# Every Time You Try to Fix Yourself You Make It Worse.

*Peter Crone* · https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pzquUxMSFdA

## Summary

In this episode, life coach Peter Crone works with Philip, a musician, father of five, and former Mormon missionary who struggles with daily marijuana, Dr. Pepper, junk food, and compulsive sexual release. Philip shares a painful history: his mother died in a car accident when he was 19 months old, he experienced physical abuse, and he was groomed and sexually abused by a woman in her 40s at age 14, after which his church put him on probation. Crone reframes Philip's addictions not as problems but as solutions to underlying suffering, tracing them to a subconscious identity of 'I am bad' formed at age 14. By guiding Philip to see that this identity is just language and not truth, Crone helps him realize he was never bad, never needed healing, and can now receive his daughters' love.

## Key points

- Crone argues that addictions like marijuana, Dr. Pepper, junk food, and sex are not the problem but the solution to internal suffering.
- Philip's core subconscious identity, formed when he was put on church probation at 14 after being sexually abused, was 'I am bad.'
- Crone explains that resistance to something exacerbates the desire for it because our essence is freedom.
- Philip compensated for feeling bad by over-serving in his church, memorizing scriptures, and people-pleasing, which only reinforced the underlying belief.
- Crone points out that 'I am bad' exists only as sound and language in the head, not in Philip's physiology, so it is a lie.
- Philip's anger when his young daughters showed him love was because their love didn't align with his identity as a bad person.
- Crone tells Philip he never wanted to be healed because there was nothing to heal; he wanted to be held for his imperfections.
- Crone predicts that as Philip's self-view shifts, his physiology may naturally lose its craving for marijuana, Dr. Pepper, and junk food.
- Philip has been opioid-free since December 2023, which Crone acknowledges as a significant achievement.

## Notes

### Overview
This is a coaching session between Peter Crone and Philip, a 36-year-old musician, husband, and father of five who has listened to Crone's work for two years. Philip came seeking help with what he calls his addictions: daily marijuana, three to four Dr. Peppers a day, junk food, and sexual release five to six times a day, all followed by shame.

### Philip's Background
- Philip's biological mother died in a car accident when he was 19 months old; his 6-month-old brother suffered serious brain damage.
- He grew up in a Mormon household with eight kids, experiencing physical abuse, including a broken collarbone at age three or four, hunger, and bed-wetting.
- At 13 he was groomed by a woman in her 40s, leading to a sexual experience at 14. She confessed to church leaders, and Philip was put on probation, barred from taking the sacrament or praying publicly.
- At 31, a trauma therapist told him he had been abused and could not consent, which reframed decades of guilt.

### Crone's Core Teachings
- **Addictions are solutions, not problems.** Substances are unconscious reactions to escape internal suffering; every mammal tries to escape suffering.
- **Resistance increases desire.** Because our essence is freedom, telling ourselves we can't have something draws us toward it.
- **The ultimate addiction is the idea of ourselves.** Philip's identity was 'I am bad,' formed at 14 during church probation.
- **Compensation reinforces the belief.** Philip's excessive church service and people-pleasing were attempts to prove he wasn't bad, which only reinforced that he was.
- **'I am bad' is just sound and language.** It exists in the head, not in physiology, so it is a lie that cannot be overcome—only seen through.

### Key Shifts
- Philip realizes his anger when his daughters kissed him was because their love didn't align with his identity as bad.
- Crone states Philip never wanted to be healed—there was nothing to heal—he wanted to be held for his imperfections.
- Crone predicts Philip's physiology may naturally stop craving marijuana, Dr. Pepper, and junk food as his self-view shifts.
- Crone emphasizes integrating rather than dismissing the capacity to feel bad, so a future slip doesn't restart the old story.

### Related Beliefs Identified
Crone lists associated lies Philip can investigate: 'I'm bad,' 'I'm dirty,' 'I'm not wanted,' 'There's something wrong with me.'

## Transcript

[00:00] You never ever wanted to be healed. I want to feel healed. I just I just want to be, you know, >> [music] >> I want to stop uh I want to stop running. I can feel where I'm not taking [music] care of myself and I'm I'm eating food that makes me sick. It's a self-soothing like five, six times in a day. And then I have all this shame around it. >> What I want you to realize, Philip, none of those are the problem. They are the [music] solution. I just want to be happy. Your nature is freedom. But you're psychologically, emotionally telling yourself that you can't do something, then because of our nature of freedom, the inclination is towards that. That's the frustrating thing is that I'm I'm having this new

[00:45] awareness and I have moments where I feel bliss and beauty and I write these songs and everything makes sense. Most human beings in their identity are defined by something they're not. I'm not good enough. I'm not loved. I'm not valued. I feel the one of the most pivotal moments that has defined Philip's persona is Dude, I'm just I'm cracking up, man. When I when I got the email from Cambria, I brought my whole family and all the kids and I read the email and my 11-year-old was like, "Dad, you're about to get crowned. For real." And that's what we say in our house and we'll watch highlights and I'll be like, "Babe, come watch this Danica Patrick. She's about to get crowned. Watch this." And my my daughter my 14-year-old be

[01:38] like, "She got crowned. Get crowned." It's like a thing in our house. I love it. It sounds like you have a lot of fun in that house. I'm really really I'm just touched and flattered that uh my work has meant that much to you. You obviously have such a a spirit. I know you're not without your challenges and we'll get to that today and I I appreciate the video you submitted which everybody does, you know, prior to coming on the on the show and I just feel very fortunate that you know such lovely beautiful bright souls like yourself have found my work and it's it's helped in whatever way it has and let's see if we can't do a little bit of fine-tuning, shall we? Yeah, dude. Yeah. Please, dude. And I I definitely love

[02:26] the fact that your kids are using the expression you got croned. Yeah. They're like get croned, Dad. Get croned. This is going to be a one off. Yeah. on YouTube and my son will be like get croned. Get croned. Get croned. We're now going to have to start a hashtag. #gotcroned. Yes, dude. It's like not got milk, but it's got [laughter] croned. Got croned. Yeah, dude. Amazing. I've gone on so many walks with you, bro, just listening to every podcast I can get my hands on. I think I first heard you on the know thyself. Oh, yeah. Okay. >> 90 seconds in, dude, I've been looking. I've been looking. >> [clears throat] >> I've been looking, man. And uh then I find you who's like yeah it's not outside of you and I'm LIKE UH

[03:19] GOSH. IT'S JUST BEEN AMAZING, DUDE, for 2 years now just going on walks and listening to your podcasts, your interviews and and I teach a home school group that I volunteered to teach and I work with the homeless and I just and I speak at schools and I've been trying to teach your teachings and I've been trying to convey what you convey and yeah, so this is just a gift. So, thank you. Well, thank you. You are clearly a very beautiful joyous spirit and I think this is going to be a wonderful conversation. Thank you for the kind words. Thank you for including me in your family, in your community, the work that you do with others. Obviously it shows the size of your heart. And um I know that you're a musician and one of

