Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out.
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>> I like him though. I mean, as a kid, I
talked to him a little on the green room
and then I thought he had a pretty good
set. I
>> He's funny. Matt's funny. Matt Riff is
very funny. The [ __ ] going on?
>> I don't get [ __ ] crowd work. I mean,
I
>> It's not my thing, but I get it. You
know, it's a it's a tough skill. Some
people are really good at it.
>> I guess they are. But I won't let my
opening act do it.
>> Oh, it it becomes a problem
>> because then they feel like they can
talk to me, which they cannot.
>> Yes.
>> Because I just I always looked at it as
a time killer back when I had 41
minutes, but I was supposed to do 45
minutes. And I'm like, I got to talk to
these [ __ ] hay seeds [laughter] for 4
minutes and get this thing wrapped up.
But once I had the jokes, you know, I
just do the [ __ ] jokes.
>> Yeah. I mean, I don't knock it. It's
cool. It's a different thing. It's a
different thing. It's It's relies on a
very strong improvisational muscle cuz
like you're under the gun to come up
with something funny to say, but it is
always funnier cuz it's under the gun
than it would be in a normal
circumstance. Like the things that
you're saying,
>> you can never use it again. I mean I
mean you can use the skill all the time.
I mean I guess some people are that good
at it. But
>> Ingram's really good at it. Rick Ingram.
He's got a lot of like built-in stuff
like material he could pull out too
because he does it so often.
>> Oh yeah. Kind of blend the two together.
>> Yeah. Yeah. He seamlessly integrates the
two of them together. He's really good
at it.
>> J Big Jay Big Jay Okerson. He's really
good at it. He's really good at it cuz
he knows how to hold a moment. Yeah.
>> He could He knows how to hold like when
someone says something ridiculous. He
knows how to pause. He knows how to like
He's got great storytelling.
>> Yeah. He's a nice guy, too. But he he's
a great guy, but he also is a great
comic. Like he just does funny standup
comedy on top of that. So it's like,
yeah, the the crowd work is nice, but
it's not the only thing he does. Whereas
some people that's their whole thing.
>> Well, I hear these young comics at the
club, I got to work on my crowd work. I
got to work on my crowd work. And I'm
like, well, you don't. But
>> you see Pat O'Neal's joke about that? I
don't want to give it up on the air, but
it's really hilarious. He's funny, man.
That guy's a [ __ ] that guy's a joke
machine.
>> Pat O'Neal. I think Pat is uh you know I
had him on my show too right after I saw
him on Kill Tony.
>> So funny.
>> And uh you know that's it's amazing.
Kill Tony. What was the kid's name that
was that opened last night?
>> Oh, you weren't you weren't there Monday
night? I was there Monday night. The
young kid he's uh from Alabama. Do you
know who I'm talking about?
>> You know he just got the golden ticket
and told Tony this
>> when I was hosting and you were there
that night.
>> Yeah. Let me text Tony. I'll find out.
>> Find out. It might not have even aired
yet as it is.
>> I just don't know his name.
>> [ __ ] the kid's hilarious. He works at
the club, too. Cool kid, too. And you
know, was living in Alabama. Decided to
take a chance.
>> Brent Reed.
>> Brent Reed.
>> Yeah, Brent Reed. He's opening for me
tonight.
>> Funny [ __ ] dude. And he was
saying, That's right. Cuz he was saying
like you said after you saw him on Kill
Tony, hey, I'd like to have you open for
me. And he was like, "Holy [ __ ] [ __ ]
man." He had called his dad. He's like,
[laughter]
>> I'm [ __ ] opening for Ron White.
was giving him [ __ ] about his comedy
career.
>> Standup, uh, I have, you know, standup's
not as funny as it used to be to me.
It's very, very rare that I'll sit and
watch somebody do stand up and laugh out
loud if I'm up on the balcony. Uh, but
that that kid cracked me up and uh,
>> he's very good,
>> great writing.
>> It's what's amazing is that
>> when he came back on Kill Tony, he'd
only been on one time. One time. They
already knew who he was. I mean, they
gave him a round of applause like it was
one of the biggest comics in the country
and he had been on once.
>> Yeah.
>> And it was the second time was
>> he'd actually I thought that too, but he
had actually been on before and bombed
>> and he talked about that
>> about how he came back and this set he
was just he'd been working at the club.
He'd been living in Austin. He's way
more comfortable. Built his act up and
he was like super honest about it. We're
all chilling in the back. Very cool guy.
we were just talking about. He's like,
"Yeah, I just had to get my [ __ ]
together, man. I had to figure out what
the [ __ ] I'm doing." And the first time
I did, I kind of froze. But this time, I
was like,
>> and this time he had to follow that
other dude. Who was that other dude who
also got a golden ticket,
>> right? Two in a row. That guy was funny.
Have we seen him since? I haven't seen
him make seen him since, but that guy's
[ __ ] talented, too. He was very
funny. So, they got two golden tickets
in a row. Who was the other guy that got
a golden ticket? That
>> he had a fun name, like a madeup name.
Give me a second. Sorry.
>> Yeah, it was like sir
>> I [snorts] don't remember
>> something. I don't remember. I don't
even
>> I don't remember. But it was hilarious.
It was ridiculous. Whatever his name was
was ridiculous.
>> So I just got back from uh Lake Como and
uh Verona and Zerat, Switzerland. And
>> damn, dude.
>> [ __ ] 20 21 days.
>> Wow.
>> Of just pure relaxation. And I got to
tell you, I dug every goddamn minute of
it. It was 107° here in Texas. It was
Oh, the high today is 62. Yeah, that guy
right there.
>> What is his name?
>> [ __ ]
was right here.
>> Chose French, I think.
>> Yeah, I know.
>> Francois something, right? I think it's
a fake name.
>> See if he says it here. Sorry.
>> Does he say it?
>> I can't hear.
>> Fine. I'll find it. Okay, tell me what
it is. But that dude is very funny, too.
So, he super funny in the interview,
too. Like very funny back and forth.
Just a funny dude.
>> Right.
>> So, two golden tickets in a row. But
anyway, that guy killed so hard that
when the other guy came on after him,
it's like, holy [ __ ] Like, you you got
a tough spot here and he murdered.
>> And he murdered right on top of it.
>> Yeah.
>> So, when he when he opened for me, there
were still a couple of jokes that didn't
work. I mean, it wasn't like playing a
Kill Tony crowd. That's right. That's
was a different a little different
crowd.
>> And so, uh, but he he got his footing
back and, uh, you know, and and, uh, and
did a great job for me. So, and then is
it Dedric, the the other guy, the
>> Yes, Dedric. Yeah. Dedric Flynn.
>> Yeah. [ __ ] hilarious guy. I think
he's
>> one of the best around, you know, just
his demeanor on stage. And I'm He's on
the show tonight, too.
>> And that's another dude that almost
didn't like leave Atlanta. He was stuck
in Atlanta and just spinning his wheels
and he couldn't make it happen. And then
he came out here and got on Kill Tony
and boom.
>> It's just such a great opportunity if
you're ready for it. If you're not, it's
just another passing moment. And the
crowds love it, too. I mean, they the
crowds get it.
>> But if if you're not ready, it ain't it
ain't going to happen.
>> Steve Francois.
>> Franis. Yeah.
>> The comedy seller. I think he has that
added.
>> That's what he calls himself. The comedy
seller. Like S E L L E R. Unlike the
club. That's right. That was his crazy
name,
>> the comedy seller. But very funny dude.
Uh yeah, I mean it's the greatest thing
for comedians in the history of comedy
in terms of like having a real platform
that if you've been banging it out on
the road for seven, eight, nine, 10
years, you put together a solid half
hour. You're really starting to tour.
You're middling for guys. You're really
starting to feel like a real comic. And
you got one banger on Kill Tony. Boom.
Next thing you know, you show up like
look at all these guys. Cuz look at Ari
Matty. Ari Matty goes on stage. They go
[ __ ] bananas now.
>> Yeah, they do.
>> William Montgomery, they [ __ ] the the
Black Keys asked me to bring William
Montgomery to the club cuz I was going
up that night and they were coming to
the club. They go, "Hey, is William
Montgomery coming?" I I'll make sure he
comes. [laughter] I called him up.
>> [ __ ] man. It's it's so much fun, you
know, and and I even though I enjoyed it
when I first saw it out in LA,
>> I did not see I did not have the vision
that Tony has, you know, that of what it
could be someday. I just thought it was
a great idea and I didn't know if it
would ever go anywhere. But good God, I
told him maybe like four or five years
in, I go, "Whatever you do, don't stop
doing this." I go, "This is going to be
one of the biggest shows in comedy." I
go, "This is so unique and so huge and
so different and the way you host and
the way you do it is different than the
way anybody else would do it." It's
like,
>> and nobody else could do it. I mean,
it's all him. It's it's he really is.
It's pure genius this the show is.
>> He's a genius host. Like, people hate on
that guy. You have no idea how talented
he is. That improvisational talent that
he has off the bat like that.
>> Oh, I have an idea.
>> Second to none. [clears throat]
>> No,
>> second to none.
>> Second to none.
>> It's incred. And I I was telling him a
long he's like, "Really? You think so?"
I go, "Do not ever stop doing this show.
This show's going to be [ __ ] huge."
>> [ __ ] And it is too.
>> And now it sells out Madison Square
Garden two nights.
>> Two nights in a row. Yeah. Well, wish I
could do that. [laughter]
>> It's amazing. I love it. I'm so happy
for him. And it's so cool to watch. And
it's such a positive karma show because
all the comics that leave that show and
they take off like, you know, it's just
watching Camp Patterson on SNL, watching
all these different comedians just sell
out all over the country. It's
incredible.
>> I love it, man. I love it when somebody
hits it, you know.
>> Well, it's great for all of us.
>> It is.
>> It's great for the club. It's great for
the the young people coming up to see
that it's possible, that someone else
can make it there. It's like it's the
new like Hollywood you got a sitcom
thing. You know what I mean? It's like
very similar because back in those days
like when one of your friends got a
sitcom you're like holy [ __ ] Mike got
cast on [ __ ] Bob's cousin whatever
the [ __ ] it is some stupid ass sitcom
and everybody was like wow maybe I can
make it too that this is the new version
of that. you're seeing guys actually but
in now it's just standup like you have a
real career in standup from it
>> right which is all I've ever done right
I my that's all I've ever done is
standup comedy and so that's kind of a a
weird career you know not to be able to
bounce to here off of anything other
than just jokes
>> standup comedy is a weird career period
cuz you know everyone's like
psychologically fragile
>> right and then you're going through
these ups and downs and you're trying to
sell tickets and you're trying to be
relevant and
>> and something's got to happen.
