120 --> 00:40:34.277 In the world of pure physics, 00:40:34.360 --> 00:40:38.637 is Dr. Pepper bad? No, it's just a drink. 00:40:38.720 --> 00:40:40.477 >> No, it's Dr. [__] Pepper. Yeah. 00:40:40.560 --> 00:40:42.580 >> [laughter] 00:40:43.280 --> 00:40:47.797 >> Right? Yeah. Yeah. So, what I want you to understand is and again, I'm not in 00:40:47.880 --> 00:40:52.197 any way dismissing the fact that like I don't you know, I don't promote sodas, 00:40:52.280 --> 00:40:56.317 you know, this is by no means a commercial for Dr. Pepper. They'll 00:40:56.400 --> 00:40:58.117 suddenly be reaching out to Peter Crone. 00:40:58.200 --> 00:41:02.597 We'd like to sponsor your podcast. I'm like, no, I'm not interested. 00:41:02.680 --> 00:41:04.707 My friend Philip told me you're bad. 00:41:04.790 --> 00:41:06.810 >> [laughter] 00:41:08.520 --> 00:41:12.677 >> No, but we we understand also in the realm of physics. Like let's take a more 00:41:12.760 --> 00:41:15.757 bigger example, okay, this might be harder and especially for the listening 00:41:15.840 --> 00:41:20.797 audience. Is heroin bad? 00:41:20.880 --> 00:41:24.437 No, right? >> No, it's heroin. Yeah. 00:41:24.520 --> 00:41:29.157 Now, I want you to be able to understand whether we take you know, a slightly 00:41:29.240 --> 00:41:31.117 more mild you know, substance like Dr. 00:41:31.200 --> 00:41:33.557 Pepper or heroin. I'm not saying that I 00:41:33.640 --> 00:41:38.637 suggest anybody do them. Everything in the world of karma, cause and effect, 00:41:38.720 --> 00:41:42.437 has impact. Everything. Sure. 00:41:42.520 --> 00:41:45.717 >> Right? Yeah. You know, you could say that the guy who goes to the gym who 00:41:45.800 --> 00:41:49.717 used to be an addict, who now goes to the gym for 3 hours a day and he jogs 00:41:49.800 --> 00:41:53.517 and he's training for like his fifth marathon of the year and it's only like 00:41:53.600 --> 00:41:56.477 coming up to the end of April whenever it is. Like 00:41:56.560 --> 00:41:59.477 that that might look like, oh, the dude's really fit. I would still say 00:41:59.560 --> 00:42:01.437 that he's being driven by an addiction. 00:42:01.520 --> 00:42:04.637 Do you see? Yeah. 00:42:04.720 --> 00:42:06.637 It's like Shakespeare said, nothing in 00:42:06.720 --> 00:42:08.957 nothing is either good nor bad, but only 00:42:09.040 --> 00:42:12.037 thinking makes Is so. Yeah. Yeah. 00:42:12.120 --> 00:42:16.597 >> Isn't that beautiful? Dude, yeah. In the realm of physics, you know, somebody 00:42:16.680 --> 00:42:20.197 like myself with a very sensitive constitution cuz I would like to declare 00:42:20.280 --> 00:42:22.357 that I take immaculate care of myself. 00:42:22.440 --> 00:42:23.957 If I were to drink two or three Dr. 00:42:24.040 --> 00:42:28.077 Peppers a day, it would definitely make a mess, you know, in what you know, it's 00:42:28.160 --> 00:42:32.317 just my I don't drink soda. I just don't want to touch it, right? So, but for 00:42:32.400 --> 00:42:36.757 somebody who's accustomed to it, maybe their body has adapted to the point that 00:42:36.840 --> 00:42:40.117 well, it doesn't have the same degree of impact. 00:42:40.200 --> 00:42:43.837 But, the cause and effects are over the long term, again, like smoking. If 00:42:43.920 --> 00:42:48.317 someone has got a constitution like an an ox, they might be able to smoke for 00:42:48.400 --> 00:42:52.477 decades and be okay. Somebody who's more sensitive, you know, they might develop, 00:42:52.560 --> 00:42:55.317 you know, lung cancer or, you know, whatever it is that they're going to 00:42:55.400 --> 00:42:57.397 develop. So, we want to stay in the 00:42:57.480 --> 00:43:00.597 realm of physics, right? Okay. Where 00:43:00.680 --> 00:43:04.797 people suffer is in the realm of perspective. 00:43:04.880 --> 00:43:07.797 Right? You're not a victim of circumstance. You're not a victim of, 00:43:07.880 --> 00:43:12.917 you know, sex, Dr. Pepper, junk food, and freaking marijuana. You're a victim 00:43:13.000 --> 00:43:15.557 of a perspective that you're looking through. 00:43:15.640 --> 00:43:19.717 So, is this why cuz I've noticed that often times I will turn to these things 00:43:19.800 --> 00:43:23.397 when things are great. I'll get out of an assembly with all 00:43:23.480 --> 00:43:26.317 these kids or a assisted living facility 00:43:26.400 --> 00:43:28.397 and I'm on cloud nine 00:43:28.480 --> 00:43:30.637 and then I want, you know, the double 00:43:30.720 --> 00:43:33.797 cheeseburger or the vape the THC vape. 00:43:33.880 --> 00:43:37.557 Is that Are you saying it's because innately there's a part of me that's 00:43:37.640 --> 00:43:39.477 like, oh, no, no, no, no, I'm bad, 00:43:39.560 --> 00:43:42.117 remember? Correct. We always have to 00:43:42.200 --> 00:43:45.637 think about the thermostat in a house. 