[04:08] the things that really touched me about the video you submitted is that you said your motto and see see if I can remember it cuz I know you're very kind in the way you remember my quotes, but it's like if nobody loves you, I do or something like that. Yeah, if no one else loves you, I do. That's my motto. >> Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's that's pretty damn evident from the start of this conversation. So um I've got a little inclination that maybe just maybe some of that love could be potentially redirected towards yourself, but let's see how we do. Does that make sense? Yeah, that does make sense. Yeah. >> Yeah. So tell me I I for the you know, beautiful millions of people out there in the world who hopefully your story

[04:52] will touch cuz this video and all of these episodes just seem to be getting exponentially more uh um momentum, which is really touching cuz I know it's changing people's lives and I just want to first of all acknowledge you for coming on here, wanting to have a conversation and share your story cuz as human beings I believe that one of the things uh that changes um our lives more than anything is learning and vicariously experiencing other people's stories, woes, and breakthroughs. So give for myself as a refresher bit, I just watched your video again and the viewing audience just a little bit of uh you know, background on Phillip and the things you struggle with cuz I know like all of us it hasn't been that easy.

[05:38] Yeah, thank you, man. Thank you. Um I've honestly had like a magical life, bro. Um I've had so many miracles in my life, so many good things happen. Um >> Yeah. And uh and which is kind of been the frustrating part of this healing journey is being aware that with Anyways. Yeah, so when I was really little, we were in a car accident. I was 19 months old. Well, with me and my couple of of my brothers and our mom passed in that car accident. Your brothers passed, too? Or no, they were okay? Just my mom. My baby brother was in the front seat. He was 6 months old. This was back in '91, so the the seating laws were different. And he had serious brain damage, so he was They thought he'd be a vegetable. I

[06:26] mean, he's a whole miracle story, but he was really badly damaged. We He stayed in the hospital when we went to Oklahoma to bury mom. Mhm. And uh I don't remember the car accident now, but my mom who adopted me told me that I would tell her what happened in the car and that um you know, that mom's head was down and that her eyes were like blinking a lot. And so I don't remember that, but for a time, I guess I remembered it cuz my mom who adopted me would say, "Yeah, you would you told me this happened." And I do remember going to court because we had to demonstrate that we could unbuckle ourselves cuz that was part of the court proceedings was why were the kids unbuckled? And you know, the other

[07:12] side trying to find fault with with our mom, I guess. So that was an experience and then my dad remarried. And the woman he had married he married adopted me and my brothers. Mhm. Um she's an amazing woman. Um but it was really difficult in that household cuz my my dad had five boys and then his wife passed and he remarries and he he adopted his new wife's daughter who became my sister. And she adopted me and my brothers. And then they had two more daughters together. So there was eight kids total. >> Wow. Okay. And I'm the fifth >> you and you and two You were the youngest? No, I was the fourth of the five boys. >> Oh, I got it. Got it. Okay. But [clears throat] but you're So when the car accident, there were two

[07:59] brothers and the other two were just at home or school or whatever. >> One was at school and one was with a babysitter, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So carry on. So big family. Yeah, big family and you know, um my mom and my dad did the best they could. I mean, I look back and they're just My dad's so hard working. He was a bishop in our church from when I was in kindergarten to high school. Mhm. Always working. My mom always making sure we had meals and I always had birthday presents and Christmas presents and new clothes for school. Um but as I look back on my on my childhood, it was beautiful and I had a great childhood, but I know looking back when I was a kid, I was very scared a lot. Um There is There was physical abuse in the

[08:45] home. Um When I was three and a half or four, um there was an experience with my mom where I was pushed down the stairs and my collarbone broke. Um by your mom by the Okay. Yeah, by by yeah, by my mom. So the physical abuse came from the parents, older brothers, both? Yeah, from my mom, yeah. Okay. Okay. Sorry. Um No, that's okay. Uh And uh I just I remember I mean, there's so many there's so many good things to remember, too. Like But I I went to bed. I I remember I'd wake up cold. Sometimes I'd wrap up in the in the uh um It's okay. It's okay. I remember waking up in the middle of the night a lot looking for something dry to sleep in. So, I tried either the shower curtain or um like we had this cover on our couch

[09:43] that was too big for the couch. So, sometimes I'd go wrap up in that. Um Yeah. Really just a you know, a busy life, a lot of things, a lot of great things in life. Like my childhood was beautiful in so many ways. But, I do remember as a kid just kind of surviving and um Yeah. hungry a lot. Um One time I had snuck, this crazy drawer where we'd put leftover um ketchup packets or barbecue sauce packets from McDonald's. Mhm. And one time I had gotten caught sneaking those in the bathroom and I would eat eat the barbecue sauce and I'd put it in the laundry hamper. >> [laughter] >> Good luck What better way to destroy the evidence? >> Yeah, I mean, just genius. >> [laughter] >> Uh and I got in pretty big trouble for

[10:34] that. Um Yeah, especially if it was with the whites. >> [laughter] >> Yeah. Barbecue sauce. >> [laughter] >> Yeah. Um we grew up I grew up in a Mormon home which had had its beautiful parts in so many ways, you know. >> Mhm. Um but definitely a lot of high standards. Yeah. Um The other thing that was that was really difficult when I was 13, looking back now I can see what was happening. I was being groomed by a woman uh in her 40s um who was Just a friend of the family or Yeah. [snorts] Okay. And she would touch me um and then it it eventually led when I was 14, there was a um a a sexual experience Mhm. that I I didn't I didn't understand as a 14-year-old. Yeah. She went and confessed to our local church leaders

[11:31] and they brought me in and I was put on what's called probation. So, I wasn't allowed to take the sacrament. I wasn't allowed to pray in public. Um So, I just remember feeling really sick. Like, I didn't want to eat. Um I just felt really guilty. Um Uh And then uh and then I went on a mission for my church. Mhm. Um cuz I really believed it. I I I really felt like and I can see now where by doing things in the church, it would get the approval of my community, my parents, my family. Yeah. Um and I gave it everything I had and I and I and I believed in it and I really felt like the best thing I can do for the world is go knock doors and help people and give them this message. And um it was on my mission where I first

[12:27] hurt my back. And it wasn't even a big deal. I was just jumping over a ditch and I felt something in my back and I came home and I had my first back surgery. Um And then, you know, I I married my high school sweetheart. We have a beautiful family. Mhm. And I I joined the army when I was 30. And um I came home from army training and then I decided to quit my job cuz I realized I was miserable and I started doing music full-time. And that's when I first started really sitting with all these things that had happened cuz I I really want to make music that helps people. Yeah. I I really I want to I want to help people heal as best I can. Um especially my own siblings who I know are all carrying different things and um