>> Something's got to happen,
>> right? I mean, there's got to be a
catalyst, right? And for me, it was all,
you know, the bluecollar comedy tour,
which now people don't even remember
what that is, but at one time it was a
big deal, you know, and it it uh
>> I think most people my age remember it.
Most people are also shocked that
there's not another one. Some other guys
haven't figured out how to do something
like that. Like take that level of
comics, like four of them, put them
together and go on tour.
>> Right. Well, you know, with the killers
that kill Tony, it's kind of like that,
you know, the group of some guys that
now
>> not as big as, you know, Foxworthy and
Foxworthy was the only real star of that
show when it started. You know, he was
he was willing to share a stage with me
and and uh that's, you know, that that
was the catalyst for me. But I'd also
been doing stand up for 14 years and
I've been h headlining comedy clubs for
11 of them.
>> That's the thing, right? It's there's no
substitute for the time in. And there's
so many guys that are like right about
to crack. You know, that's where Kill
Tony really comes along. Guys that have
really put that time in, really been on
the road. Yeah.
>> If you're prepared for the opportunity,
then that's the best thing out there for
you.
>> And if you're not, then it was just
another [ __ ] day at the park, you
know? No big deal. Then you have to
figure out what the [ __ ] you're going to
do with your life.
>> Yeah. [laughter] Good luck.
>> Because you bomb on Kill Tony and you're
an Uber Eats driver and you're like, "Oh
no, man.
>> What is my life now?"
>> Yeah. I'm, you know, I'm I'm glad that I
didn't really get weird exposure early
and that's the worst thing that could
happen is you win a contest or something
and you don't have the show to back it
up with, but all of a sudden you can
sell tickets and that's just a a death
spiral is what that is.
>> Yeah. That could do you in.
It's all there's a such a dance of like
what works and what doesn't work. Guys
trying to find their voice on stage and
trying to write and trying to figure out
what to do and then also might have a
drinking problem. Also might do cocaine,
[laughter]
>> right?
>> Also might have owe the IRS $50,000. You
know, they're like some of these guys
are so [ __ ] up, but like they're some
of our favorite artists.
>> Yeah.
>> And when they crack through and then all
of a sudden become comfortable and make
a living, it's [ __ ] glorious thing to
see.
>> Yeah. Yeah, it was always neat at the at
the comedy store cuz all the comics park
in that parking lot and you could tell
when something happened cuz it's either
shitty cars or great cars. There was no
medium cars out there. You were either
broke or you had cash. And if you had
cash, you had a new car.
>> I know. There would be times you go back
there. It was like Mercedes, Ferrari,
Porsche, Corvette,
>> right? Vega. [laughter]
>> Well, there was always a lot of people
that I always tried to talk Mark Marin
into getting a nice car. He would never
do it. him and Ari like I had a M3 once.
I'm like, "Mark, this is a sensible car.
This is not too crazy. It's not too Look
at me." I go, "It's so fun to drive." I
go, "Dude, it makes driving a ride. You
don't even have to go fast. Just the way
it handles, the way it accelerates, the
braking, carbon fiber brakes.
>> It's got carbon ceramic brakes, man.
It's [ __ ] incredible. It's It's on
rails, this thing." I was like, he goes,
"How much is it?" like we're going back
and forth. You just couldn't be that
ostentatious, you know, I've got a lot
of money guy. Even when you had a lot of
money, I'm like, what's the point?
>> I was the same way when I first started
making money because I just assumed it
was all going to end, right? So, which
it does normally. And uh and so I was
like, [ __ ] man. I I I just got to be
ready for when this I got to make as
much money as I can and work as hard as
I can before this whole thing comes
tumbling [ __ ] down.
>> Wow.
>> And it never [ __ ] did. So now then I
was like, "Oh, somebody's got to put a
stop to this." And uh and then I I tried
to quit for a little while, but [ __ ]
it's just too much fun.
>> I spent every penny I had for years. I I
I didn't give a [ __ ] Even when I was on
TV, I was living like a baller. I was
just spending all my money. I didn't
save anything. [laughter]
I'm like, if it doesn't go, if it goes
out, I'm not living normal now so I
could live normal forever. I'll figure
out a way to live normal. Like right now
I'm on [ __ ] television. Like give me
[laughter] a car. Let's go. I want to
buy a house.
>> I was like, "Look, if if I go bankrupt."
I've had my car repossessed before. I've
been broke before. Like, okay, I'll be
broke again. But right now, I'm not
broke. So, I'm going to live like I'm
not broke.
>> Yeah. I was living like I wasn't broke
this uh past 3 weeks in Switzerland.
>> That's a nice way to live, man. But I
don't think you could do it forever. I
think that's the thing. Like, you have
to work as hard as you do. Like, you're
always touring. You're always working on
your material. You're always riding.
You're always doing sets. You're at the
club all the time. You're always banging
it out. So for you, you've earned that.
Like when you kick back and you got a
[ __ ] panina colado, you don't drink
anymore, but you're sitting back with
whatever you're doing, just taking in
that sun. Not a damn thing to do. People
are feeding you food.
>> Yeah.
>> The the the work's already been done.
[sighs]
>> Yeah.
>> But you have to earn that. If you just
do that, that's not good on its own.
That's it. People look to that thing as
if it's like Jordan Peterson's talked
about that before like [snorts] that
people imagine their retirement sitting
on a beach drinking margaritas. Like how
many margaritas can you drink? How long
can you sit on that beach before now
you're depressed?
>> Or even if it's a even if it's you you
bought a yacht,
>> right?
>> How long can you sit on that?
>> That's crazy.
>> Uh before you're bored out of your
skull. And uh but yeah, I'm you know
it's it's almost 70 years old. I you
know, [ __ ] yeah. I I deserve all the I
get to do whatever I want. So
>> yeah, you get to do whatever you want
and but again like 20 days is good.
>> Have you ever been to back to work? I
have not.
>> [ __ ]
It's so gorgeous. And it's not even
that.
>> It's the the infrastructure of it. And
you know, we're 40 trillion in debt. We
don't have a high-speed train to
anywhere. Where's our [ __ ] You know,
and but [clears throat]
you can get to the top of almost any
mountain there at 70 years old. You'll
get take a train to here, a [ __ ]
augur, cut through a mountain here, then
a gondola over there, and then over the
top. You can actually go to [ __ ]
Italy on gondelas from Switzerland and
have dinner and come back. It was
[ __ ] gorgeous. The only thing I
didn't like was pay toilets and uh
because I didn't have you have to have a
dollar in Fris Swiss Franks
>> to take a [ __ ]
>> to take a [ __ ] And I'm like, that's
discrimination. It's like, why is it
discrimination? Only people with a
dollar can [ __ ] here. And then if and it
wouldn't take a euro and it wouldn't
take American money. But then I found
out, oh, you can use a credit card. So I
have to borrow money to [ __ ]
>> Make payments. Pay a dollar.
>> A dollar to [ __ ]
>> Yeah. But if you don't have one of those
dollars, you got to get your credit card
out and swipe it on this.
>> I guess after a while, everybody adjusts
and you just keep a dollar with you if
you're going to go out in case you have
to [ __ ] And that way at least you keep
the riff raff out of the toilets.
>> Yeah. Well, they got a riff raff got to
[ __ ] somewhere. You know,
>> do you want them [ __ ] on the street?
>> And I was I was about to [ __ ] on the
floor if I couldn't find a way in. And
finally, it's another guy behind me a
credit card work. So,
>> you should be able to do Apple Pay.
>> Yeah. Straight through to the [ __ ]
>> Yeah. Can't you?
>> But uh but I loved it. I had so much
fun. Lake Como was so beautiful.
>> Well, you know, Switzerland has famously
been neutral, right? That's Switzerland.
And a lot of banks, a lot of banks go
over there, right? They got a lot of
money and they don't spend any of it on
war.
>> Yeah. They don't spend a dime of it on
war. And I I was asking, you know, it
was kind of interesting because um I I
went to to to France almost exactly a
year before
>> and I got kicked off that u yeah cruise
ship, the little Viking cruise. Did I
ever tell you that story about kicked
off on that [ __ ] thing?
>> This episode is brought to you by NBC.
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central after The Voice on NBC and the
next day on Peacock. I knew it was going
to be a problem when I saw the boat,
right? Cuz I got weed and gummies and
[ __ ] and I'm like, I don't know if this
is going to work or not, but I'll just
see what I can get away with, right? And
then and then I'll deny it and then do
something different. You know, we we
park the boat every day. I can just get
off the boat and smoke. I don't really
care. And the [ __ ] people came down
on me so hard at the Viking cruises. And
uh the the captain of the ship
confronted me in front of a bunch of
people really loud and aggressive and
called me a liar. And uh
>> Were you lying?
>> No, I was smoking pot out on my deck and
which is where the the first guy came in
and said, "Hey, listen. you can't smoke
pot in your room, but if you want to
smoke pot on your deck, well, that's
what I'd been doing, but I hadn't been
real careful about keeping the [snorts]
door shut. And this was the the hotel
manager guy, not the captain of the
ship. And he was the nicest guy ever.
Uh, and he meant me no harm. Just figure
this out, you know. And
>> well, the next day we were parked right
at the dock and the dock was right
there, right off my balcony. And I'm
sitting there in a cloud in a puff going
anywhere and he calls and says, "Hey,
the captain wants to talk to you." And
I'm like, "Do I know what it's about?"
And he goes, "Yeah, you know." And I'm
like, "All right." And uh they came in
just in the hallway, just dressed me
down. And he said, "Uh" I said, "No, I
was smoking pot where that guy told me
to." And pointed right at the other
dude. And he goes, "I think you were
smoking pot in your in your bathroom."
And he got in the ventilation system. I
You just made that [ __ ] up, dude. You
just called me a liar. I'm one of your
customers. I bought a suite on this
goddamn thing. And he said, "You listen
to me." And and and at the end of it, he
goes, "Well, listen. If you want to
smoke pot on the top deck, maybe I could
look the other way." Why didn't you open
with that?