00:43:45.720 --> 00:43:49.037 If the thermostat in a house is set to 70°, 00:43:49.120 --> 00:43:50.997 if it suddenly gets cold outside and it 00:43:51.080 --> 00:43:54.917 starts to drop to 68, 67, what will it 00:43:55.000 --> 00:43:59.157 do? It'll kick in and put it back to the 00:43:59.240 --> 00:44:02.797 Correct. Conversely, you know, if it gets too hot 00:44:02.880 --> 00:44:06.477 outside, it will turn on the AC and bring it back 00:44:06.560 --> 00:44:10.037 down. So, think of that in terms of the same 00:44:10.120 --> 00:44:14.077 for our own identity. The way that we've defined ourselves at a very deep 00:44:14.160 --> 00:44:16.717 subconscious level has to constantly be 00:44:16.800 --> 00:44:21.837 rectified. I see. Okay. 00:44:21.920 --> 00:44:25.397 So, you The good news is you're never going to get too far off, you know, like 00:44:25.480 --> 00:44:28.917 those substances can accumulate over time, like you know, 00:44:29.000 --> 00:44:32.637 somebody will say, "Oh, you know, weed is a gateway drug, right?" And then you 00:44:32.720 --> 00:44:36.637 become like you get into the heavier stuff as you go. But really the gateway 00:44:36.720 --> 00:44:40.117 drug is is this as I declared this ultimate addiction is the idea of 00:44:40.200 --> 00:44:44.517 yourself. So, sometimes it becomes slippery where and I don't want to get 00:44:44.600 --> 00:44:49.317 too into the linguistics of how these codes define personality. That's what I 00:44:49.400 --> 00:44:52.557 You know, for people who are interested, that's what I do in the mastermind. I 00:44:52.640 --> 00:44:55.757 know you're in freedom membership, right? But the mastermind is where I 00:44:55.840 --> 00:44:59.597 help people understand and I'm going to give like a little insight today. 00:44:59.680 --> 00:45:01.877 Most human beings in their identity are 00:45:01.960 --> 00:45:05.237 defined by something they're not. 00:45:05.320 --> 00:45:07.797 Now, what does that mean? I'm not good 00:45:07.880 --> 00:45:11.197 enough. I'm not loved. 00:45:11.280 --> 00:45:14.317 I'm not valued or worthy, right? Can you 00:45:14.400 --> 00:45:19.597 see that? Yeah. Yeah. When a human being's identity is defined by what 00:45:19.680 --> 00:45:22.557 we're not, our 00:45:22.640 --> 00:45:25.437 our compromise and coping strategy tends 00:45:25.520 --> 00:45:29.117 to be try and become that thing. 00:45:29.200 --> 00:45:32.997 To compensate. >> So, if I'm If I'm not good enough, I'm 00:45:33.080 --> 00:45:36.117 going to as a strategy for survival 00:45:36.200 --> 00:45:38.597 become a people pleaser, perfectionist, 00:45:38.680 --> 00:45:41.997 work hard as a an attempt to become 00:45:42.080 --> 00:45:44.677 enough. Do you see that? Yeah. Yeah. 00:45:44.760 --> 00:45:47.917 Make sense, right? It's logical. Right. 00:45:48.000 --> 00:45:51.597 With somebody like yourself, there's a shadow side of what I call these 00:45:51.680 --> 00:45:56.237 negations of self, which is well, I am something negative. 00:45:56.320 --> 00:46:01.760 So, the antithesis of I'm not good enough is I am bad. 00:46:01.880 --> 00:46:05.957 So, Philip's identity has fallen into the shadow side, which is why you 00:46:06.040 --> 00:46:10.637 struggled with it for so long, or it's manifesting in a way that will 00:46:10.720 --> 00:46:15.197 you know, you're 36, but over time that would lead to physiological issues and 00:46:15.280 --> 00:46:18.677 you know, you've got a beautiful doting wife and lovely kids. 00:46:18.760 --> 00:46:21.557 But for most people in the shadow side 00:46:21.640 --> 00:46:24.157 of a compromised 00:46:24.240 --> 00:46:26.397 constraint of oneself, there tends to be 00:46:26.480 --> 00:46:29.557 a lot of destruction, right? Divorce, 00:46:29.640 --> 00:46:34.997 sickness, disease, loss of jobs, all the things like that, right? Yeah. 00:46:35.080 --> 00:46:39.797 Yeah. Do you see? So, now So, 00:46:39.880 --> 00:46:42.837 why I'm so happy that you're here today and you clearly have such a beautiful 00:46:42.920 --> 00:46:44.397 powerful spirit, which is why you 00:46:44.480 --> 00:46:48.037 haven't cascaded too far down the I am 00:46:48.120 --> 00:46:50.917 bad, you know, route, which a lot of 00:46:51.000 --> 00:46:55.117 people when they're in that tend to fulfill on. 00:46:55.200 --> 00:46:59.037 So, what I want you to understand is first of all, you're doing a a hell of a 00:46:59.120 --> 00:47:03.277 job to have kicked the opioids and to still be making a huge difference for 00:47:03.360 --> 00:47:07.517 the homeless and the people that you, you know, touch, which is beautiful. So, 00:47:07.600 --> 00:47:09.277 I just want to acknowledge that, okay? 00:47:09.360 --> 00:47:12.677 Thanks, bro. Yeah, of course. So, 00:47:12.760 --> 00:47:14.957 but now you start to see, oh, if who you 00:47:15.040 --> 00:47:17.317 are, not what you believe, but who you 00:47:17.400 --> 00:47:20.717 are is that I am bad, 00:47:20.800 --> 00:47:22.797 you can now see the cascade, right? 00:47:22.880 --> 00:47:25.677 Yeah. Yeah. 00:47:25.760 --> 00:47:30.597 Yeah. Yeah. So, when my my daughters come to love on me, 00:47:30.680 --> 00:47:36.557 Yeah. it's it it's me saying, why are you loving someone bad? 00:47:36.640 --> 00:47:40.357 Is that what you think? >> make sense. Yeah. It doesn't resonate. 00:47:40.440 --> 00:47:44.957 It doesn't align. And so, your fundamental identity at the deepest 00:47:45.040 --> 00:47:47.197 level has to 00:47:47.280 --> 00:47:50.157 do something in order to prevail, to 00:47:50.240 --> 00:47:52.677 sustain itself. See, the ego of every 00:47:52.760 --> 00:47:55.917 human being fundamentally is fictitious. 00:47:56.000 --> 00:47:57.317 Right. 