[13:16] Yeah. I was realizing the religion I'm in, I'm limited in how I can help people. Yeah. I just want to be able to help people. Mhm. And the the addicts that I'm I'm wor- sitting with and the homeless that I'm visiting and and and the people in these mental health facilities, what I'm offering with religion isn't what they need right now. Like they need something else and I started to realize I didn't really have anything to help them with. Mhm. And that's when I started realizing I didn't even know how to help myself really. Like >> Yeah. And so I tried to process these things and I just it was a really scary thing to start to realize as I did more research into my own religion that it's not what

[14:01] I thought it was and it was this scary scary experience because I was worried would my wife see me the same if I'm not Mormon. Would my in-laws accept me? Would Yeah. >> This is the the one thing I was good at was being a member of this church and teaching and sharing. And now I'm realizing that none of it is what I thought it was and I started to hit me when I talked to a uh a trauma therapist and she said cuz I had always carried the guilt of that experience those experiences when I was a teenager and she said, "No, you were abused. Like that's you didn't you weren't able to consent." And I was like 31 years old when this hit me and I was like "Oh my gosh. Like what? What is this?" I really thought that I was guilty

[14:52] before God that I had >> done this thing and that's when I pulled my kids out of the church and I and I started to get angry about all this and I started to And now I'm at a place where I just I want to feel healed. I just

[15:17] Um I just I just want to be, you know, I want to stop uh I want to stop running and >> Yeah. Um I can feel where I'm not taking care of myself and I'm I'm eating food that makes me sick and sometimes I'll have three or four Dr. Peppers in a day. Mhm. And and and sometimes like a a sexual release or self-soothing like Mhm. five, six times in a day. Mhm. And then I have all this shame around it and and uh I I I want to help others heal. I want to heal and I've been listening to you for years and I that's been the frustrating thing for me is I I know like what happened happened and couldn't have happened any other way because it didn't and Mhm. >> this is all just a story and and you know, these are all gifts and every

[16:11] trigger is a gift and yes Mhm. and why am I back in the drive-thru again and like why Mhm. Uh and I can look back on these events in my life and I can also see miracles. Mhm. >> And so it's like like pick a story, bro. Like Like I just I just want to be happy and I just um you know, I uh I I just I want to I want to be and and >> Yeah. and that's the frustrating thing is that I'm I'm having this new awareness and I have moments where I feel bliss and beauty and I write these songs and everything makes sense and it's like, oh my god. Like being in that car with my mother, what a gift that was. I got to be with her when she moved on. Like a lot of people don't get that gift and Mhm. >> I'm trying I've been trying to reframe

[17:04] all these things and and make them beautiful. Yeah. And um but then I then I find myself back to using marijuana every day and just wanting to feel good, just wanting Mhm. believing these lies that I know are lies, that if I just take some THC uh then I can relax. And if I just drink the Dr. Pepper uh then I'll feel better. And almost this feeling like if I don't get it, like this like I don't know, like this scary feeling. Yeah. I know that's not healthy. And I just want to be real. I want to be honest, and I want to honestly help people without an agenda. I just want to be able to And when I when I began my music project, it's called Love the World. That's what my LLC is registered as. I kept going back between heal the world

[17:58] or love the world. Should it be heal the world? And finally I was like I don't even know how to heal myself. Like >> [laughter] >> Yeah, yeah. heal the world. Like, come on, bro. So I was like, I don't know how to heal nobody, but I know how to love. I know how to stick with people. I know how to hold people. Yeah. I just for some reason, I don't know why I haven't found that for myself yet. Even though intellectually I I've listened all your stuff, and I've the Tony Robbins and Brené Brown, and I've done ketamine, and I've met with a therapist for years, and the life coaching, and the the journaling, and the mindfulness, and the like Uh what am I missing? And I and I hear you in my head, the only thing that's wrong

[18:39] with you is the fact that you think something's wrong with you. And I cry. And that changed me. Yeah. And then I come back to this state again. And then I got Joe Dispenza in my head, like, yeah, that's the familiar pathway. So try something new. You know what I mean? Like Peter I I just need to get crowned, man. I was going to say, that's the only thing missing. That's the only thing missing is being crowned, right? Let's see if we can't handle that today. Listen, you are a sweetheart. I love the energy. I love the enthusiasm. You clearly have a boundless capacity to love, which is beautiful. Um just again for the reference for people listening, you know, you talked about Dr. Pepper, you know, sexual

[19:22] release, whether that's through porn or just self, you know, um satisfaction. You had uh junk food, but then you have made steps, right? Cuz you were at one point addicted to opioids. Yes. Okay. >> Yeah, and I haven't used those since December of 2023. Which is Yeah, amazing. >> Great. It's Yeah, it's Yeah. Yeah, any other substances? No, like marijuana is I got a a medical marijuana card, and the only other substance is my wife. So, when you say when you when you say porn, like she has been so sweet, so attentive and giving to where I I don't watch porn. I have my own material of my wife. And that is my sexual outlet. It's like my I I call it like my cheat code. But ironically, compared to most men,

[20:18] not cheating cheat code, yeah. Right, yeah. And she's so giving, and every day she's like, "Do you need Do you need something?" Like, "Do you Do you" And I've just I'm at a place where it's like, this isn't on her, like Yeah. It's like you'll never get enough of what almost, you know, works, like you say. So, that's when I knew I I don't know why I keep going. But that's Those are the substances. Marijuana, Dr. Pepper, food, and intimacy with my wife, or intercourse, not intimacy. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Well, I appreciate the vulnerability. I appreciate um your willingness to share your story, and clearly some of the events that have transpired that you shared will have uh contributed to this identity that, you

[21:03] know, I I I love how well versed you are with my work and the quotes, and life will present you with people and circumstances to reveal where you're not free and what happened happened and all the things you said, the only thing you think is wrong with you is thinking there's something wrong with you. So, these are all great, but knowing those things clearly doesn't it it's it they're accurate but insufficient is the way that I put it, right? Meaning that they're not quite getting to the core of what's going on for Philip. So, hopefully today we can um we can access that, okay? Yeah, please, dude. Yes. Let's [ __ ] go. So, [clears throat] a very subtle distinction that I I feel is often um first of all, never discussed and

[21:48] perhaps never even known is with regards to addiction itself. Right? So, if you were to look at weed Dr. Pepper, junk food, sex, how how would you classify those things in the realm of addiction? That they are the what? Uh they are the the fix. They're the They're the addiction. They're the Yeah. So, so typically in the realm of addiction and you know, I've helped people in a a myriad of different ways with all sorts of different substances. Most people will say even think I have an alcohol problem. I have a marijuana problem. I have a cocaine problem, right? So, we tend to look at the substances as {quote} {unquote} the problem. Make sense, right? Like you're whether you're articulating it that way