>> Yeah.
>> Instead of jumping my [ __ ] ass. And
>> how illegal is pot over there?
>> Oh, you know, I was in the wrong. You
know, it's probably illegal, but
>> But I mean, how illegal?
>> No, not really. I mean, you can still
buy Paris. You can go to You can get a
[ __ ] card and go in and buy weed.
Okay. And then
>> Well, that's silly, man. God, the whole
thing's so silly that that's still an
issue. I get the whole smoking pot
publicly. It is gross, especially to
non-smokers and people with families who
>> get how strong the smell is.
>> Yeah, it's strong. I get that. I
understand that. That makes sense to me.
But the laws against it are just stupid.
They're just [ __ ] stupid.
>> Speaking of felonies,
>> you can't do that on the air,
>> huh? I'm not. It's a cigar.
>> Oh, okay. You can smoke that on the air.
>> I brought you one, too.
>> Oh, thank you. Let's go. It's uh
actually I can't tell you where it's
from.
>> Uhoh.
>> Because uh that's a felony, too. But
>> why? Huh?
>> Oh, is this from that other country?
>> That some foreign country. I actually
bought it in
>> I think those are legal to have.
>> No, they're not.
>> I think Cuban cigars are legal to have.
And that's not what we're talking about
cuz these definitely wouldn't be Cuban
cigars. But I think Cuban cigars are
legal to have.
>> Oh,
>> I think you're allowed to have a certain
amount of them now where it used to be
there was an embargo to all trade to
Cuba. And I think there's a limited
amount of Cuban cigars you're allowed to
possess.
>> Let's look that up. I don't think that's
right.
>> I don't believe that's the case. Do you
need a lighter, sir?
>> There you go.
>> Thank you very much.
>> Ron White, ladies and gentlemen. What a
gentleman. Boy, this smells like South
of Florida.
>> For this is tough. Damn, these are
legit.
>> Damn, this is a real thing, Ron White.
Yeah, it is.
>> There's like a loophole.
>> Isn't it weird? There's a loophole.
Yeah.
>> Isn't it weird how like some countries
are just way better at at certain [ __ ]
Can you buy Cuban cigars at a US shop?
No.
>> No.
>> Can you order Cuban cigars online for
delivery to the US? No.
>> Yeah, you can.
>> Uh, smoke a Cuban cigar while abroad
where the law permits it. Generally,
yes, but do not bring it back. What?
That's crazy. Imagine they're telling
you whether or not you can smoke a Cuban
cigar if you're in England,
>> right?
>> I used to get them from England. I had a
dude in England that would send them to
me. This is way back in the D. And he
would send me a box of them with no
bands on them. And then he would send me
a separate bag with all the bands in it
in an envelope.
>> You notice these don't have bands on
them.
>> That's the thing. Yeah. But there's so
many fake ones. No, that's the most uh
the most counterfeited thing in the
world is uh Cohiba cigars.
>> Um
>> look at this. Says for a period ending
September 2020, travelers could bring
limited Cuban cigars back for personal
use. That exemption was removed.
Exception was removed. Current CBP
guidance says people subject to US
jurisdiction may acquire Cuban goods
while outside the United States in
certain circumstances but may not import
Cuban origin tobacco products into the
country. Well, thank God these aren't
Cuban.
>> Yeah, thank God. Well, I bought them in
Switzerland, so I assume they're Swiss.
>> They must be.
>> They must be.
>> They're really good at everything over
there, including cheese.
>> Well, they're good at cigars. That's
Zeno David off Swiss from Switzerland.
>> Oh, really?
>> Yeah.
>> Where do they get their tobacco? Mhm.
Well, he was he was he was rolling
cigars. He was making cigars in Cuba,
but he smelled the whole thing coming
before everybody else did. Moved to
Dominican Republic. And before he did
that, he moved seeds over there, started
plantations, moved his rollers over
there.
>> So really, when that all went down, the
only really good cigar you could get was
uh David off.
>> It's kind of crazy how the Cubans really
are so much better. There's like a level
They're a level above.
>> They're a level above. And one of it is
the Rollers. Uh, you know, they just had
generational rollers and they have these
big rolling rooms for somebody to sit up
in the front of the the thing and read
them books and they just sit there and
roll these beautiful [ __ ] classic
cigars that smoke gorgeous and taste
gorgeous. Well, if you don't have that,
there have been companies that have
bought other cigar companies just to get
their rollers and then discontinue the
line all together. Now, I need these
guys twisting up some [ __ ]
>> Yeah, you need the Wizards.
>> Yeah. There was a place in Miami where
we used to go to uh when we would do uh
the Miami improv and you could go and
watch these people who were used to be
in Cuba and now they're in Miami rolling
cigars. Watch them do it, cut it, roll
it out and they'd sell you the cigars
right there and it's like incredible.
You watch them do it
>> and that is pure contraband too, you
know, because they're bring that that
tobacco is coming from somewhere and
>> I don't know where they're getting it.
They didn't I don't know if they even
said I don't remember. a long time ago.
But you know, you you can get great
cigars from Nicaragua, great cigars from
Dominican Republic, but there is a
difference.
>> Yeah, there's a difference.
>> It's crazy. You know, it's a really
small area, too, where they grow the
>> tiny place. And actually, you can still
buy pre-imbargo Cuban cigars in America.
>> So, if it was rolled and brought into
the country before the embargo, they're
legal. And there's a market for them and
they're expensive. pre-imargo Cuban
cigars because
>> all these really well they have to have
been kept the whole time in humidors.
>> Whoa.
>> Uh but these big rich guys that you know
cigars were a penny and then Cuban
cigars came available and they were a
nickel. Nobody going to pay a nickel.
You know this 120 years ago and uh but
it turns out they did pay a nickel and
they were just that much better. And
then those guys when they heard about
that embargo, they bought everything
there was and built these huge humidors.
And when they died,
>> those things went on the market, you
know, and
>> Oh, wow.
>> I I stayed at the Fairmont Hotel in San
Francisco and they have a Cuban cigar
outlet in that hotel. So I bought one
because it was like $200 and I'm like,
>> so it's like a 1960 cigar,
>> 62 or something like that.
>> Crazy. See if you can find those online.
Are those available online?
I'm sure they are.
>> That's a crazy thing.
>> Pre-imargo Cubans.
>> You know what JFK or RF? Yeah. JFK
rather. JFK did that before he made the
embargo. He bought a shitload of cigars,
brought them back. You [ __ ]
>> Yeah. And he knew what he was doing.
>> You [ __ ]
>> He knew what he was doing.
>> You [ __ ]
>> Yeah.
>> You did that and then you made them
illegal.
>> Yeah. What's up?
>> It's It's I had to click I was 18 plus
on Reddit to look at a picture of them.
It says it's NSFW content and it's just
pictures of cigars.
>> Why is that not safe for work?
>> I have no idea. Look, like the whole
cigar thing is all NSFW.
>> Pre-mbargo 1962. Are those for sale or
they're just photos?
>> I was just finding a photo. I thought
that was super strange. I didn't even
get
>> That is super strange.
>> It's on eBay. I probably can't find them
on eBay, I bet. But
>> it's porn for cigar people,
>> right? They just want to stare at them.
>> I felt it move.
[laughter]
What is it about men who love collecting
things that are hard to get?
>> Well, I think that uh once you have
money and then you you you all the
things you thought you wanted, you get
those and then you want something you
can't have.
>> This is not too bad. This is one that's
300 bucks
>> for
>> for one cigar.
>> A bundle of 25.
>> What? Really?
>> I think it's a bundle of 25.
>> That's ridiculous. That's very cheap.
That's cheap for any Cuban cigar. [ __ ]
Wow. That can't be possible.
>> No,
I paid more than that for
>> these guys are [ __ ] you.
>> Probably fake. This is how you get This
is how you stumble across fake sneakers
really quickly.
>> Brian Jordans. You think
>> Look at Look at the reviews. You think
it's real? It's all four stars.
>> I just say if you guys are already
saying the price isn't right. This is
some fake [ __ ]
>> I don't know. Ron would be the one to
know. I have no I didn't even know about
this till 20 minutes ago. Maybe it's
real.
>> This is how people I'm telling you fake
Jordans.
>> Jamie, let's order a box. I can't
imagine that.
>> Order a box, please. Add a cart.
>> Who's going to smoke it first and test
it?
>> I will. I will. Ron and I will. We'll
bring it to the club.
>> Um,
>> just pause that. Just put that aside.
Send it to me. I'll order a box. We'll
see what's up. [snorts]
>> All right.
>> See if Long as we don't get in trouble.
That's totally legal.
>> Yeah, totally legal. If it's pre-imb say
that in the other thing. It didn't say
pre-imbargo.
>> First, here's a review. First five pack
I bought was not good. Every single
cigar was plugged and didn't have a
smooth and easy draw. Not just from this
particular cigar, but Kamacho as a
whole. Yeah.
>> And he still gave him four stars.
>> However, the handwritten thank you card
I received I never forgot and gave Cigar
City a second chance to the latest
five-pack I bought was well worth the
price. It's a sad day when the Cuba
Tobacco bundlers for this cigar are all
used up. This may be my number one
favorite cigar, hands down. The
transition between each third is
absolutely incredible. So, the first
five pack sucked and the second five
pack was insane.
>> Interesting.
>> Huh.
>> Well, they're cheap. So,
>> maybe maybe they have
>> they have 10 reviews total. Five seven
or fives and three or fours.
>> I'm just saying.
>> Eight.
>> All right.
>> Take a swing at five cigars. [ __ ] it.
>> You can handle it.
>> Yeah, we'll we'll see what
>> you get beat out of.
>> We'll be all right. I bought dumber
[ __ ]
>> No, for sure.
How's that [ __ ] Corvette you got,
baby?
>> How's that thing?
>> Somebody wants to buy it from me. You
know who?
>> Who?
>> Uh Jay McGra.
>> Does he? Oh,
>> yeah.
>> He can get one of those. He can get one
built. You don't want to sell yours.
Yours is yours. Yours is set up for you.
>> Yeah, that's my car.
>> That thing's beautiful, man. Yeah, you
can't sell that.