00:47:57.400 --> 00:48:00.597 Uh so, in for it to prevail, it has to 00:48:00.680 --> 00:48:04.397 keep finding evidence or create its own 00:48:04.480 --> 00:48:08.437 to exist. Isn't that nuts? 00:48:08.520 --> 00:48:13.237 Yeah. It's nuts, man. Yeah, and you wonder why people out 00:48:13.320 --> 00:48:16.917 there are [__] do you know, excuse my French, but you know, both sick and 00:48:17.000 --> 00:48:20.157 tired of being sick and tired, but they don't believe they have the life they 00:48:20.240 --> 00:48:23.957 want and they keep wondering why they the the self-fulfilling prophecy is 00:48:24.040 --> 00:48:27.677 leading to all of the discomfort and suffering that they have. Well, you're 00:48:27.760 --> 00:48:29.917 just constantly being right about your 00:48:30.000 --> 00:48:34.697 own identity. Yeah. 00:48:34.780 --> 00:48:38.277 >> [laughter] >> Bonkers, isn't it? Yeah, I've been so 00:48:38.360 --> 00:48:42.357 good at it though. Why here? 00:48:42.440 --> 00:48:46.077 Everybody's so good at being, you know, wrong about themselves. I mean, that's 00:48:46.160 --> 00:48:50.957 the human disposition. That is the insidious nature of what I call the 1.0 00:48:51.040 --> 00:48:55.197 mindset. That's why I've created the new operating system for humanity. 00:48:55.280 --> 00:48:59.237 To break out of the world of limitation, fear, suffering, disease, and scarcity. 00:48:59.320 --> 00:49:02.757 That is the world that we have. And then on top of that, we just have the myriad 00:49:02.840 --> 00:49:07.717 of forms of coping strategies and survival techniques to try and mitigate 00:49:07.800 --> 00:49:09.757 it. All of which do nothing but 00:49:09.840 --> 00:49:14.757 reinforce it. And you have the mad world [__] show of planet Earth that we 00:49:14.840 --> 00:49:16.117 currently have. 00:49:16.200 --> 00:49:18.757 So this is why I've had my spine fused 00:49:18.840 --> 00:49:22.317 after three surgeries is cuz I I keep 00:49:22.400 --> 00:49:27.157 I've constantly been in an environment where I've been living in a world where 00:49:27.240 --> 00:49:30.477 I'm bad and 00:49:30.560 --> 00:49:32.637 and my body's just been carrying that 00:49:32.720 --> 00:49:35.157 weight is what you're saying. Just an 00:49:35.240 --> 00:49:39.957 absolutely unnecessary burden from which you can never escape. 00:49:40.040 --> 00:49:44.787 Right. Yeah. 00:49:44.870 --> 00:49:47.557 >> [laughter] >> God. 00:49:47.640 --> 00:49:49.957 Oh, man, this is why I love you, bro. 00:49:50.040 --> 00:49:53.357 Dude, I'm telling you, man. Yes. Okay. 00:49:53.440 --> 00:49:56.877 Okay. So, that's level one there. So, now we're getting down to the deeper 00:49:56.960 --> 00:50:01.357 level. So, where was Philip born? Dude, I've been waiting for this for years, 00:50:01.440 --> 00:50:05.877 bro. Okay. [laughter] I was born in North Carolina, Peter. 00:50:05.960 --> 00:50:08.517 Okay. So, Philip, 00:50:08.600 --> 00:50:12.437 this is your moment. If I cut you open, 00:50:12.520 --> 00:50:15.997 am I going to find a physical manufacturing label, pick your material, 00:50:16.080 --> 00:50:17.957 wood, metal, plastic, that says on it, 00:50:18.040 --> 00:50:23.427 Philip, born in North Carolina, he is bad? 00:50:23.510 --> 00:50:28.017 >> [laughter] >> No, man. No, you won't. 00:50:28.100 --> 00:50:30.120 >> [laughter] 00:50:32.030 --> 00:50:35.797 [clears throat] [laughter] 00:50:35.880 --> 00:50:40.437 >> Oh, man. Go ahead. My bad. Go ahead. No, no, no. This is >> [laughter] 00:50:40.520 --> 00:50:44.640 >> My bad. Hey. 00:50:45.040 --> 00:50:47.517 Just got to help yourself. This guy. 00:50:47.600 --> 00:50:51.277 This guy. He's on fuego. >> Okay. Okay. No, man. No, you won't find 00:50:51.360 --> 00:50:53.797 it there. It's not in there. >> No, it's not part of his physiology, 00:50:53.880 --> 00:50:56.877 right? But we if we could read the genome, we'd understand your body 00:50:56.960 --> 00:51:00.117 constitution, your eye color, all the things, right? Somebody would be able to 00:51:00.200 --> 00:51:04.957 read that. So, where therefore does I'm bad exist? Because for over three 00:51:05.040 --> 00:51:09.077 decades, three and a half, it has dictated your thoughts, your feelings, 00:51:09.160 --> 00:51:11.877 your actions, and now these {quote} {unquote} addictions that you've been 00:51:11.960 --> 00:51:15.397 dealing with. So, where does the I'm bad live? 00:51:15.480 --> 00:51:17.957 In my head. In the conversation. 00:51:18.040 --> 00:51:21.277 Exactly. And where did that 00:51:21.360 --> 00:51:25.237 predominantly get formulated from? 00:51:25.320 --> 00:51:30.960 What what would you say was the most pivotal experience 00:51:32.760 --> 00:51:35.557 that you've already referenced and that I I I repeated for you? 00:51:35.640 --> 00:51:39.117 >> From the experience when I was when I was a teenager and experienced sexual 00:51:39.200 --> 00:51:41.957 abuse. >> Yeah. That you got probation and that you were 00:51:42.040 --> 00:51:44.077 basically {quote} {unquote} kicked out, 00:51:44.160 --> 00:51:47.757 shamed. Yeah. And that young boy 00:51:47.840 --> 00:51:52.437 then at that moment decided what that meant about him. 00:51:52.520 --> 00:51:56.517 Yeah. And that's when I started to do all the church stuff and got way into 00:51:56.600 --> 00:51:58.837 everything. Of course, which was the 00:51:58.920 --> 00:52:00.837 compensation, which is the logical 00:52:00.920 --> 00:52:03.557 progression because at the deepest level 00:52:03.640 --> 00:52:07.157 of who we are, we want to experience our 00:52:07.240 --> 00:52:12.197 essence, which is unity. Yeah. Yeah. 00:52:12.280 --> 00:52:14.157 So just as I said earlier, your nature 00:52:14.240 --> 00:52:16.597 is freedom. When you have resistance to 00:52:16.680 --> 00:52:19.957 in this case, you know, substances, your 00:52:20.040 --> 00:52:23.037 inherent freedom doesn't like not having 00:52:23.120 --> 00:52:26.237 freedom, so you're drawn to them. 00:52:26.320 --> 00:52:30.477 If you experience from your essence unity, but now you experience the 00:52:30.560 --> 00:52:33.597 feeling of separation or excommunication, 00:52:33.680 --> 00:52:38.357 what are you going to do? Try and get back to it. Of course. 00:52:38.440 --> 00:52:42.437 That's all any human being is doing. We want to experience our own divine 00:52:42.520 --> 00:52:44.677 essence of unity, which we can never 00:52:44.760 --> 00:52:49.800 access cuz we look through the illusion of a separate ego. 00:52:50.240 --> 00:52:51.717 >> [laughter] 00:52:51.800 --> 00:52:55.317 >> BRO, I'M TELLING YOU, MAN. YES. 00:52:55.400 --> 00:52:58.667 OH, get crowned, Phillip. Gosh. 00:52:58.750 --> 00:53:01.917 >> [laughter] >> So it lives in your head in what form? 00:53:02.000 --> 00:53:04.077 You said a conversation language, right? 00:53:04.160 --> 00:53:08.557 >> yes. In sound. In sound. It's literally So who you are is a divine essence of 00:53:08.640 --> 00:53:10.917 pure possibility, limitlessness, 00:53:11.000 --> 00:53:13.637 absolutely boundless potential that's 00:53:13.720 --> 00:53:17.037 being confined, imprisoned by sound. In 00:53:17.120 --> 00:53:20.917 this case, sound that who you are is bad. 00:53:21.000 --> 00:53:24.197 Yeah. So if it is just sound, if it is just 00:53:24.280 --> 00:53:26.357 language, it's literally words saying 00:53:26.440 --> 00:53:29.037 that you are bad, is it true that who 00:53:29.120 --> 00:53:32.357 you are is bad? 00:53:32.440 --> 00:53:34.317 No. 00:53:34.400 --> 00:53:39.997 Not at all. Oh, man. >> [laughter] 00:53:40.080 --> 00:53:42.637 >> Oh. 00:53:42.720 --> 00:53:48.877 Welcome to freedom, my man. [laughter] Thank you, bro. 00:53:48.960 --> 00:53:51.557 Oh. Just sit with it. You have been living 00:53:51.640 --> 00:53:54.277 in one of the most common, insidious, 00:53:54.360 --> 00:53:57.957 destructive lies. It's a lie. 00:53:58.040 --> 00:53:59.917 And what's so beautiful about you, I've 00:54:00.000 --> 00:54:05.757 never met anybody on this show who's so committed to truth. 00:54:05.840 --> 00:54:08.957 Thanks. >> why this is going to be just such a such 00:54:09.040 --> 00:54:12.597 a joyous transformation for you. Oh. 00:54:12.680 --> 00:54:17.117 Yeah. You You can't overcome a lie. 00:54:17.200 --> 00:54:19.880 Dude. 00:54:20.000 --> 00:54:25.717 Yeah. That's why I've been doing so much damn research. Good night. 00:54:25.800 --> 00:54:29.717 Oh. >> Yeah. And now I don't have to. 00:54:29.800 --> 00:54:34.800 >> [laughter] >> You can drink MORE DR. PEPPER. 00:54:37.120 --> 00:54:40.437 OH GOSH. I highly don't recommend it. 00:54:40.520 --> 00:54:45.077 But anyway, so But what's the difference now? If you did 00:54:45.160 --> 00:54:48.037 So now we want to make We want to make the collapse. Okay. 00:54:48.120 --> 00:54:51.837 >> If you were from this position of 00:54:51.920 --> 00:54:54.637 realizing that you're not bad, if you 00:54:54.720 --> 00:54:57.557 drank Dr. Pepper, what does that mean? 00:54:57.640 --> 00:55:00.497 It means I drank Dr. PEPPER. EXACTLY. 00:55:00.580 --> 00:55:02.600 [laughter] 00:55:05.680 --> 00:55:10.517 SO NOW GET THIS ONE. When your six and nine-year-old daughters come in and kiss 00:55:10.600 --> 00:55:14.637 you on the cheek, what now becomes available from this 00:55:14.720 --> 00:55:18.680 space? Oh. 00:55:19.160 --> 00:55:20.877 Oh. 00:55:20.960 --> 00:55:23.797 I can just receive their love. 00:55:23.880 --> 00:55:27.437 Yep. Oh. And I can kiss them back. 00:55:27.520 --> 00:55:30.877 Yep. Oh. 00:55:30.960 --> 00:55:33.477 They just got their dad today. 00:55:33.560 --> 00:55:39.600 Yeah. Isn't that special? 00:55:40.200 --> 00:55:44.157 Yeah, I was telling my wife Danny. I was like, I just know he's going to say go 00:55:44.240 --> 00:55:47.157 meet your daughters and I'm so ready for it. 00:55:47.240 --> 00:55:48.917 Yeah. 00:55:49.000 --> 00:55:50.637 I'd say go meet your daughters, go meet 00:55:50.720 --> 00:55:54.477 your wife, go meet your son. Yeah. 00:55:54.560 --> 00:55:57.797 I would I'm excited to meet myself. You know, I've been a good guy this whole 00:55:57.880 --> 00:56:00.900 time. >> [laughter] 00:56:02.160 --> 00:56:04.437 >> You really have. 00:56:04.520 --> 00:56:06.917 Such a good guy who tried so hard. He's 00:56:07.000 --> 00:56:09.597 such a good guy that he tried so hard to 00:56:09.680 --> 00:56:12.547 disprove his own lie that HE WAS BAD. 00:56:12.630 --> 00:56:14.650 >> [laughter] 00:56:18.120 --> 00:56:21.120 >> DUDE. 00:56:21.280 --> 00:56:26.957 OH MY GOSH, PETER. YES. DUDE, I got crowned, bro. 00:56:27.040 --> 00:56:29.037 >> [laughter] >> Yeah. Going to have to get you a 00:56:29.120 --> 00:56:33.717 t-shirt. I knew this was coming. We might have to do that for everyone who's 00:56:33.800 --> 00:56:38.597 on the show. Yeah. Oh, man. Yes, I get to meet my 00:56:38.680 --> 00:56:41.957 daughters. How special is that? 00:56:42.040 --> 00:56:48.840 As you, as the boundless, loving, beautiful soul that you truly are. 00:56:49.680 --> 00:56:55.400 Really feel it. Your nature is love. 00:56:56.120 --> 00:56:59.517 What's What's Tell everybody your motto? 