[22:34] or not, you're looking at, "Okay, I do, you know, relieve myself five times a day. I have three or four Dr. Peppers. I smoke weed every day." They they are albeit perhaps not declared this way, they are perceived as the problem in Philip's life. Correct? Yeah, right. Now, what happens and why this is a powerful distinction is when we look at something as a problem, we generate resistance internally to it. Yeah? Right. Make sense? Whenever we have resistance to something, what that actually does is it exacerbates the desire for it. Yeah, okay. Do you see that? You tracking? Yeah, definitely. Now, the reason we do that is because our essence is freedom. So, think about it this way. If who we are is freedom, meaning we're able to do

[23:24] anything, your nature is freedom, but you're psychologically, emotionally, intellectually telling yourself that you can't do something, then because of our nature of freedom, the inclination is towards that. Do you Do you follow that energetics? >> Oh, okay. So, you're saying I've labeled it as bad, so I don't So, I shouldn't have it, but by saying I shouldn't have it, my soul is like, "No, I'm free. I can have whatever I want." Right. That's the light way of expressing it. So, now, here's the aha moment cuz you're very smart. What I want you to realize, Philip, whether it's sexual addiction, Dr. Pepper, junk food, weed, whatever substance, even back in the day, opioids, listen carefully. None of those are the

[24:12] problem. They are the solution. Now, let that land. Everything that you're partaking in that you call an addiction is not a problem, it's a solution.

[24:33] Okay. I mean, I trust you. I'm going with you on this. Yeah. So, so stay with me. So, if everything that you're choosing unconsciously, so in the world of like ego, we typically are driven by what I call unconscious reactions. So, right now, those solutions that I'm reframing for you are unconscious reactions to the ultimate addiction, which is to the idea of our self. Okay. So Philip at the subconscious level of his own personality will have narratives, pieces of code which we're going to reveal today that generate the internal experience of suffering from which you try to escape. Okay. >> The means of escape is the solution to your suffering. Okay. >> Yeah. Now if we don't deal with the internal

[25:29] suffering, then it doesn't matter how much you try to avoid the solutions, you're being informed by suffering and there is no mammal on the planet that does not try to escape suffering. Right. Okay. So the first reframe for you is your your unconscious programming is doing the the right job. You follow? Meaning So this is a way of acknowledging your conditioning without wanting to perpetuate it or condone it, right? Meaning Oh, Philip at the deepest level and we've got all the evidence, at least I do, as to why your suffering is doing what every human being who suffers does, which is get away from suffering. So in that particular timeline of existence, what you're doing is {quote} correct for the instinct of a mammal.

[26:30] Okay. You follow? Yeah. Okay. So you're >> So first of all what what I'm By doing this, what I want to help you to do is to eradicate, mitigate the judgment and shame that you have about your chosen forms of solution. Yeah. Okay. Does that help soften start to at least go, "Oh, I'm actually doing what any mammal would do when in a position of discomfort? I'm finding comfort." Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So, how does that feel super Yeah, how does that feel? So, it feels like I don't I just feel like I have more compassion for myself. Like So, you're saying I've just been surviving. Correct. >> And none of these things are bad, but No. because I have this subconscious something that's happening, these are

[27:24] naturally a solution for that suffering. Correct. And when you frame it that way, as you just said beautifully, and it you know, it brought up an emotion for you, you can find compassion for yourself. Oh, I'm hurt, suffering, and all I'm doing, albeit at some degree unconsciously, is finding some relief. Yeah. Yeah. With like So, for example, if you're if you're you know, you've got three kids, you said? Five. >> You got You Oh, you got five kids. >> Yeah. Okay, sorry. So, you cuz I know you said the two daughters and the son were saying get cramp. Thank you. Safety in numbers in your family, apparently. >> [laughter] >> All right. So, So, if let's say um you know, your son had burned his finger,

[28:12] right? Just whatever. It was holding trying to make a fire for the family, or was pouring a kettle and grabbed the piece of metal, and then he went to the cold tap. Would you Would you shame him for putting his finger under the cold tap? Oh, no. Of course not. No. Do you see? Yeah. Isn't that Isn't that interesting? Oh my gosh. >> [laughter] >> So, that's level number one, right? So, first of all, huh? No, it just reminded me of Liar Liar with Jim Carrey when the guy walks in on the bathroom and he's like, "What are you doing?" He's like, "I'm kicking my ass. Do you mind?" >> [laughter] >> Yeah, you're very good at that. Welcome to Welcome to your humanity, yeah. I've yet to meet a human being who doesn't at

[29:01] some level beat the [ __ ] out of themselves, yeah. [laughter] Yeah. I'm doing my best to, you know, one mind at a time liberate souls. But anyway, um so, first level, oh my gosh, Philip, albeit not necessarily a conscious choice, which is what we're evolving to versus unconscious reaction, right? We want to move into conscious creation, which we will do by the end of this conversation, you have my word. But right now, we first of all want to see that within the realm of what I call this old operating system of humanity 1.0 mindset, that entire structure of programming is its sole imperative is survival. Now, why is it based in survival? Because the underlying fundamental code is in some sort of inadequacy,

[29:48] insecurity, or scarcity, meaning we're living in a confined view of ourself that creates suffering from which we seek relief. That's just 101 existence. That's a whole world out there, Philip, just not you, right? Yours manifests as what you call, you know, addiction. Someone might be listening to this who's like, "That dude drinks three to four Dr. Pepper's a day? [ __ ] A, welcome to my world, dude." Like, you know, "I'm doing cocaine every hour." Or, you know, I mean, there was There was someone who was drinking 99, you know, Cokes a day that one of my Ayurveda doctors was helping, right? So, relatively speaking, yeah, doesn't really matter. Everybody's got their own form of addiction because,

[30:30] you know, my quotes better than anyone, apparently, and the one I have about addiction is there's no greater addiction than the idea of ourself. Mhm. That's your addiction. Yeah. Yeah. What we want to be able to do today is we want to reveal what is that idea of Philip that creates the suffering that is the precursor to the unconscious draw naturally to a form of relief which you found in you know these four sort of predominant choices, right? Right. And and the other thing that really hurts me, Peter, which I know you're about to help me with is my my my 9-year-old daughter or my 6-year-old daughter. They will come to me and give me love. They will kiss me on the cheek. And they will hug me and I'll just feel

[31:19] in my body like anger. And I I I don't like I don't understand why my sweet little girls are just trying to love their dad and I feel this frustration, this Yeah. anger and I don't get it. Like what? >> That's okay. We'll get to it. Don't worry. It's very clear. It'll all become crystal clear by the time I'm I'm done with your Dr. Pepper drinking ass. >> [laughter] >> Such a wild guy. Three to four cans a day. Oh my god, you're out of control. >> [laughter] >> I live on the wild side, man. Exactly. I should introduce you to some people I've helped. No. All kidding aside, I don't want to in any way adjust you you're just so fun to be with and I don't want to dismiss the you know the the the struggles that you've been through

[32:10] and the the the amount of love that you still bring to other people even in the face of your own suffering. It's it's really inspiring. So Thanks, bro. >> But now at least you're starting to see the cascade of how subconscious constraints lead to thoughts, feelings, and then behaviors um or actions which create outcomes, right? Yeah. So in this case what we're doing is I'm reverse engineering which I do with everybody back to the subconscious programming that fundamentally got triggered, not created, but stimulated in childhood, right? This is the much more esoteric understanding for the more advanced listener. Is my assertion is that we are here to transcend the constraints with which we arrived.