>> That's You have to keep that. That's
Someday when you die, that that'll go on
auction. It'll be worth a fuckload of
money. That thing is beautiful. And it's
got a bar in the trunk.
>> [laughter]
>> It doesn't have it anymore.
>> You took the
>> I took it out. So, because it didn't
have a top because I wanted that bar
>> for whatever [ __ ] reason. Joe,
>> did you get Calvin in Austin? Did they
do the work on it? I think they did,
right?
>> Yeah.
>> Casey. Yeah, he's the best.
>> They they they've done some of the work.
Some of it was done in Atlanta. I mean,
the basic build was done in Atlanta, but
the setup on it was done by Kurt Bush's
race team. M
>> he was testing tires at his oval track
and he said, "Bring it out here." Cuz he
knew I was building it and he said,
"I'll I'll have a guy set it up for
you."
>> Oh, that's awesome.
>> And uh so there's footage on the
internet of him driving at 170 mph on an
oval track and me going, "What the [ __ ]
dude?" He's doing donuts in it. I'm
like, "GOD DAMN, I JUST HAD THAT [ __ ]
PAINT JOB. [laughter]
You could drive it. Set it up."
And he said, "We need to drop that front
end uh an inch." And uh and I said,
"Well, yeah, but if we drop that front,
Ron,
>> we need to drop the front end an inch.
You don't need to ask questions."
>> I'm like, "Okay, drop front end an inch,
buddy. You know more about this [ __ ]
than I do, don't you?"
>> Those guy I can't really drive. I can
drive. I mean, I've been around a track
a few times. I know how to drive, but
not like these guys know. They feel
things that you and I wouldn't feel.
They're like, "Oh, the left camber is
off. This is off. There's something
going. It's, you know, they have all,
you know, the under steer is off.
something. So, I don't like these tires.
Like, they feel it with their ass.
>> Yeah. Yeah. And and they did a beautiful
[ __ ] job on it. And it's so much fun
to drive. It scares me a little bit
because, you know, it's just got so much
power, you know, so light
>> and and nothing to it, but running over
running over 500 horsepower. I just had
fuel injection put on it because it was
running kind of rough early on, you
know, when I'd get it start, it start
cold, but now it just boom.
>> Yeah. Was it a carburetor setup before
that? Like, yeah, those stink, too.
>> The problem is they make your whole car
stink like gasoline. Like, those old I
used to like that. I used to like
>> I still like the smell of gas.
>> There's something about you getting an
old muscle car, you smell that gasoline.
Like, America.
It's just uh it's so a lot of it is
nostalgia,
you know? Nostalgia from the time when I
was when I was a kid, muscle cars were
the thing.
>> Well, mine's, you know, mine was born
the same year I was, 1956. So, so it's
been running, it's been around 70 years.
That car has just like me. Still running
just like me. So,
>> Right. But it's got all new parts.
>> Yeah. It's not the same. We got to work
on that with you. We [laughter] We could
have driven away what we didn't use.
>> Yeah. That's the same with mine, my 65.
There's nothing in that other than the
outside,
>> right? That's all mine is frame. And I
mean, everything
>> dashboard and some of that stuff.
everything else. You know, it's got a
Art Morrison chassis on it and coilover
springs and disc brakes and
supercharger. It's got an LS engine in
it. That thing is uh there's nothing
about that that's an old car.
>> That's a I got to tell you, that's that
yours is the prettiest Corvette I've
seen. And when I first saw that one, I
was like, man, I didn't think anybody
could beat me in the Corvette
department. But that
>> that thing's a dream boat. When I first
saw it, I was like, "Oh shit." When I
first saw it, it was a lot different. I
brought it to my friend Steve Stro. When
I first saw it, it had the grossest
interior. It had a It had cheap Corvette
bucket seats from like a maybe like a C4
Corvette or a C5. They were terrible
seats. And the interior sucked. And the
this the shifter sucked. And uh it was a
little underpowered. It didn't have the
uh supercharger in it. I brought it to
Steve's trope, but it did have the
chassis. And so we upgraded the
suspension and then he upgraded
everything else and re completely redid
the interior and put like really solid
bucket seats that grip you and yeah
wider tire and brake set up and we got
those cool wheels. Those wheels are
sick.
>> Yeah, those really set it off. Yeah.
>> Show a photo of that, Jamie. There's a
photo of me with Jay Leno when I did Jay
Leno's garage with it. The wheels are
controversial. People either love them
or they hate them. I [ __ ] love them.
I think it just I wouldn't like them on
I don't think on many cars, but on that
car, it's like the perfect wheel for it.
>> What's that green car? I saw you driving
out last night.
>> Yeah, that's that's my other Corvette.
>> Oh, yeah. Look at that son of
[clears throat] a [ __ ]
>> Look at that. Those wheels rule, dude.
>> Those are [ __ ] bad ass wheels, man.
>> They rule for that car. That thing is
sick. So, that was all red. The stripe
was red. Steve Stro turned it black and
>> did the wheels and did everything. He
really tuned it in nice where it's just
dialed in. Yeah, that's badass.
>> It's so fun, man. That's me and Jay
tooling down. He's the only other guy
that's driven it other than me.
>> That thing's fun. And again, it weighs
nothing.
>> It's probably got 550 horsepower now
>> with the supercharger.
>> Yeah, I won't let anybody drive mine,
but I'll let you drive it.
>> All right.
>> But, uh,
>> let's go. Well, you know, we're setting
up a studio at the track.
>> A what?
>> We're setting up another studio at the
racetrack.
>> Oh, yeah. You told me about that. like
[ __ ] at the races of a couple years
ago or whatever it was.
>> Uh sometime around like Novemberish,
we'll start doing podcasts out of there.
>> Hope to get it done right around the
time Formula 1 is in town. That'd be
fun. So I can get some drivers on and do
some podcasts from there.
>> But uh so we'll be able
to some of them both places. So we'll be
able to go around the track, take guys
around the track, take people that have
never been around the track. And I what
I want to do is like bring in car
companies like so you know Mustang has
this new dark horse Mustang crazy 600
horsepower crazy Mustang like let's let
people drive it. You want to sell some
Mustangs? Let these guys drive it just
for funsies. We'll take some pictures
and then we'll do a podcast. Talk some
[ __ ] you know, with whatever musicians,
comics people.
>> Yeah.
>> And then, you know, have fun on the
racetrack.
>> Yeah. We see a ton of those guys out of
Driftwood out of my golf course. A lot
of those guys are golfers and they all
go out there [clears throat] and uh and
play golf whenever they're in town.
>> Oh, I'm sure. Race car driving and
golfing. I I you know, I really wish I
could get into golf and I probably will
someday. I probably will. I'll probably
be forced into it.
>> It's a lot like lot like lot like lot
like lot like lot like lot like lot like
lot like lot like lot like lot like like
shooting a bow
>> in that.
>> Don't Don't tell me that cuz then I'll
then I can't do it.
>> Yeah. I mean in that in that you never
do the exact same thing twice. you know,
there's the shots going to be either
further or shorter or the wind's going
to be coming from some other way or
whatever. So, you're it's you really
have to and the the big difference is
when you [ __ ] a bow or whatever you call
it, uh that's where all the power is,
right? It's all it's it's already in
there. It's built in. You don't have to
generate it now,
>> right?
>> You just aim it. But golf, you have to
generate all the power with your body.
Yeah. And which is hard to learn how to
do. Well, I watch Jamie. I watch Jamie
do it all the time. You ever seen Jamie
whack a ball?
>> That [ __ ] dude can get some distance.
Jamie can Jamie can whack a ball.
>> Jamie, you want to come out to Driftwood
and play golf with me?
>> I'd love to play at Driftwood.
>> Huh?
>> Driftwood's a great place. I'd love to
play there anytime. [laughter]
>> Well, I'll take you out there.
>> You got the dude can What's your
furthest drive?
>> Oh, I mean it does. It's all dependent,
but I've hit it over 300 yards, which
isn't that important as Ron would know.
It's all about what hole you're hitting
it on and is it like, you know, is it
worth it hitting the 300 yards in that
hole?
>> Yeah. How far can you drive a ball?
>> Uh, you know, I hit the ball I 235, 240,
something like that. But, you know, if I
really get into one, I catch the sweet
spot, you know, maybe 255, which is
nothing compared to 300. But you find a
70-year-old dude that can do it, then uh
>> What is like an elite golfer? Like the
best driver? What how far are they? I'd
be Rory Mroy probably at about 325
average.
Uh, so 100 yards. They hit the ball 100
yards further than me. I played with uh
>> Jamie, you're only 25 yards off of some
of the best golfers.
>> No, no, no. That's not how I would even
word it.
>> You're in the middle of the fairway.
>> You're saying like how far have I ever
hit it, which is what I'm answering.
It's not how far do I hit it, which is
like your average. Would you take out
your top your tops? Take out your lows.
I see what you're saying.
>> What's your average?
>> Well, that's very humble of you. Well,
I'd be bragging my ass off 300 yards,
[ __ ] I'm on a shirt made it [ __ ]
hat.
>> I'm on their ass.
>> I'm going to hit 320. Have you seen
those guys that go to those driving
ranges and they have these crazy swings
where like they like completely spin and
then rotate their body. They do almost
like do a 180 and then smash it. And
>> those guys is it's got to be way over
300 yards.
>> They're sometimes 500 yards in some
cases.
>> That's crazy. They're using specialized
equipment. They're playing in a
specialized place.
>> Yeah. But they still can't play the game
of golf.
>> Right.
>> That's different. Right. Right.
>> Or usually. I mean, they usually they'll
make might maybe be a two or three
handicap. They'll be decent at golf,
>> right?
>> But they but the the elite guys, they
can't they can't touch them in the game,
you know.
>> Yeah. There's a there's a similarity in
pool and that's the break shot.
>> This guy's the current
>> 579y.
>> Jesus, Kyle.
>> Yeah. That's insane.
>> He's swinging really hard.
>> [ __ ] half a mile, isn't it?
[laughter]
>> It is.
>> This isn't even like [screaming]
>> 425. This is on a course. He's probably
got a 31.
>> Oh my god. He's a big dude.
>> He's also playing out. And he's getting
a little bit of help with elevation out
there. You can tell he's out in the
mountains,
>> right?
>> A little Wow.