00:56:59.600 --> 00:57:02.877 If no one else loves you, I do. 00:57:02.960 --> 00:57:05.797 Now, apply that to yourself. Yeah. 00:57:05.880 --> 00:57:08.240 God. 00:57:11.600 --> 00:57:15.517 You really You really had it. The way that you saw the world was nobody else 00:57:15.600 --> 00:57:18.277 loved you. How could they? You're bad. 00:57:18.360 --> 00:57:20.357 That's why I would go and visit people 00:57:20.440 --> 00:57:23.917 in jails and state the state prison. 00:57:24.000 --> 00:57:26.037 And I've wanted to do this 00:57:26.120 --> 00:57:27.677 I've wanted to do this this like one of 00:57:27.760 --> 00:57:31.037 my secret like dreams and goals is to 00:57:31.120 --> 00:57:33.397 create a non-profit 00:57:33.480 --> 00:57:35.917 where we have health professionals when 00:57:36.000 --> 00:57:40.717 the politician committed adultery or the teacher had inappropriate relations with 00:57:40.800 --> 00:57:44.557 the student or somebody killed somebody and all of society is looking at this 00:57:44.640 --> 00:57:48.877 person and judging them. And every time that happens all I can 00:57:48.960 --> 00:57:52.437 think to myself is I don't know but I this is a human 00:57:52.520 --> 00:57:57.717 being. How much How much were they hurting that they ruined their life like 00:57:57.800 --> 00:58:02.597 this? And so I think what what I hear you saying is the reason I 00:58:02.680 --> 00:58:06.677 was drawn to those people is because I was looking for myself. Both looking for 00:58:06.760 --> 00:58:11.237 yourself but also the beauty of the fact that you could recognize within them 00:58:11.320 --> 00:58:14.437 that which you were struggling with yourself. 00:58:14.520 --> 00:58:17.797 Yeah. And that's what bred compassion. 00:58:17.880 --> 00:58:22.277 I guarantee you as a generalization there's not anybody in prison that I've 00:58:22.360 --> 00:58:26.517 helped a lot and we gift a lot of my courses to inmates that doesn't think 00:58:26.600 --> 00:58:30.637 they're fundamentally bad. Society has confirmed it. 00:58:30.720 --> 00:58:33.997 But it's the chicken and the egg, which came first, right? I would assert that 00:58:34.080 --> 00:58:37.717 that soul incarnated with the story they were bad and then had to curate the 00:58:37.800 --> 00:58:41.797 events to confirm it. Frequency precedes form. That's how 00:58:41.880 --> 00:58:45.397 powerful we are. Didn't matter where you looked, Philip, 00:58:45.480 --> 00:58:48.757 you were always going to see bad. 00:58:48.840 --> 00:58:52.197 And then you try to compensate which of course is logical and because you're a 00:58:52.280 --> 00:58:55.477 beautiful soul and you didn't want to experience suffering, everybody as I 00:58:55.560 --> 00:58:57.237 said is trying to mitigate their own 00:58:57.320 --> 00:59:00.117 suffering. Oh, man. 00:59:00.200 --> 00:59:03.797 Yeah. And now where's the suffering? Oh, 00:59:03.880 --> 00:59:08.237 it was just a story. It's It's not even It isn't. 00:59:08.320 --> 00:59:13.197 So then who needs marijuana? Who needs Dr. Pepper? Who needs junk food? 00:59:13.280 --> 00:59:17.197 Oh. And even if you have it periodically cuz 00:59:17.280 --> 00:59:20.837 there may still be what I call karmic momentum in your physiology, meaning 00:59:20.920 --> 00:59:24.757 your physiology like, you know, when people have a lot of imbalances in their 00:59:24.840 --> 00:59:27.757 gut, they might be drawn to certain foods. You know, when women go through 00:59:27.840 --> 00:59:31.357 pregnancy, there are certain inclinations towards tastes and you 00:59:31.440 --> 00:59:35.357 know, so your physiology might still inform a habit. 00:59:35.440 --> 00:59:38.997 But now you get to have conscious choice. 00:59:39.080 --> 00:59:41.117 Is choosing Dr. Pepper junk food 00:59:41.200 --> 00:59:44.637 marijuana in Philip's best interest when 00:59:44.720 --> 00:59:49.517 who he sees himself to be is this boundless limitless being who warrants 00:59:49.600 --> 00:59:53.557 love? Who is love? Of course not. Yeah. 00:59:53.640 --> 00:59:57.437 Exactly. But now it's a choice as opposed to before it was an unconscious 00:59:57.520 --> 01:00:02.277 reaction. Right. >> Which had its own undeniable momentum 01:00:02.360 --> 01:00:05.597 that was very hard to overcome. Some people do it with willpower. You managed 01:00:05.680 --> 01:00:07.837 to do that with your opioids. 01:00:07.920 --> 01:00:13.597 But you can never over time overcome that which is persistently there. 