[32:51] Okay, it's not because your mom died in a car accident when you're 19 months. It's not because you were groomed and then sexually abused by a woman when you were 14. Those are the {quote} {unquote} catalysts to trigger the underlying constraints with which the soul Philip arrived that he's here to fundamentally transcend. I know that's quite a mouthful, but you're familiar with my work, so hopefully you're tracking. Oh, yeah, dude. I've been looking forward to this part for years, bro. >> [laughter] >> Okay. We could even argue that this was the reason you incarnated to be groomed. Dude, I'm I'm here for it, man. I [laughter and gasps] know. I know. Okay, beautiful. So, let's go back to those events and

[33:36] they're certainly two or three and it'll also tie into why your beautiful six and nine-year-old daughters come and kiss you on the cheek and yet you feel internally a form of resistance, which we already we we already spoke to, right? Right? We've got the the substances and you've got resistance. You're In your own words, you said, "Yeah, you're seeing them as bad, right?" Yeah. And so now the frustration or even the anger that you experience when your two beautiful daughters come to give you love will make a lot of sense by the time that you start to see who is Philip in the way that he has defined himself. Okay? Okay. So now, ironically, it wasn't so much what I hear in your story. It wasn't so

[34:18] much, you know, both events that you have kind of highlighted, the mom dying, which is of course tragic and and and I I'm really sorry you went through that, and certainly the sexual abuse, which I've helped a a of people go through. I feel the one of the most pivotal moments actually that has defined Philip's persona is the when you got um excommunicated shall we say the probate that you had to experience from the church. Yeah. Because what was that like? What when that 14-year-old and it's coming to the surface now for you, what what did you decide at that moment that that meant about you? Um that I was not worthy. Not worthy is a nice way of saying it. What else? That I was I was bad. That I

[35:08] was evil or Yeah. Not good. When I listen to your video, it gives me chills cuz for whatever reasons that I'm blessed with the ability to listen to a story and immediately hear the underlying subconscious constraints that confined people all I could hear was somebody who fundamentally thinks they're a bad person.

[35:36] What is that like to live inside of that, Philip? It's okay. Just let let it all out. Keep feeling it.

[35:49] It's okay. That who you are for yourself is bad and relative to your community your family Yeah, it's it's scary. It feels like I'm constantly going to get found out. Like people are constantly going to like when when they do they won't like me anymore. They won't love me. It's it's it's exhausting. I keep having to prove something to people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I get it. Just stay there for a minute. Like you've been walking around your how old now? 36? 30 36, yeah. Yeah, for over three decades that who you are for yourself is that you're just bad. And there could be other words that come to mind. You're rotten, you're trash, you're dirty is another word that I feel. Does that resonate? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, definitely.

[36:50] I mean, that's just dirty, right? What you went through that you you know, you don't belong now in the church. Yeah. >> You're so filthy. Yeah.

[37:06] What are some of the ways that when you live inside of that prison that you have learned to compensate? Um to like especially when I was in the church, I I studied the scriptures more than anybody and I memorized scriptures and I volunteered for every class and I said yes even when I didn't want to. And um and I did the things that nobody else wanted to do and I volunteered in nursery and I basically just abandoned myself trying to prove to everybody in church like see I'm I'm a good guy. >> [laughter] >> Yeah. Um All the while reinforcing what? That I'm bad. Now look at that. Look at all the energy, the effort, the time, the the the abandonment as you said, the way you compromised yourself, the exhaustion you

[37:58] put yourself through. Always always reinforcing the very thing that you were desperately trying to escape.

[38:14] Yeah. It's a lot, I know. It's okay. Now now you're starting to see the cause of the addiction, the home of the addiction. Yeah. Yeah. I just always trying to make people like me and feel safe around me. And then I say and do things and then like 10 minutes later be like, "Wait, why did I do that?" Uh But now but I but you're saying it's because it's because I was trying so desperately to prove that I wasn't bad. Yeah. Unconscious reaction. Meaning it's not something you believe. People talk about limiting beliefs. This is way below limiting beliefs. This is far deeper. You've heard me say it cuz you're familiar with my work. This is the you that you are for yourself. Philip isn't walking around believing

[39:18] he's bad. Right. >> Philip, in his own definition of himself, is bad.

[39:29] And that's why you can't see it. Yeah. I mean, look at the way you describe, defined Dr. Pepper, weed, sex, right, and junk food. How did you describe them? That you saw them. I said, "You create resistance cuz you think that they are bad. No surprise in the choice of words. Oh, and now I can see where I tried to make sex not bad cuz it's my wife. Right. That's >> [laughter] >> Okay. We don't see the way the world is, we see the way that we see the world. Yeah. Isn't that powerful? Yeah. It's not the world that we see, it's the way that we see. Now, if who you are is bad, so let's just take one let's just take let's stay as objective as possible. In the world of pure physics, is Dr. Pepper bad?

[40:37] No, it's just a drink. >> No, it's Dr. [ __ ] Pepper. Yeah. >> [laughter] >> Right? Yeah. Yeah. So, what I want you to understand is and again, I'm not in any way dismissing the fact that like I don't you know, I don't promote sodas, you know, this is by no means a commercial for Dr. Pepper. They'll suddenly be reaching out to Peter Crone. We'd like to sponsor your podcast. I'm like, no, I'm not interested. My friend Philip told me you're bad. >> [laughter] >> No, but we we understand also in the realm of physics. Like let's take a more bigger example, okay, this might be harder and especially for the listening audience. Is heroin bad? No, right? >> No, it's heroin. Yeah. Now, I want you to be able to understand

[41:27] whether we take you know, a slightly more mild you know, substance like Dr. Pepper or heroin. I'm not saying that I suggest anybody do them. Everything in the world of karma, cause and effect, has impact. Everything. Sure. >> Right? Yeah. You know, you could say that the guy who goes to the gym who used to be an addict, who now goes to the gym for 3 hours a day and he jogs and he's training for like his fifth marathon of the year and it's only like coming up to the end of April whenever it is. Like that that might look like, oh, the dude's really fit. I would still say that he's being driven by an addiction. Do you see? Yeah. It's like Shakespeare said, nothing in nothing is either good nor bad, but only

[42:09] thinking makes Is so. Yeah. Yeah. >> Isn't that beautiful? Dude, yeah. In the realm of physics, you know, somebody like myself with a very sensitive constitution cuz I would like to declare that I take immaculate care of myself. If I were to drink two or three Dr. Peppers a day, it would definitely make a mess, you know, in what you know, it's just my I don't drink soda. I just don't want to touch it, right? So, but for somebody who's accustomed to it, maybe their body has adapted to the point that well, it doesn't have the same degree of impact. But, the cause and effects are over the long term, again, like smoking. If someone has got a constitution like an an ox, they might be able to smoke for