>> A little help. But that's what you want.
You want to hit it on the green. That's
kind of what's way more important.
>> 410 yards if you can do that.
>> That's bonkers. That's bonk. Wait till
some of those like super athlete NFL
players get involved in golf.
>> LeBron's got involved recently.
>> Oh god.
>> And he started a YouTube channel, but
his uh he obviously doesn't have a ton
of time to play. He's busy, but his
growth in the year he's played is pretty
remarkable.
>> Of course, he's he's a super athlete.
Same with Justin Gate.
>> Yeah. I mean, he's he's really good to
start, but he's played forever.
>> Justin?
>> Yeah. He's I think Didn't he say he took
six months off or three months off and
played every single day? Well, what
happened was when he got uh hurt in the
Max Hawway fight. Yeah.
>> He did he didn't do nothing for like a
long time and he just let his body heal,
let his brain heal and he played golf
every day for like a year. And DC was
saying like, "Dude, he got so [ __ ]
good." Like, and but of course, he's an
athlete.
>> Like, if you're a world champion MMA
fighter, you can kind of do anything if
you set your mind to it. He could play
golf. He could he could skateboard. He
could do whatever the [ __ ] you want.
Because those guys also are ridiculously
flexible, right?
>> He's not that flexible. He's loose
though.
>> That's kind of matter. That's what
matters more. I mean, I went to stretch
zone today, you know? That's where I go
to
>> You go to stretch zone. Do you go to
someone stretches you?
>> It's the best thing [laughter] in the
world, man. It's It's kind of resistant
stretching, which it takes an hour
>> and they just have you on a table and
they're just bending you around. And
boy, you can play some golf when you get
off of that. Nothing frees up your lower
back. You got to be able to
>> How many people are doing it?
>> Just one person.
>> One guy just holding you down and
twisting.
>> They've also got straps where they strap
you to the table so they I mean they can
do things to you
>> that you can't do to yourself.
>> You can't you you just can't get that
kind of stretch in.
>> Interesting.
>> And I I I [ __ ] love the place. And it
seems like And it's never busy. And it
seems like that uh that cuz every there
tons of old guys out there playing golf.
Every one of them should be on that
table and it it do it fixes everything.
>> Do you do anything to work out to like
strengthen your body other than playing
golf?
>> No.
>> You should probably do like a light
kettle bell routine.
>> Nothing to do a kettle bell, but maybe
some some some rubber bands or
something.
>> Kettle bells are not hard, man. You
don't have to be
>> I've seen video of you doing it. It
looked like it would break me in half.
>> Yeah, but you don't have to do that
weight. You could do a real light
weight. A light weight is a great
workout. Sometimes I do like if I'm not
feeling that good, I'll do a just a
routine that I do with a 35 lb kettle
bell just to if I just I just want to
break a sweat. I don't want to really
exert myself, but I want movement and I
want my tissue to loosen up. I'll do a
whole routine with a 35 lb kettle bell.
>> Yeah, there's no doubt about it. I
should do more.
>> It would be great for your golf, though.
There's a lot of things you do like
rotational twists, things that would be
really good for just generating force
with your drive and and just control of
your body, just overall body control.
>> Yeah, I know that I lost I lost some
muscle when I was just losing weight
with uh with those or whatever it was.
And uh so I know I could get boring. I
know that the the whole secret to me
getting to be 80 and still mobile is leg
strength. And uh
>> yeah,
>> and I was really kind of impressed with
myself in Switzerland cuz I I I was
getting around pretty good, you know,
cuz I' I've do,
>> you know, I do uh whatever testosterone
and human growth and all that kind of
stuff. So, it does make my muscles
stronger cuz I was I was doing thing I'm
like there's no way I get up to the top
of that thing and I just chug on up
there out of breath, but my legs are
fine, you know?
>> Yeah. It makes your your body behave
like a younger body. That's the whole
key. People miss out on that because
they're afraid of the stigma attached to
taking testosterone. Like look, your
body doesn't make it anymore. When your
body makes it, you feel better. Get all
this ideological [ __ ] out of your head.
Especially like a lot of my like
left-wing friends are very adverse to
the idea of taking testosterone. Like
look, you don't have to take a lot of
it. It's not it's not what we're saying.
We're not saying get on steroids. What
we're saying is bring your body back to
levels that it had like when you were 30
and you'll feel so much better. Your
immune system will work better. You'll
sleep better. Look, I mean, just look at
me. The difference from when I came to
Austin and you came to Austin and uh and
uh and then I was still drinking really,
really hard and ridiculously hard. And
uh but I was 30 lbs heavier and uh
sluggish. I never felt good. And uh and
today just after you know just doing
going to ways the well and you know
taking all that stuff and I got to tell
you I feel better than I have in [ __ ]
ever. Uh I am just [clears throat]
I think that that everything in my life
is is stronger than it was then. I mean
I think the standup's even stronger you
know because
>> I think it is too. I think you add on to
that like a little bit of weightlifting.
I don't mean anything crazy. And one of
the best things you could do is what's
called a farmer's carry. Just get a
couple dumbbells and just walk. You can
walk around your property. You can walk
around your street, you know, walk. I do
like a couple hundred yards and then a
couple hundred yards back. I go up a
hill and then I go down a hill. The
whole thing takes me like 15 minutes.
It's phenomenal for your body. Like
carrying things like carrying heavy
things is really good for you, man. It's
great for your grip strength. It's great
for your back, your core, like
everything. Everything felt like like
right when I first started doing it, my
body was like, "Oh yeah, do more of
this." It's like like intuitively I was
like, "Oh, this is tying everything
together." Like moving weight around, I
think is very important. Not just
standing there and like pressing and
doing stuff like in stationary. I think
there's some real benefit in like
walking with stuff because you got to
balance it. It's heavy and you're moving
around. Your grip gets tired and you
have to set it down and then you [ __ ]
>> How much weight are you carrying? 200
yards.
>> 140 lb.
>> Oh, [ __ ] dude. [laughter]
>> Two. But you
>> still have two little weights in your
hands.
>> Well, these the kettle This might be a
different time you saw me, but I don't
think there's any video of me doing
that. But these kettle bells, they're
each 70 lbs. So, I have one in each
hand. So, it's 140 lbs total. And I'm
walking up this hill and then I'm
walking down the hill. And I do it every
other day. It's phenomenal.
>> And then you work out every single day.
>> Yeah. Every every day. Every day I do
something. have to do something just for
sanity.
>> Yeah. I guess if you're not moving
forward, you're moving backwards. And
the
>> I just want to maintain and and also
sanity. The real thing is sanity. The
world's nuts. Like one great way to like
alleviate some of the pressure of paying
attention to how nuts the world is. Is
do something really hard. Do a hard
workout. Do a yoga class. Do something
difficult. Just something that takes you
out of it for a minute and just relaxes
you.
>> Yeah. I'd like to get back into yoga
again. I did that for a while and that
was so good for you.
>> One of the best things I bet for golf.
>> Oh yeah, it is. No doubt about it. Then
you'll play forever. Just
>> do yoga. I had this hot little yoga
instructor come over to my house and it
was just a great way to just [ __ ]
start the day. And I did it every day.
>> What happened?
>> Well, other girlfriends didn't like her
cuz she was hot. I'm like, I don't know,
but I'm willing to fade all the heat
>> just for some yoga where all my motives
suck anyway. I just wanted to be near
the
>> There's something very hot about yoga
ladies, too. Like a really good one.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. So, and I'm going to get back into
something. We met a a female trainer the
other day that's friends with John Paul
and Eloise
and uh so we're going to hire her to
start coming over to the house.
>> Oh, there you go. That's a good move.
>> Start start working. Yeah, because I'll
I'll I'll do more
>> with a with a woman.
>> Really? Just to show her that you can do
it. you know, just just I don't know. I
just show up for it if it's warm,
[laughter] you know,
for some [ __ ] reason.
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>> But yeah, that's what I that's what I
need to focus on for uh next, you know.
>> Yeah, you got to keep the body healthy.
You know, your body's healthier now than
it's been before. Now you got to start
strengthening it. It's real simple. And
you can like there's no reason to get
weak other than an injury, other than
something that's wrong with you. the
it's out of your control. There's no
reason no reason to just be weak. You
could be healthier.
>> Yeah, I'm after it.
>> It's fun, too. You You have more energy
for other stuff, you know? Your life has
more you have more vitality.
>> It'll only get better, Joe. It'll only
get better.
>> That's what I'm saying, dog.
>> How come people are ragging on our club,
man?
>> Who's ragging on our club?
>> I was watching on TikTok. People that
goddamn mothership. It's a walled
garden. Someone warned me about that a
long time ago. This philosopher guy that
I know. He said, "You got to be careful
because like it looks like you guys are
having too much fun and other people
can't get in and they feel like it's a
walled garden. They want to [ __ ] on it."
You know, the thing is like people like,
"Why?" Because we're all friends in
there. It's cuz like it's a very
intimate group of friends
>> and we don't know when somebody else is
gonna come in there and listen to us
[ __ ] and then go jammer away to some
[ __ ] else. So,
>> or get upset at some of the things that
someone says, cuz some people say
horrible things in that room, don't even
mean it cuz it's funny, right?
>> They say it to be funny. Yeah.
>> And then there's I've seen some of that.
One of
>> one of the things that I've seen is
people that are talking about like the
kind of comedy that they're they hear
there. And what they're talking about is
Brian Holtzman. And they were talking
about this guy. He's yelling about gay
people like like you
hold on. You're talking about Brian
Holtzman. like that. What that is is
like the comedy version of death metal.
Okay, death metal. People some people
like death metal. Like you don't have to
like death metal
>> and you don't have to watch it or listen
to it.
>> You might be into opera, but that guy is
[ __ ] hilarious. And offstage, the
sweetest, nicest guy you ever met,
>> nicest person there is.
>> On stage, he becomes this [ __ ]
maniac. But it's a it's like satire.
It's on purpose. It's not a real person.
>> Yeah. It took me a while to get it.
>> It's brilliant. He's one of the best
comics alive. He's one of the funniest
guys I know. Like, he's [ __ ]
hilarious. Is it offensive? 100%. Yeah.
Some of the things he's going to say are
will offend the [ __ ] out of you.
[laughter]
They will offend the [ __ ] out of you.