01:00:13.680 --> 01:00:14.837 That's what I said, you know, you can 01:00:14.920 --> 01:00:16.277 never get something of enough of 01:00:16.360 --> 01:00:20.757 something that almost works. Yeah. Yeah. 01:00:20.840 --> 01:00:22.957 But now you get to make a choice for 01:00:23.040 --> 01:00:25.877 yourself from love. 01:00:25.960 --> 01:00:28.517 Right. I get to take care of me. 01:00:28.600 --> 01:00:34.837 What a novel thought. >> [laughter] >> Yeah, cuz I'm the good guy. I'm a good 01:00:34.920 --> 01:00:36.917 guy. >> [__] A. 01:00:37.000 --> 01:00:38.997 Been a good guy the whole time. 01:00:39.080 --> 01:00:42.877 You have. And just And just because this 01:00:42.960 --> 01:00:48.157 is an important distinction that will give you power. 01:00:48.240 --> 01:00:49.797 You have been a good guy all the time. 01:00:49.880 --> 01:00:55.397 You are a good guy and and not or or but 01:00:55.480 --> 01:00:57.917 by virtue of being human you have the 01:00:58.000 --> 01:01:03.237 capacity to experience yourself as bad and act 01:01:03.320 --> 01:01:07.357 accordingly. I see. Okay, yeah. Yeah. 01:01:07.440 --> 01:01:12.677 I It's important that we integrate that versus dismiss it. So that like you 01:01:12.760 --> 01:01:15.917 said, if there's karmic momentum if something happens, I don't fall into a 01:01:16.000 --> 01:01:19.477 cycle of ah See I I [__] up. I need to be crowned 01:01:19.560 --> 01:01:23.037 again. I'm such a bad guy. I knew I couldn't keep it up. All of those 01:01:23.120 --> 01:01:25.797 stories would only be reinforcing the 01:01:25.880 --> 01:01:30.837 underlying bad that you haven't incorporated or included. 01:01:30.920 --> 01:01:33.317 Right. Okay. >> Can you feel the power in that? Because 01:01:33.400 --> 01:01:35.037 otherwise, if you walk around now Philip 01:01:35.120 --> 01:01:37.317 as a good guy, you leave yourself 01:01:37.400 --> 01:01:40.517 ironically more vulnerable again. Cuz no 01:01:40.600 --> 01:01:43.277 one can sustain that. Right. Right. 01:01:43.360 --> 01:01:47.677 Okay. Yeah. Okay. That makes sense. 01:01:47.760 --> 01:01:49.157 So, the way I would say to the deep 01:01:49.240 --> 01:01:52.957 energetic level is who you are is love. 01:01:53.040 --> 01:01:55.717 And love makes space for all of it. 01:01:55.800 --> 01:01:57.837 Yeah. 01:01:57.920 --> 01:02:01.037 Yeah. Dude, you talk my language, bro. 01:02:01.120 --> 01:02:05.317 Yes, love. Yes. When you go into these 01:02:05.400 --> 01:02:08.877 incarceration facilities or you see homeless, you don't judge them, do you? 01:02:08.960 --> 01:02:12.077 No. No, but objectively the way that they've 01:02:12.160 --> 01:02:16.277 ended up where they are is because of consequences and actions that, you know, 01:02:16.360 --> 01:02:18.237 according to society aren't agreed upon 01:02:18.320 --> 01:02:20.717 or they're frowned upon, right? But you 01:02:20.800 --> 01:02:23.557 come in with no judgment. Because in 01:02:23.640 --> 01:02:28.277 that relationship, you're making space for their indiscretions. You're making 01:02:28.360 --> 01:02:30.517 space for their shortcomings. You're 01:02:30.600 --> 01:02:34.557 making space for their humanity. Yeah. 01:02:34.640 --> 01:02:38.840 Now you get to make space for Philip's. 01:02:38.960 --> 01:02:41.597 So, now I'm going to blow another part of your mind. Are you ready? 01:02:41.680 --> 01:02:44.117 >> Dude, I'm ready, man. 01:02:44.200 --> 01:02:49.520 You never, ever wanted to be healed. 01:02:51.480 --> 01:02:53.837 Because there was nothing to be healed. 01:02:53.920 --> 01:02:56.597 You just wanted to be held. 01:02:56.680 --> 01:03:00.277 For your imperfections. 01:03:00.360 --> 01:03:04.317 That 14-year-old, wherever you were and you had this big, you know, brouhaha 01:03:04.400 --> 01:03:07.037 scene and you were put on probation and 01:03:07.120 --> 01:03:09.957 all the things, that 14-year-old wanted 01:03:10.040 --> 01:03:14.357 somebody to hold him and say, "It's okay. 01:03:14.440 --> 01:03:17.837 You're not bad for what happened." And in fact, it took, you know, as you said, 01:03:17.920 --> 01:03:22.637 17 years later whenever you're 31 and a therapist said, "No, you were abused." 01:03:22.720 --> 01:03:24.317 That was the first time you got a 01:03:24.400 --> 01:03:30.320 glimpse of like, "Oh, I didn't do anything wrong." Yeah. 01:03:30.560 --> 01:03:33.077 So again, your journey for healing 01:03:33.160 --> 01:03:36.357 perpetuates what? The idea that there's 01:03:36.440 --> 01:03:41.370 something to be healed. >> [laughter] 01:03:46.000 --> 01:03:49.637 >> Oh, man, Peter. 01:03:49.720 --> 01:03:54.437 Oh. I I So, okay. I was going to say I am 01:03:54.520 --> 01:03:57.837 healed, but that would just perpetuate that I was broken. 01:03:57.920 --> 01:04:02.677 I'm just I am. You are. And then depending on what lens you look 01:04:02.760 --> 01:04:04.197 through based on the narratives and the 01:04:04.280 --> 01:04:05.957 stories that we typically curate from 01:04:06.040 --> 01:04:11.597 our childhood, we will form a life to represent that. 01:04:11.680 --> 01:04:14.997 So if you're always looking to be healed, then you must say fundamentally 01:04:15.080 --> 01:04:17.917 there's something wrong with you. No, you went through what you went through 01:04:18.000 --> 01:04:20.277 and by the way, it's already finished. 01:04:20.360 --> 01:04:23.157 Right. It happened forever ago. 01:04:23.240 --> 01:04:27.957 22 years ago you had this moment with this 40-year-old woman. 