[42:48] decades and be okay. Somebody who's more sensitive, you know, they might develop, you know, lung cancer or, you know, whatever it is that they're going to develop. So, we want to stay in the realm of physics, right? Okay. Where people suffer is in the realm of perspective. Right? You're not a victim of circumstance. You're not a victim of, you know, sex, Dr. Pepper, junk food, and freaking marijuana. You're a victim of a perspective that you're looking through. So, is this why cuz I've noticed that often times I will turn to these things when things are great. I'll get out of an assembly with all these kids or a assisted living facility and I'm on cloud nine and then I want, you know, the double

[43:30] cheeseburger or the vape the THC vape. Is that Are you saying it's because innately there's a part of me that's like, oh, no, no, no, no, I'm bad, remember? Correct. We always have to think about the thermostat in a house. If the thermostat in a house is set to 70°, if it suddenly gets cold outside and it starts to drop to 68, 67, what will it do? It'll kick in and put it back to the Correct. Conversely, you know, if it gets too hot outside, it will turn on the AC and bring it back down. So, think of that in terms of the same for our own identity. The way that we've defined ourselves at a very deep subconscious level has to constantly be rectified. I see. Okay. So, you The good news is you're never

[44:23] going to get too far off, you know, like those substances can accumulate over time, like you know, somebody will say, "Oh, you know, weed is a gateway drug, right?" And then you become like you get into the heavier stuff as you go. But really the gateway drug is is this as I declared this ultimate addiction is the idea of yourself. So, sometimes it becomes slippery where and I don't want to get too into the linguistics of how these codes define personality. That's what I You know, for people who are interested, that's what I do in the mastermind. I know you're in freedom membership, right? But the mastermind is where I help people understand and I'm going to give like a little insight today. Most human beings in their identity are

[45:01] defined by something they're not. Now, what does that mean? I'm not good enough. I'm not loved. I'm not valued or worthy, right? Can you see that? Yeah. Yeah. When a human being's identity is defined by what we're not, our our compromise and coping strategy tends to be try and become that thing. To compensate. >> So, if I'm If I'm not good enough, I'm going to as a strategy for survival become a people pleaser, perfectionist, work hard as a an attempt to become enough. Do you see that? Yeah. Yeah. Make sense, right? It's logical. Right. With somebody like yourself, there's a shadow side of what I call these negations of self, which is well, I am something negative. So, the antithesis of I'm not good

[45:58] enough is I am bad. So, Philip's identity has fallen into the shadow side, which is why you struggled with it for so long, or it's manifesting in a way that will you know, you're 36, but over time that would lead to physiological issues and you know, you've got a beautiful doting wife and lovely kids. But for most people in the shadow side of a compromised constraint of oneself, there tends to be a lot of destruction, right? Divorce, sickness, disease, loss of jobs, all the things like that, right? Yeah. Yeah. Do you see? So, now So, why I'm so happy that you're here today and you clearly have such a beautiful powerful spirit, which is why you haven't cascaded too far down the I am bad, you know, route, which a lot of

[46:51] people when they're in that tend to fulfill on. So, what I want you to understand is first of all, you're doing a a hell of a job to have kicked the opioids and to still be making a huge difference for the homeless and the people that you, you know, touch, which is beautiful. So, I just want to acknowledge that, okay? Thanks, bro. Yeah, of course. So, but now you start to see, oh, if who you are, not what you believe, but who you are is that I am bad, you can now see the cascade, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, when my my daughters come to love on me, Yeah. it's it it's me saying, why are you loving someone bad? Is that what you think? >> make sense. Yeah. It doesn't resonate. It doesn't align. And so, your

[47:43] fundamental identity at the deepest level has to do something in order to prevail, to sustain itself. See, the ego of every human being fundamentally is fictitious. Right. Uh so, in for it to prevail, it has to keep finding evidence or create its own to exist. Isn't that nuts? Yeah. It's nuts, man. Yeah, and you wonder why people out there are [ __ ] do you know, excuse my French, but you know, both sick and tired of being sick and tired, but they don't believe they have the life they want and they keep wondering why they the the self-fulfilling prophecy is leading to all of the discomfort and suffering that they have. Well, you're just constantly being right about your own identity. Yeah. >> [laughter]

[48:35] >> Bonkers, isn't it? Yeah, I've been so good at it though. Why here? Everybody's so good at being, you know, wrong about themselves. I mean, that's the human disposition. That is the insidious nature of what I call the 1.0 mindset. That's why I've created the new operating system for humanity. To break out of the world of limitation, fear, suffering, disease, and scarcity. That is the world that we have. And then on top of that, we just have the myriad of forms of coping strategies and survival techniques to try and mitigate it. All of which do nothing but reinforce it. And you have the mad world [ __ ] show of planet Earth that we currently have. So this is why I've had my spine fused after three surgeries is cuz I I keep

[49:22] I've constantly been in an environment where I've been living in a world where I'm bad and and my body's just been carrying that weight is what you're saying. Just an absolutely unnecessary burden from which you can never escape. Right. Yeah. >> [laughter] >> God. Oh, man, this is why I love you, bro. Dude, I'm telling you, man. Yes. Okay. Okay. So, that's level one there. So, now we're getting down to the deeper level. So, where was Philip born? Dude, I've been waiting for this for years, bro. Okay. [laughter] I was born in North Carolina, Peter. Okay. So, Philip, this is your moment. If I cut you open, am I going to find a physical manufacturing label, pick your material, wood, metal, plastic, that says on it,

[50:18] Philip, born in North Carolina, he is bad? >> [laughter] >> No, man. No, you won't. >> [laughter] [clears throat] [laughter] >> Oh, man. Go ahead. My bad. Go ahead. No, no, no. This is >> [laughter] >> My bad. Hey. Just got to help yourself. This guy. This guy. He's on fuego. >> Okay. Okay. No, man. No, you won't find it there. It's not in there. >> No, it's not part of his physiology, right? But we if we could read the genome, we'd understand your body constitution, your eye color, all the things, right? Somebody would be able to read that. So, where therefore does I'm bad exist? Because for over three decades, three and a half, it has dictated your thoughts, your feelings, your actions, and now these {quote}

[51:10] {unquote} addictions that you've been dealing with. So, where does the I'm bad live? In my head. In the conversation. Exactly. And where did that predominantly get formulated from? What what would you say was the most pivotal experience that you've already referenced and that I I I repeated for you? >> From the experience when I was when I was a teenager and experienced sexual abuse. >> Yeah. That you got probation and that you were basically {quote} {unquote} kicked out, shamed. Yeah. And that young boy then at that moment decided what that meant about him. Yeah. And that's when I started to do all the church stuff and got way into everything. Of course, which was the compensation, which is the logical

[52:00] progression because at the deepest level of who we are, we want to experience our essence, which is unity. Yeah. Yeah. So just as I said earlier, your nature is freedom. When you have resistance to in this case, you know, substances, your inherent freedom doesn't like not having freedom, so you're drawn to them. If you experience from your essence unity, but now you experience the feeling of separation or excommunication, what are you going to do? Try and get back to it. Of course. That's all any human being is doing. We want to experience our own divine essence of unity, which we can never access cuz we look through the illusion of a separate ego. >> [laughter] >> BRO, I'M TELLING YOU, MAN. YES.