They offend me. I'm like, Jesus Christ,
Holtzman. But you got to leave room for
that. There's always got to be room for
everything. There's room for everything.
And if it doesn't work, the people won't
laugh. And if they don't laugh, he won't
come back.
>> You know, after a while, that's it. You
But he they laugh. We laugh hard. And
you you you could say this is awful that
they're laughing at that and you got a
point,
>> but that's not what it is,
>> right? No, I I'm telling you, I didn't
get it at first and because I saw him
eat it one time and I was like because
he can, you know, he can he can find a
crowd that's tough. U but uh
>> that can happen. But a lot of now he's
got his own crowd.
>> Yeah. His own crowd they're they're
looking for.
>> The other thing that people keep saying
is that it's like a right-wing club. The
vast majority of the people that are in
that club, working in that club are
leftwing. That's crazy talk. People just
assume because of they connect Tony, you
know, and people also connect me to that
when I don't I think I mostly think
that's cuz they don't know me. But and I
because I look rightwing and because I
did kind of help Trump, but other than
that
>> other [laughter] than that,
>> you think that might be what I've been
leftwing my whole life. But yeah, well,
I know you have very left-wing views on
a lot of [ __ ] things. And
>> I have very leftwing views on a lot of
things, but I also recognize when um
government is taking over our lives. And
uh what we were sold with the Trump
administration would be that would end
and you know there'd be a drain the
swamp. Obviously, it's not been ideal
like in that regard.
>> Well, I think it's Yeah. Well, you you
know how I feel about it. A lot of
people laugh. I mean, I'm I'm left of of
certainly left of some of it and uh but
I also carry a weapon and I believe in
the death penalty and you know I but for
the most part
you know I I'm a left-leaning faction in
the green room you know I mean
>> you and Brian Simpson Brian Simpson's
very left too but you know Tonyy's the
only one who's like on the right Tony's
like legitimately rightwing yeah He's
MAGA. That's kind of Well, I guess I
don't know.
>> I don't even know if you would say that,
but he's like pretty openly rightwing to
the point of me and him argue about
leftwing, right-wing stuff all the time.
>> But it's like the problem is not
leftwing, right-wing. The problem is
like rational and insane.
>> Yeah.
>> Like the open borders was insane.
>> That was horrible [ __ ] a horrible
[ __ ] [clears throat] move. The COVID
mandates were insane. Forcing people to
get vaccinated was insane. All that
stuff was insane.
>> That stuff scared the [ __ ] out of me.
The censorship online was insane. All
all the woke nonsense forcing you to use
pronouns and forcing you to never dead
name someone or you get kicked off of
Twitter for life. There was so much
insanity that we needed some sort of a
break moving away from that. And that
was that was my position. I was like,
"This is going to continue." Cuz like
obviously Biden was not really the
president for four years, right? So the
people that were all were running the
country will continue to be running the
country. These non-elected people, it
wouldn't be him. And then when she's in,
it would be the same [ __ ] people. Be
the same people I voted for.
>> I bet you did.
>> I did. And because I wouldn't vote for
Trump. And And also they were, you know,
going after women's rights. Well, I'm
going to side with the women because I
don't like any candidate, but I'm going
to vote. And and then the women didn't
go and they left me out there like a
dumbass holding my dick going, "Well,
where were we all?"
>> When you say women's rights, you mean
abortion, right?
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. Because I mean I I'm going to be a
grandfather in uh few months. I don't
know if you knew that or not, but
>> Congratulations.
>> Huh? Yeah. [clears throat] I'm so
[ __ ] excited about it. Mhm.
>> And uh I mean I it's just uh I mean it's
happening a little late in life for me,
but you know now I'm looking like well
if I play my cards right and I live as
long as my mother did, I can I can see
this kid through [ __ ] high school.
>> The the abortion rights thing is a weird
one. You know, it's like I don't think I
have a right to tell anybody what to do
with their body. I'm not a woman. I've
never been pregnant. I have no idea what
that's like. I have no idea where some
guy gets you pregnant and it takes off
and you got to make a decision and it's
or
there's medical issues
>> coming up. It should be between a a
family and their doctor.
>> Yeah. I have so I really I can't say
anything but there's a weirdness to like
late term abortions. And I know most
people say late term abortions are only
in the case where it threatens the
mother's life and no one really wants to
do that. I know someone who got a late
term abortion in New York and it was
just cuz the boyfriend didn't want to
have the baby and they waited too long
and she was pregnant. It and it scared
the [ __ ] out of me. I'm like, you guys
just killed a baby.
>> Um, I'm not saying that happens all the
time, but I'm saying just the fact that
that can happen scares the [ __ ] out of
me.
>> Um,
>> well, aren't there laws against even I
mean even before these laws were passed,
weren't there laws saying we not pass
this? What did they just pass in
Massachusetts? Didn't they just pass
some new abortion law in Massachusetts?
I think that I think the rational
thinking is that most women would never
want to abort their baby late term,
right? And if someone's doing that, it
has to be extenduating circumstances and
that it has to be because of and to
eliminate that possibility and to put
someone through like life-threatening
situation because they really do need an
abortion and the law says they can't
have an abortion unless they get some
exemption. So they have to prove it and
then the right life is at risk. So I
could see how you would say we will
allow late term ab
>> Massachusetts expands abortion access to
any point during pregnancy. On Monday it
joined nine states and Washington DC in
eliminating gestational restrictions on
abortions. So what does this mean
exactly? Let's scroll down. I think this
means anytime during a pregnancy. So
this means like 8 months, 2 weeks, you
can get an abortion. Most abortions
happen within the first trimester. Very
few take place after 24 weeks, the
previous limit for abortion in the Bay
State. Those that do occur after that
point often involve situations in which
doctors discovered a fetal anomaly late
in the pregnancy. Um, Massachusetts law
was championed by major medical groups,
including the National Society for
Maternal Fetal Medicine, the
Massachusetts Medical Society, and the
state's chapter of the American College
of Obstitric Obstitricians and
Gynecologists.
The law received support from Kate
Denine, the abortions rights activist
whose son died in uterero at 33 weeks.
Um, what is it saying?
>> I can go to a different website. I was
looking at that was
>> Yeah. So, a lot of people are scared of
this because you can have an abortion
like really late when the baby is a
baby.
>> Yeah. Well, I'm, you know, [ __ ] I'm not
for that, but I'm for a women woman's
right to choose if uh
uh but for the same reason you just
said. I'm not a woman. I don't know what
it's like. I don't want the government
involved in my
>> Well, there's some people that think
even the cases of rape and incest, you
shouldn't be able to, which is crazy.
>> Well, right, because then you get to, if
you're a rapist, you get to go, "Oh,
that's I want that chick to have my
baby." Oh my god.
>> Oh my god.
>> Oh my god.
>> Oh well, whatever.
>> What are we in the medieval days? In the
old Viking days.
>> So, what are we going to do about the
Texas Senate? Uh, you you you met Ty
Rico. You like the guy, right? I did
like him. Uh I like his thoughts on the
ten commandment in schools in public
schools. I don't think I think he's
right and he's a very religious guy and
his position is when you put the ten
commandments in public schools what
you're really doing is you're forcing
Christianity to them and you're not
you're not you're probably pushing them
away from Christianity rather than bring
you're like forcing it on them. And if
you're going to do that, how can you do
that and not have like u scripture from
the Hindu text, scripture from the Book
of Mormon, Muslim, you know, Islamic
text? Why why would why is it just
>> why isn't there a separation of church
and state? That's a state-run
organization. And
>> yes, so his position is that, and I
think you know he's probably right about
this, otherwise he'd get sued, is that
there's a couple like very wealthy
people who are Christian nationalists
and they want to
>> um take over like the school system and
turn Texas like completely Christian.
And uh yeah, I think that's scary. That
kind of [ __ ] is scary because pushing
whatever your ideology is. Look, if you
invite people into your church and you
know you're a person who is of exemplary
character and you're a wonderful guy and
there's something about this guy like,
"Wow, this guy, the way he lives his
life, man, I I really I think he's
really cool and kind. I like to see like
what this church is all about." Like
that's how you get people to be
interested in what you're doing and the
way you're promoting life.
>> You can't be forcefed,
>> but you're forcing it on people. You're
just going to push them away from it. It
always happens that way. it you you
force it. You c you can't decide that
your way is the way that other people
have to live. That's the whole idea of
America is you're supposed to have the
freedom to do whatever the [ __ ] you want
as long as you're not hurting others.
>> And if you want to believe in whatever
some ancient religion that people gave
up on thousands of years ago, who
[ __ ] cares?
>> Yeah. Go ahead.
>> Go ahead.
>> Yeah. I first I I first noticed him when
he really came out against that school
voucher program which I was against also
because I came
>> What was that? Which one was that?
>> School vouchers uh that that they and
they and he he lost. He he fought so
hard against it because they wanted to
give school vouchers. So you could take
this money and go to a private school,
but the only people that were using him
were people that were already had their
kids in private schools. Most Texas
counties don't have a private school and
a private school can also decide who
they want for no reason. they can
eliminate anybody. They'll take a
student or not take a student. And that
came out of the public school system,
that money, and went into the private
school system. And and Taler Rico really
fought hard against that.
>> Uh because we need better teachers. We
need more teachers. We need the public
school system beefed up. Uh we're we're
getting the [ __ ] beat out of us in
education. And I think Terico was really
really good for that. And I think he's a
smart, honest man. I hope he never gets
sucked into the corruption of all the
money like most people do. But, you
know, you really can't put Ken Paxton
back in office in the state of Texas.
That guy's just too corrupt. You know,
he's just
he's just a bad egg and and we don't
need him around here.
>> There's a lot of shenanigans with weed
in this state right now
>> where there's a lot of alcohol lobby
money and a lot of people are trying to
ban weed and they're trying to make it a
felony.
>> They did it.
>> I know. But they're fighting they're
fighting it in court now. There's a
bunch of cases.
>> It's uh it's really stupid.
>> It was such a big step backwards, you
know, and I was asking one of these guys
that owns a head shop, you know, that
that I like, you know, I go in and talk
to them every once in a while. I don't
like that Delta 8 or whatever they were
selling anyway. But but you know,
but these guys really went all in on
these businesses that were legal and all
of a sudden, snap, here, here's the
stuff you got to take out. what he got
left.