22 like 01:04:28.040 --> 01:04:31.397 even physiologically, you're not the same 01:04:31.480 --> 01:04:35.357 person as you were when you started this conversation cuz cells have died and new 01:04:35.440 --> 01:04:38.077 ones have been born. 01:04:38.160 --> 01:04:42.957 That 14-year-old, with all due respect, he died, you know, 22 years ago. 01:04:43.040 --> 01:04:49.360 You're just holding on to the story as evidence to sustain your ego's identity. 01:04:50.920 --> 01:04:54.837 Yeah. It's got What What What does literally 01:04:54.920 --> 01:04:59.117 literally What does what you went through when you were 14 have to do with today? 01:04:59.200 --> 01:05:03.157 Nothing. Nothing. Now we can embrace the human 01:05:03.240 --> 01:05:05.397 part, which is it had everything to do 01:05:05.480 --> 01:05:07.117 with your identity until we just 01:05:07.200 --> 01:05:11.197 revealed it, which was it confirmed 01:05:11.280 --> 01:05:15.237 a story that you were bad, that you're dirty, there's something wrong with you. 01:05:15.320 --> 01:05:18.717 You know, we didn't go through all of them cuz they're bedfellows to me. 01:05:18.800 --> 01:05:23.117 But they're all sort of associated, they're relative, right? Yeah. Yeah. 01:05:23.200 --> 01:05:27.357 Being bad, dirty for what happened, there's something wrong with you. I 01:05:27.440 --> 01:05:31.477 would throw in you're not wanted, right, which is being sort of discarded from 01:05:31.560 --> 01:05:35.117 the church. So you can write all of these I mean 01:05:35.200 --> 01:05:38.157 this is recorded, you can watch it, but I I just want to share them with you so 01:05:38.240 --> 01:05:41.717 you can investigate the same process I took you through which is is it true 01:05:41.800 --> 01:05:44.917 that you're bad? No. Is it true that you're not wanted? No. Is it true that 01:05:45.000 --> 01:05:48.397 you're dirty? No. Do you see? Is it true there's something wrong with you? No, 01:05:48.480 --> 01:05:52.037 they're all lies. But they are all the fundamental 01:05:52.120 --> 01:05:54.717 addiction that was the precursor to the 01:05:54.800 --> 01:05:57.437 solutions you found to mitigate 01:05:57.520 --> 01:06:01.037 suffering. Wow, yes. 01:06:01.120 --> 01:06:03.317 And in the absence of those, my friend, 01:06:03.400 --> 01:06:08.837 if it's not true that you're not wanted, if it's not true 01:06:08.920 --> 01:06:12.557 that there's something wrong with you, if there's not true that you're bad, and 01:06:12.640 --> 01:06:16.197 if it's not true that you're dirty, they're all gone, 01:06:16.280 --> 01:06:18.677 you literally don't have those ways of 01:06:18.760 --> 01:06:24.240 relating to yourself. Who does Philip get to be? 01:06:27.680 --> 01:06:30.877 >> [laughter] >> I don't even know, man. 01:06:30.960 --> 01:06:32.957 It's so exciting. >> That's a very accurate answer. Yeah, you 01:06:33.040 --> 01:06:36.437 don't cuz I'm introducing you to a world with which you're not familiar. Welcome 01:06:36.520 --> 01:06:40.597 to 2.0 world, my friend. >> Yeah. Wow. 01:06:40.680 --> 01:06:44.997 Oh. Now I just want to write. I've been dealing with writer's block, but now I 01:06:45.080 --> 01:06:47.997 just Well, I'll tell you what right now, whatever it is that you do, and again, 01:06:48.080 --> 01:06:49.917 I'm not familiar with music, it just got 01:06:50.000 --> 01:06:52.797 exponentially more powerful. Oh, 01:06:52.880 --> 01:06:58.037 [__] Can you feel that? Yeah. Yeah. And here's a really funny thing 01:06:58.120 --> 01:07:01.557 that I want you to understand and I can't categorically say is true. My 01:07:01.640 --> 01:07:04.157 guess is because when we shift our 01:07:04.240 --> 01:07:05.677 internal terrain, the way we view 01:07:05.760 --> 01:07:08.637 ourselves, and the fundamental 01:07:08.720 --> 01:07:11.677 way that we relate to who we are, like 01:07:11.760 --> 01:07:13.917 your energetic signature has shifted 01:07:14.000 --> 01:07:17.797 today. That informs your physiology. 01:07:17.880 --> 01:07:21.957 So, I've worked with people who may have been addicted to cigarettes for 40 01:07:22.040 --> 01:07:26.557 years. We had someone in my mastermind who smoked 120 cigarettes a day. 01:07:26.640 --> 01:07:30.317 After our conversation, that next week she had three, and the week after she 01:07:30.400 --> 01:07:32.317 hasn't touched a cigarette again. 01:07:32.400 --> 01:07:32.797 Wow. 01:07:32.880 --> 01:07:36.037 >> Because her physiology, the form that is 01:07:36.120 --> 01:07:39.397 informed by your view of yourself, now 01:07:39.480 --> 01:07:42.077 is going to have different 01:07:42.160 --> 01:07:46.557 proclivities, different tendencies, different uh preferences. 01:07:46.640 --> 01:07:50.797 So, I wouldn't be surprised, again, I don't know, it may not be instant, that 01:07:50.880 --> 01:07:53.357 your body no longer even wants 01:07:53.440 --> 01:07:56.397 marijuana, it doesn't like the taste of 01:07:56.480 --> 01:08:01.597 Dr. Pepper, and it certainly would never drive through a McDonald's drive 01:08:01.680 --> 01:08:05.197 drive-by. Yeah. Do you know 01:08:05.280 --> 01:08:10.077 >> Yeah. Do you Can you see that? Because Because your your your physical form as 01:08:10.160 --> 01:08:13.157 an extension of your energetic signature, 01:08:13.240 --> 01:08:17.117 it it doesn't align anymore. It's like it's physically impossible, not 01:08:17.200 --> 01:08:19.397 physically impossible, but for me to go 01:08:19.480 --> 01:08:24.317 into like a fast food place. Like it does it doesn't align with who I am in 01:08:24.400 --> 01:08:29.157 the way that I view myself, or the way that I revere the opportunity that is to 01:08:29.240 --> 01:08:31.157 be me as a human being. 