[52:55] OH, get crowned, Phillip. Gosh. >> [laughter] >> So it lives in your head in what form? You said a conversation language, right? >> yes. In sound. In sound. It's literally So who you are is a divine essence of pure possibility, limitlessness, absolutely boundless potential that's being confined, imprisoned by sound. In this case, sound that who you are is bad. Yeah. So if it is just sound, if it is just language, it's literally words saying that you are bad, is it true that who you are is bad? No. Not at all. Oh, man. >> [laughter] >> Oh. Welcome to freedom, my man. [laughter] Thank you, bro. Oh. Just sit with it. You have been living in one of the most common, insidious, destructive lies. It's a lie.

[53:58] And what's so beautiful about you, I've never met anybody on this show who's so committed to truth. Thanks. >> why this is going to be just such a such a joyous transformation for you. Oh. Yeah. You You can't overcome a lie. Dude. Yeah. That's why I've been doing so much damn research. Good night. Oh. >> Yeah. And now I don't have to. >> [laughter] >> You can drink MORE DR. PEPPER. OH GOSH. I highly don't recommend it. But anyway, so But what's the difference now? If you did So now we want to make We want to make the collapse. Okay. >> If you were from this position of realizing that you're not bad, if you drank Dr. Pepper, what does that mean? It means I drank Dr. PEPPER. EXACTLY. [laughter]

[55:05] SO NOW GET THIS ONE. When your six and nine-year-old daughters come in and kiss you on the cheek, what now becomes available from this space? Oh. Oh. I can just receive their love. Yep. Oh. And I can kiss them back. Yep. Oh. They just got their dad today. Yeah. Isn't that special? Yeah, I was telling my wife Danny. I was like, I just know he's going to say go meet your daughters and I'm so ready for it. Yeah. I'd say go meet your daughters, go meet your wife, go meet your son. Yeah. I would I'm excited to meet myself. You know, I've been a good guy this whole time. >> [laughter] >> You really have. Such a good guy who tried so hard. He's such a good guy that he tried so hard to disprove his own lie that HE WAS BAD.

[56:12] >> [laughter]

[56:18] >> DUDE. OH MY GOSH, PETER. YES. DUDE, I got crowned, bro. >> [laughter] >> Yeah. Going to have to get you a t-shirt. I knew this was coming. We might have to do that for everyone who's on the show. Yeah. Oh, man. Yes, I get to meet my daughters. How special is that? As you, as the boundless, loving, beautiful soul that you truly are. Really feel it. Your nature is love. What's What's Tell everybody your motto? If no one else loves you, I do. Now, apply that to yourself. Yeah. God.

[57:11] You really You really had it. The way that you saw the world was nobody else loved you. How could they? You're bad. That's why I would go and visit people in jails and state the state prison. And I've wanted to do this I've wanted to do this this like one of my secret like dreams and goals is to create a non-profit where we have health professionals when the politician committed adultery or the teacher had inappropriate relations with the student or somebody killed somebody and all of society is looking at this person and judging them. And every time that happens all I can think to myself is I don't know but I this is a human being. How much How much were they hurting that they ruined their life like

[57:57] this? And so I think what what I hear you saying is the reason I was drawn to those people is because I was looking for myself. Both looking for yourself but also the beauty of the fact that you could recognize within them that which you were struggling with yourself. Yeah. And that's what bred compassion. I guarantee you as a generalization there's not anybody in prison that I've helped a lot and we gift a lot of my courses to inmates that doesn't think they're fundamentally bad. Society has confirmed it. But it's the chicken and the egg, which came first, right? I would assert that that soul incarnated with the story they were bad and then had to curate the events to confirm it. Frequency precedes form. That's how

[58:41] powerful we are. Didn't matter where you looked, Philip, you were always going to see bad. And then you try to compensate which of course is logical and because you're a beautiful soul and you didn't want to experience suffering, everybody as I said is trying to mitigate their own suffering. Oh, man. Yeah. And now where's the suffering? Oh, it was just a story. It's It's not even It isn't. So then who needs marijuana? Who needs Dr. Pepper? Who needs junk food? Oh. And even if you have it periodically cuz there may still be what I call karmic momentum in your physiology, meaning your physiology like, you know, when people have a lot of imbalances in their gut, they might be drawn to certain foods. You know, when women go through

[59:27] pregnancy, there are certain inclinations towards tastes and you know, so your physiology might still inform a habit. But now you get to have conscious choice. Is choosing Dr. Pepper junk food marijuana in Philip's best interest when who he sees himself to be is this boundless limitless being who warrants love? Who is love? Of course not. Yeah. Exactly. But now it's a choice as opposed to before it was an unconscious reaction. Right. >> Which had its own undeniable momentum that was very hard to overcome. Some people do it with willpower. You managed to do that with your opioids. But you can never over time overcome that which is persistently there. That's what I said, you know, you can never get something of enough of

[1:00:16] something that almost works. Yeah. Yeah. But now you get to make a choice for yourself from love. Right. I get to take care of me. What a novel thought. >> [laughter] >> Yeah, cuz I'm the good guy. I'm a good guy. >> [ __ ] A. Been a good guy the whole time. You have. And just And just because this is an important distinction that will give you power. You have been a good guy all the time. You are a good guy and and not or or but by virtue of being human you have the capacity to experience yourself as bad and act accordingly. I see. Okay, yeah. Yeah. I It's important that we integrate that versus dismiss it. So that like you said, if there's karmic momentum if something happens, I don't fall into a

[1:01:16] cycle of ah See I I [ __ ] up. I need to be crowned again. I'm such a bad guy. I knew I couldn't keep it up. All of those stories would only be reinforcing the underlying bad that you haven't incorporated or included. Right. Okay. >> Can you feel the power in that? Because otherwise, if you walk around now Philip as a good guy, you leave yourself ironically more vulnerable again. Cuz no one can sustain that. Right. Right. Okay. Yeah. Okay. That makes sense. So, the way I would say to the deep energetic level is who you are is love. And love makes space for all of it. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, you talk my language, bro. Yes, love. Yes. When you go into these incarceration facilities or you see homeless, you don't judge them, do you?