>> And uh that's really brutal for somebody
that really, you know, waited all in.
>> Billions of dollars lost thousands of
jobs.
>> And I guess they burned the weed. That's
what I asked him. I said, "What? What'd
you do with all that weed?"
>> Crazy.
>> It's also, look, regulate it and tax it,
you [ __ ] idiots. You're missing out
on so much money. And also, leave grown
adults to do whatever they want to do.
You're not going to convince people that
weed is [ __ ] PCP, okay? You're not.
This ain't Reef for Madness days, right?
Everyone's been kind of candy you throw
out there. We know it's [ __ ]
>> We know what weeded is now. Can you go
crazy if you smoke too much weed? Yeah,
don't smoke too much weed. Can you go
crazy if you drink too much? Yeah, don't
drink too much. It's the same goddamn
thing. Don't tell people what to do,
>> right?
>> You don't have the right. Especially
when I look at these guys, like, you
guys are dorks. You dorks can't decide
what other people do and don't do.
>> And it seems like they, you know, that
that enough of them would have died that
a [laughter] new set of faces would come
around.
>> Well, they're going to lose elections.
I'll tell you that cuz young people
aren't tolerating this [ __ ] anymore.
Like, this is stupid. And not even young
people. Most people most people realize
the only way you can come to this
conclusion that there should be laws and
felonies and people should be locked in
cages for weed is if you are either
[ __ ] or you're on the take.
>> Yeah.
>> It's one of those two things. Either
you're too [ __ ] stupid to be a leader
or you're on the take,
>> right?
>> Cuz this is dumb. And also, you're
missing out on so much tax revenue. How
much does California make in tax
revenue? How much does Colorado make in
tax revenue?
>> A [ __ ] buttload.
>> A buttload.
>> And uh you know,
even when
some weed was legal in the in Texas, I
got mine from Oklahoma anyway. And uh
>> you shouldn't say that online. People,
they'll come for you. That's probably
It's probably like getting those Cuban
cigars,
>> fake, not real Cuban cigars. What how
much revenue does California uh get
every year?
>> Here's [clears throat] a state-by-st
state breakdown.
>> Okay.
>> And we can put [snorts] that money in
the public.
>> 7.765
billion
>> billion dollar.
>> Billion dollars.
>> Wow.
>> That is [ __ ] crazy. That's so much
money. They're missing out on $7 billion
dollar. And they're missing out on how
much did the tax how much did the
alcohol lobby give you? Could have been
7 billion.
>> No, I don't think so.
>> So, somebody is either [ __ ] or
corrupt.
>> Corrupt. Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. And I I'm so sick of it, you know.
I'm so sick of it.
>> Texas could be making a shitload of
revenue with legal marijuana
>> and bring in some goddamn gambling.
We're sending everybody right across the
border to [ __ ] WinStar. Although I
work there, so don't quit [laughter]
going, but uh they they just pour over
just dump money into Winstar because
casino in the world is about 300 yards
north of Texas.
>> What do you think about that? Do you
think that casino should be everywhere?
And what do you think about like the
argument that
>> if you're promoting gambling and you
have these casinos, you're going to ruin
people's lives because you're going to
give them like easy access to something
that they're addicted to. They've
already got excess with [ __ ]
DraftKings, you know. You can you can
gamble from anywhere,
>> but you know, they can still go to
somewhere else and do it. You know, they
go right across the border, go to
Louisiana, go to or fly into Vegas for
$79,
>> right? But there's an argument that you
don't want it in your state. There's an
argument that like if you really care
about the people in your state, you
would probably make it more difficult to
go to these casinos.
>> We have horse racing here, right?
>> Do we?
>> Mhm.
>> Yeah. You gamble on that?
>> Not much. But it's they moved Riosa down
to Texas. The races that were in Riosa,
New Mexico or New America.
>> I remember when uh I was playing pool in
New York, the real gambling junkies,
they would start their day at offtrack
betting, they would go and gamble on
horse races and then they would come
over to the pool hall later in the
afternoon
>> and lose the rest of it.
>> Yeah. Or, you know, or have stories
about how they lost.
That that that's a wild group of folks
that you were hanging out with in uh in
in the New York playing pool, wasn't it?
>> Oh, yeah. Homeless people, junkies, pool
hustlers,
like some of the wildest people I've
ever met in my life. It was really fun.
There was this one place that I used to
go to in New York City. It was called
Chelsea Billiards, and it was a 24-hour
place. And there regularly you you have
guys that were sleeping under tables
>> while it was [laughter] open.
>> Yeah, they because it was open 24 hours.
So at night time when they didn't get
games, they would just crawl under a
table and go to sleep cuz there's a
whole downstairs area that was rarely
used unless it was like really packed,
but it was a real pool hall, a real
24-hour pool hall. I met so many
degenerates there. There's a great book
about that place. There's a break great
book uh called Playing Off the Rail by
this guy David McCumber. Uh he was
Hunter S. Thompson's editor when uh
Hunter S. Thompson was I think he was
working for a newspaper in the Pacific
Northwest for a while. But Cumber is a
very very interesting guy, great writer.
And he took my friend Tony Anagoni who
was a worldclass professional pool
player and they traveled around the
country gambling and wrote this book.
It's a great book. Really like really
accurate, honest book.
>> Playing off the rail.
>> It's called Off the Playing Off the Rail
is the name of the book.
>> Okay. And uh the guy Tony who was a
friend of mine, I did commentary with
him on a pool match once uh in
California back in the 90s. Uh and uh
hung out with him a bunch of times,
played pool with him. And then one day
uh I got a call from a friend of mine
that told me he jumped off the bridge.
>> No [ __ ]
>> 17 when he did that.
>> He was 17. He was stricken with road
fever.
>> No. No. 22 years later he got the
chance. So when he was 17, he tried to
do it.
>> Uh so 22 years later, he got the chance
to follow that dream, not as a player,
but as a stakehorse, financial backer
for Tony Anagoni, a non-smoking,
macrobiotic eating, Renaissance pool
hustler, student of Eastern religion,
and master of the pure green felt poetry
of the Dead Stroke. He was Tony was a
brilliant guy, like an incredible pool
player. And again, didn't smoke, didn't
drink. He would uh play for like 24
hours and he would only drink water.
He'd play these like long gambling
matches with like high-end pool players.
He was like a world champion caliber
pool player. But uh he jumped off the
bridge, man. No [ __ ]
>> Yeah. I don't know what was going on,
you know. I I wasn't close with him at
the time. I hadn't seen him in a few
years. You know, he was living in San
Francisco. I was living in LA.
And then um somebody called me
It's um it's such a scary thing when you
you don't know that [snorts] a guy would
do that and then they do it and you're
like you're always like what could I
have done? Could I have said something?
You know, sometimes someone will call
you and say something. It picks you up
and you Joey Diaz will do that all the
time. He just call you up, tell you he
loves you.
>> Yeah, he does that to me.
>> He's the best. [laughter]
And he I do it to him, too. It's like it
feels good. It's like you you you check
in check in with your friends. Yeah. And
sometimes when your friend's going
through it and you don't know the extent
of it, like a lot of men are stoic about
that [ __ ] They don't tell you how bad
they're suffering. They don't tell you
what's going on. You don't know until
it's over. And then you're always like,
"What could I could I have said
something? Could I have done something?
Should I told other people? What could I
have done?"
>> Yeah.
>> Like Brody. Brody was a rough one. Brody
was a rough one. I had no idea. You
know, I knew Brody was struggling. I
never thought he would take his own
life. I thought he was just like he just
struggled, you know, like to keep it
together, but he would get on stage and
he'd be brilliant. And I was like, "This
guy's clearly like great comic,
hilarious guy. Awesome, awesome guy to
be around. Everybody loved hanging
around with him." Like, he'll be fine. I
had no idea. And then all of a sudden,
you get that call. You're like, "Brody
took his own life." You're like, "What?
No." You know, like you like what? You
can't even believe you don't believe
it's real. It's like how what it say
again. I don't believe it's real.
>> Well, if anybody ever says that I killed
myself, I didn't. [laughter]
>> I am not that kind of person. You go
find out, Joe, who killed me.
>> I will find out. Yeah, I won't believe
it.
>> You would.
>> Yeah,
>> I knew you would.
>> I will. Oh, that's what I was going to
tell you that I I went to that trip in
Switzerland and then um
>> and then uh we were taking a ride in a
car for two and a half hours to uh from
Zerat to Interlockan and I had this
driver from England
uh Andrew and he had married a girl from
Switzerland and moved there 12 years
ago. And uh and when I was in in uh
Paris, I really was expecting to get
some anti-American sentiment because
they don't really like us that much
anyway. But I really didn't feel it. And
I'm like, "Oh, well, maybe I'm building
this up more than it is." But in
Switzerland and uh and also in northern
Italy, I felt like I'm getting the cold
shoulder and in these places. And I
asked him about it. And I said, "Is this
in my head?" Uh, he goes, "Uh, mate, if
you want to know the truth, they don't
like your [ __ ] war.
>> They don't like your war. They th those
guys can hit everybody but you and
you're slinging missiles and and uh then
they also don't like the tariffs. If
you're doing things over there to [ __ ]
you up, they don't care.
>> But if it [ __ ] us up,
>> yeah, we we care." I'm like, "Well, I
didn't have anything to do with it." And
uh but but that that war is is sitting
pretty pretty nasty with just about
everybody. I think
>> everybody here too. There's very few
people here that think it's a good idea.
>> The only people that I've heard that I
think are very intelligent people that
think it's a good idea. One of them was
Palmer Lucky. Palmer Lucky is a tech
guy, very very smart guy. And one of the
things that he was on a a podcast and he
was explaining was um that Iran had
ramped up its missile production like
above and beyond and they they were like
actively accelerating their missile
program and if they did acquire a nuke
it would have been a real problem
because they have an insane reserve of
missiles is what he was saying. and he's
saying if we continue to allow them to
ramp that up and obviously
the t other thing people have said is
the timing was poor and that really if
the United States was going to attack
Iran they should have attacked Iran when
they had the protests when they had
people in the streets and they were
revoling against the government and the
government was executing civilians
that's the time and if they did it then
I bet the whole world would be with them
and I bet the people probably would be
with them the people of Iran would be
with them who knows what the [ __ ] would
have happened would have been a
different thing Yeah,
>> but [snorts] the timing was way off. And
his position
is also interesting because he makes
weapons, right? He makes drones. He
makes like super sophisticated military
technology, but he does it because he
thinks it's well, also it's his
business, but he does it his rationale
is that it's important to have a very
strong defense and that he's a patriot.