01:08:31.240 --> 01:08:34.517 Right. It doesn't align anymore. Yeah. 01:08:34.600 --> 01:08:38.637 Do you see? Yeah. So, no longer those things no longer not 01:08:38.720 --> 01:08:40.557 bad, they never were, they were just the 01:08:40.640 --> 01:08:45.757 extension of the bad through which you viewed yourself. 01:08:45.840 --> 01:08:49.757 They They're just something that probably won't even resonate with the 01:08:49.840 --> 01:08:54.917 frequency, albeit only like 10, 20, 15 minutes old, but as you continue to 01:08:55.000 --> 01:09:00.437 embody that, you won't be drawn to substances like that. 01:09:00.520 --> 01:09:04.077 Yeah. That makes sense. >> is that? Dude, that's awesome. That's 01:09:04.160 --> 01:09:08.997 what I wanted. Like I just want to drink water and eat produce and be healthy and 01:09:09.080 --> 01:09:12.237 feel good. Yeah. But I didn't want that before. 01:09:12.320 --> 01:09:16.197 Like I wanted it, but I didn't I I craved something different. And you're 01:09:16.280 --> 01:09:21.597 saying now with the new me, a new energy, a new frequency, that 01:09:21.680 --> 01:09:24.957 those things will just be not even relevant anymore because now I'm just a 01:09:25.040 --> 01:09:27.677 different person. >> You won't even attract them into your 01:09:27.760 --> 01:09:31.720 field because it's not who you be. 01:09:32.080 --> 01:09:34.117 It would. Yeah. 01:09:34.200 --> 01:09:39.277 >> And and again, just to make space for the phenomenal being you are, if 01:09:39.360 --> 01:09:42.157 occasionally there might be this like, "You know what? [__] it. You're out with 01:09:42.240 --> 01:09:43.677 the family. I'm going to have a Dr. 01:09:43.760 --> 01:09:46.997 Pepper." And you haven't had one for a month or a few weeks. Like who cares? It 01:09:47.080 --> 01:09:49.437 doesn't have to know be bad. Do you know 01:09:49.520 --> 01:09:51.477 what I'm saying? Yeah, just is. 01:09:51.560 --> 01:09:54.240 It just is. 01:09:55.520 --> 01:09:59.077 Yes. I was going to say how do you feel, but 01:09:59.160 --> 01:10:01.797 I think it's pretty much Dude, you're 01:10:01.880 --> 01:10:06.397 the freaking man, bro. I love you so much, bro. Thank you. 01:10:06.480 --> 01:10:10.397 Thank you. You're a sweetheart. I I just feel so 01:10:10.480 --> 01:10:13.637 blessed to get to do what I get to do, especially with people like you who 01:10:13.720 --> 01:10:17.037 showed up, you know, borderline only an hour ago, who thought 01:10:17.120 --> 01:10:19.637 that there was something wrong with them, they were bad, they're broken, 01:10:19.720 --> 01:10:23.797 they have addictive problems, and had all sorts of shame and guilt to the 01:10:23.880 --> 01:10:28.397 absolute boundless joy that is now evident in every cell of your body. I 01:10:28.480 --> 01:10:30.637 mean, what a gift. 01:10:30.720 --> 01:10:34.517 Dude, yes. Oh. 01:10:34.600 --> 01:10:38.757 Yeah, you are a sweetheart, and the world just became a much brighter place 01:10:38.840 --> 01:10:41.957 because >> Oh. Philip didn't try and heal himself 01:10:42.040 --> 01:10:47.597 anymore. He held the part of him that got hurt once. Which everybody can relate to. 01:10:47.680 --> 01:10:50.917 And that's going to make you not only a better husband, a better father, a 01:10:51.000 --> 01:10:55.757 better friend, a better musician, and the people whose lives you've yet to 01:10:55.840 --> 01:10:59.117 touch, that don't even know you exist, I just want to acknowledge you for the 01:10:59.200 --> 01:11:03.197 difference you're going to make that you don't even know yet. 01:11:03.280 --> 01:11:05.677 Dude, thank you, Peter. Thank you. 01:11:05.760 --> 01:11:09.037 There's not one human being alive, you know, of the millions who will get to 01:11:09.120 --> 01:11:13.117 listen to this, who don't have their own form of addiction. It may not manifest 01:11:13.200 --> 01:11:17.437 in choosing substances as a solution to mitigate suffering, but it is 01:11:17.520 --> 01:11:21.037 nonetheless the addiction to thinking that they're not loved, that they're 01:11:21.120 --> 01:11:24.397 they're worthless, that they're not safe, that nobody loves them, that 01:11:24.480 --> 01:11:27.957 they're not going to be okay. And so, thank you for your courage and 01:11:28.040 --> 01:11:32.917 vulnerability, your absolute beauty of spirit that allowed you to share things 01:11:33.000 --> 01:11:35.677 that are going to touch the lives of millions of people in their own form of 01:11:35.760 --> 01:11:39.797 addiction that I hope after this conversation, they now get to transcend 01:11:39.880 --> 01:11:43.117 and see as a fundamental lie and that beneath that 01:11:43.200 --> 01:11:47.957 is the pure love, freedom, possibility of the essence of 01:11:48.040 --> 01:11:51.970 who we all are. >> [music] 01:12:00.430 --> 01:12:02.450 [music]