[1:02:08] No. No, but objectively the way that they've ended up where they are is because of consequences and actions that, you know, according to society aren't agreed upon or they're frowned upon, right? But you come in with no judgment. Because in that relationship, you're making space for their indiscretions. You're making space for their shortcomings. You're making space for their humanity. Yeah. Now you get to make space for Philip's. So, now I'm going to blow another part of your mind. Are you ready? >> Dude, I'm ready, man. You never, ever wanted to be healed. Because there was nothing to be healed. You just wanted to be held. For your imperfections. That 14-year-old, wherever you were and you had this big, you know, brouhaha

[1:03:04] scene and you were put on probation and all the things, that 14-year-old wanted somebody to hold him and say, "It's okay. You're not bad for what happened." And in fact, it took, you know, as you said, 17 years later whenever you're 31 and a therapist said, "No, you were abused." That was the first time you got a glimpse of like, "Oh, I didn't do anything wrong." Yeah. So again, your journey for healing perpetuates what? The idea that there's something to be healed. >> [laughter]

[1:03:46] >> Oh, man, Peter. Oh. I I So, okay. I was going to say I am healed, but that would just perpetuate that I was broken. I'm just I am. You are. And then depending on what lens you look through based on the narratives and the stories that we typically curate from our childhood, we will form a life to represent that. So if you're always looking to be healed, then you must say fundamentally there's something wrong with you. No, you went through what you went through and by the way, it's already finished. Right. It happened forever ago. 22 years ago you had this moment with this 40-year-old woman. 22 like even physiologically, you're not the same person as you were when you started this conversation cuz cells have died and new

[1:04:35] ones have been born. That 14-year-old, with all due respect, he died, you know, 22 years ago. You're just holding on to the story as evidence to sustain your ego's identity. Yeah. It's got What What What does literally literally What does what you went through when you were 14 have to do with today? Nothing. Nothing. Now we can embrace the human part, which is it had everything to do with your identity until we just revealed it, which was it confirmed a story that you were bad, that you're dirty, there's something wrong with you. You know, we didn't go through all of them cuz they're bedfellows to me. But they're all sort of associated, they're relative, right? Yeah. Yeah. Being bad, dirty for what happened,

[1:05:25] there's something wrong with you. I would throw in you're not wanted, right, which is being sort of discarded from the church. So you can write all of these I mean this is recorded, you can watch it, but I I just want to share them with you so you can investigate the same process I took you through which is is it true that you're bad? No. Is it true that you're not wanted? No. Is it true that you're dirty? No. Do you see? Is it true there's something wrong with you? No, they're all lies. But they are all the fundamental addiction that was the precursor to the solutions you found to mitigate suffering. Wow, yes. And in the absence of those, my friend, if it's not true that you're not wanted, if it's not true

[1:06:08] that there's something wrong with you, if there's not true that you're bad, and if it's not true that you're dirty, they're all gone, you literally don't have those ways of relating to yourself. Who does Philip get to be?

[1:06:27] >> [laughter] >> I don't even know, man. It's so exciting. >> That's a very accurate answer. Yeah, you don't cuz I'm introducing you to a world with which you're not familiar. Welcome to 2.0 world, my friend. >> Yeah. Wow. Oh. Now I just want to write. I've been dealing with writer's block, but now I just Well, I'll tell you what right now, whatever it is that you do, and again, I'm not familiar with music, it just got exponentially more powerful. Oh, [ __ ] Can you feel that? Yeah. Yeah. And here's a really funny thing that I want you to understand and I can't categorically say is true. My guess is because when we shift our internal terrain, the way we view ourselves, and the fundamental way that we relate to who we are, like

[1:07:11] your energetic signature has shifted today. That informs your physiology. So, I've worked with people who may have been addicted to cigarettes for 40 years. We had someone in my mastermind who smoked 120 cigarettes a day. After our conversation, that next week she had three, and the week after she hasn't touched a cigarette again. Wow. >> Because her physiology, the form that is informed by your view of yourself, now is going to have different proclivities, different tendencies, different uh preferences. So, I wouldn't be surprised, again, I don't know, it may not be instant, that your body no longer even wants marijuana, it doesn't like the taste of Dr. Pepper, and it certainly would never drive through a McDonald's drive

[1:08:01] drive-by. Yeah. Do you know >> Yeah. Do you Can you see that? Because Because your your your physical form as an extension of your energetic signature, it it doesn't align anymore. It's like it's physically impossible, not physically impossible, but for me to go into like a fast food place. Like it does it doesn't align with who I am in the way that I view myself, or the way that I revere the opportunity that is to be me as a human being. Right. It doesn't align anymore. Yeah. Do you see? Yeah. So, no longer those things no longer not bad, they never were, they were just the extension of the bad through which you viewed yourself. They They're just something that probably won't even resonate with the

[1:08:49] frequency, albeit only like 10, 20, 15 minutes old, but as you continue to embody that, you won't be drawn to substances like that. Yeah. That makes sense. >> is that? Dude, that's awesome. That's what I wanted. Like I just want to drink water and eat produce and be healthy and feel good. Yeah. But I didn't want that before. Like I wanted it, but I didn't I I craved something different. And you're saying now with the new me, a new energy, a new frequency, that those things will just be not even relevant anymore because now I'm just a different person. >> You won't even attract them into your field because it's not who you be. It would. Yeah. >> And and again, just to make space for the phenomenal being you are, if

[1:09:39] occasionally there might be this like, "You know what? [ __ ] it. You're out with the family. I'm going to have a Dr. Pepper." And you haven't had one for a month or a few weeks. Like who cares? It doesn't have to know be bad. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, just is. It just is. Yes. I was going to say how do you feel, but I think it's pretty much Dude, you're the freaking man, bro. I love you so much, bro. Thank you. Thank you. You're a sweetheart. I I just feel so blessed to get to do what I get to do, especially with people like you who showed up, you know, borderline only an hour ago, who thought that there was something wrong with them, they were bad, they're broken, they have addictive problems, and had

[1:10:21] all sorts of shame and guilt to the absolute boundless joy that is now evident in every cell of your body. I mean, what a gift. Dude, yes. Oh. Yeah, you are a sweetheart, and the world just became a much brighter place because >> Oh. Philip didn't try and heal himself anymore. He held the part of him that got hurt once. Which everybody can relate to. And that's going to make you not only a better husband, a better father, a better friend, a better musician, and the people whose lives you've yet to touch, that don't even know you exist, I just want to acknowledge you for the difference you're going to make that you don't even know yet. Dude, thank you, Peter. Thank you. There's not one human being alive, you

[1:11:07] know, of the millions who will get to listen to this, who don't have their own form of addiction. It may not manifest in choosing substances as a solution to mitigate suffering, but it is nonetheless the addiction to thinking that they're not loved, that they're they're worthless, that they're not safe, that nobody loves them, that they're not going to be okay. And so, thank you for your courage and vulnerability, your absolute beauty of spirit that allowed you to share things that are going to touch the lives of millions of people in their own form of addiction that I hope after this conversation, they now get to transcend and see as a fundamental lie and that beneath that is the pure love, freedom, possibility of the essence of

[1:11:48] who we all are. >> [music]

[1:12:00] [music]