That's his position. and his position is
that this government is a dangerous
government and they were actively trying
to ramp up their missile program. Again,
you have to take it from perspective
that he's also a weapons man,
>> right? He's also he is a brilliant guy.
>> Yeah, I've seen
>> and it's not like they're like the
Iranian government's really cool and
we're misrepresenting him. They're
[ __ ] executing people for protesting
against the government. They're doing
that in the street. They they run their
government. They run their country with
an iron fist. It's scary. They there
they definitely sponsor terrorism. They
definitely do. But also, you know, they
they've been attacked. They've been
overthrown. You know, we installed their
government.
>> Yeah.
>> You know, like we monkeyied what they
they in the 70 or the 50s, whatever it
was, when you see those photographs of
it, like it was very western. Like they
were they had a democracy.
>> Yeah. It looked nice over there.
>> Yeah. We [clears throat] [ __ ] it all
up. It was a big part of us [ __ ] it
all up. And I bet a lot of it had to do
with oil.
>> I bet it did. I bet it did.
>> It's so spooky the the kind of [ __ ] that
we've been doing and they've been doing
and all these governments have been
doing all around the world monkeying
with other people's [ __ ] countries.
It's like Jesus Christ, everybody's out
there playing Russian roulette. Like
what the [ __ ] are you doing?
>> Yeah. You know, Israel is right in the
middle of all that missile slinging
also, you know. And
>> but boy, they don't like it. [laughter]
They don't like it. And I don't think
they understood that the only thing that
keeping uh
Iran from bombing other people was us.
So when we started bombing them, they're
like, "What the fuck?"
>> Yeah.
>> I'm going to start shooting some stuff
out to Bajar andQatar.
And
>> that's the other thing is all the other
Gulf states that support the uh attack
in Iran. That's kind of nuts. is all the
you know all those other countries like
Saudi Arabia and Qatar and all they
support it like they don't want Iran to
get a nuclear weapon they don't want
Iran to have that kind of power but most
people in America are like what this was
the whole reason why what one of the
things that people loved about Trump was
no more [ __ ] wars
>> no more wars
>> no more unnecessary wars
>> that was the one thing I couldn't argue
with you know like okay well then yeah
we don't need to be in a war
>> yeah and that's what we
you know, but it seems like we're in
one.
>> Seems like it. They won't call it that,
but that's uh what it seems like to me.
>> What are they calling it? A conflict.
>> Conflict. Military conflict. Same as
Vietnam.
>> Jesus Christ.
>> Yeah. It's like that like that was a
good idea.
>> I looked up something crazy last night.
[clears throat] I just like I think I
asked Grock or one of the things like
how many
>> could you talk just a little louder?
>> Sure. How many years has the United
States been in conflicts? I think just
like in general total and it said that
like only from the years from 19 or
sorry 1891 to 1897
were we not in a conflict and since
World War II we've been in some sort of
something every year.
>> Yeah.
>> Every single year since whatever 45.
>> Not a thing like Switzerland. [laughter]
>> We're in all of them. All of them. Woo.
>> And I think it's uh I think it's that a
lot of it is just exactly what you were
talking about is the the big machine
that is defense. You know,
>> it's a huge machine. The budget is
insane. The amount of money is insane
and they want to keep making that money.
>> That's why we don't have our highspeed
rails.
>> Also, they try to do that in California.
It seems like people stole the money. I
don't know what the [ __ ] they did there.
You know how much they spent on the
highspeed rail in California?
>> It's insane. It's like they haven't even
laid the tracks yet. They've spent
billions. They're way over budget. It's
going to take forever. And even then,
there's a part that you have to take a
bus. You get to like Yeah. Who's
explaining that to us?
>> Not a high-speed bus either. A regular
bus.
>> No, it's a regular bus. Regular bus. You
You take the highspeed goes to a very
short distance. You get off, you get on
a bus, and you go from like Bakersfield
to LA on a bus. [laughter]
They spent they spent billions billions
of dollars on this
>> at the end of it.
>> Oh, it's so stupid.
>> Take a bus where you're going.
>> It's so stupid. And then they had Gavin
Newsome like posed in front of trains
the other day. Did like a press
conference like talking about how
they're moving forward with the
highspeed rail. Like [ __ ] that thing
ain't ever going to work. It's just a
grift. They're just stealing money
[sighs]
like those goddamn condors.
>> What about the condors?
I don't think they're real.
>> What do you mean?
>> I [laughter] just don't think they're
real. I don't think there's a shortage
of them. I don't I think we just got the
right amount of condors and it's
[snorts] nature's way of taking care of
itself. It's an ugly bird.
>> So, do you think that um when people
were saying that the condors were
endangered, do you think that there's a
grift attached to that?
>> That's what [snorts] I think.
>> What would be the grift?
>> The grift is give us money so we can
save these condors
>> and then boom, you got money. And uh you
saving condors with it. Well, we don't
know.
>> Are your position that condors should be
allowed to go extinct?
>> What
>> should they be allowed to go extinct?
>> If they want to, they leave it up to the
condors. If they don't want to [ __ ]
anymore, quit [ __ ]
>> One of the things that they've said was
that uh a lot of them were dying from
lead poisoning from bullets from
hunters. And so they made the hunter
switch over to uh copper bullets. Do you
know that?
>> And that didn't
>> California you have to have copper
bullets now. in your shotgun.
>> Yeah. And in rifles, too. Like if you
shoot an elk with a rifle in California,
you have to have a copper bullet.
>> No [ __ ]
>> Yeah. And I think
>> Do you use copper bullets anyway?
>> No, I don't. I don't really hunt with a
rifle.
>> Oh, you're just a bow guy, right?
>> Yeah. Um but
it's it's effective. They work. I've
I've killed an elk with a copper bullet
before. Does work. I shot an elk in
California with a rifle. But it's um
it's weird because I don't know if
that's really what's killing the
condors. I don't know if does that
really how many birds die from lead
poisoning from bullets. That seems kind
of
>> they they fly awfully high.
>> How many hunters are losing animals that
there's there's that many bullets that
are just laying around that birds are
eating?
>> I don't think that's right. That seems
like a weird connection. Like I see if
like if a bird made a habit of eating
lead, yeah, that'd be [ __ ] terrible
for you. But is that really affecting
the population? There's that much lead
out there.
>> I wouldn't think so.
>> It sounds kooky.
>> Yeah.
>> But I don't know.
>> I don't either.
>> You know, but this, you know, there's
always these weird
like regulations they put down on things
to protect wildlife. It gets super
squirrely.
I don't Is there any data that shows
that animals were dying from lead
poisoning for bullets?
Why would I wonder why they would make
because like California just passed some
crazy law where they uh made 70% of all
tires illegal.
What
>> I know
>> 70% of
>> 70 70% of the tires that are being sold
in California will now be illegal. They
>> what? some crazy new regulations about
what kind of tires you're allowed to
have,
>> what they're made out of,
>> how they're made, their construction
method, the quality of them, blah blah
blah, what, how efficient they are,
whatever it is, 70%.
>> What are they going to use for tires?
>> Well, they're just going to be able to
sell 30% of the tires. They're they're
going to have to sell more of those
tires, but it's going to probably cost
the consumer a lot more money. It's
probably going to [ __ ] up the
manufacturers, [ __ ] up their businesses.
Um, and it's uh some regulation that's
supposed to work with uh it's supposed
to save gas somehow. The more efficient
tires over time will save millions of
gallons of gas. Like, stay the [ __ ] out
of people's business, you [ __ ]
California has approved a new
replacement tire efficiency program. Not
a ban on tires you already own, right?
But it but it bans the tires you can
sell. This is a weird way to frame it.
It regulates
>> your tires are going to wear out and
then you got to replace them with these.
>> It regulates which new replacement tires
may be sold in California for pasture
vehicles.
>> What changes? California Energy
Commission unanimously unanimously
adopted the rule on August 17th, 2026.
It purpose is to ensure replacement
tires are on average at least as energy
efficient as original equipment tires
fitted to new vehicles. The key
technical measure is rolling resistance.
Lower rolling resistance generally means
less energy is needed to keep the tire
rolling, which can improve gas mileage
or EV range. So, it's basically like you
can't buy cheap tires. You have to buy
the same kind of tires that your car
came with.
>> Well, so they're really kind of putting
a ban on shitty tires. Are there people
out there just making shitty tires and
they're trying to get rid of them?
>> Well, they're probably making tires that
are less expensive and still pretty
good. Like if you're driving a Camry, do
you really need original equipment
tires? Your car sucks. Your car has
>> Oh, no. I would be looking for the
cheapest tire I could put on that car
just to get to the next payday.
>> Exactly. So, if you're broke and you're
different, the difference is like a $79
tire or a $59 tire and it's basically
the same to you.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Just put them on the camera.
>> Yeah. And now all of a sudden these tire
shops, they can't sell them anymore.
What? So, what if you have inventory? Do
you have to get rid of your inventory?
Do I have to dump all my What if What if
you're a guy like you works at Tires RS?
And you know, you said, you know, it'd
be cool if I could ensure that I had
every [ __ ] tire for 90% of the cars
right away. I'll stack them. I'll stock
them here. And that way I'll get a whole
ton of business. We have your tires,
right? And then all a sudden you got to
get rid of all those tires.
>> We ain't got your tire no more.
>> That's crazy.
>> Seems like there'd be a lot of other
things to worry about. Well, I have my
buddy Matt who was at the club last
night. His house burnt down in the
Pacific Palisades fire and the He's
like, "The regulations you're going
through to try to rebuild your house are
[ __ ] insane." He's like, "We're not
even close to starting construction."
And he's got money and he, you know,
he's like, he could just start
construction.
>> They're just going to change the way
they build houses there to make them
less fireproof.
>> I don't know what they're doing, man.
They're just making it the regulations
are insane. It's just like there's so
much red tape before you can begin
construction again. Whereas in Texas, if
your house burnt down, you go, "Oh,
here's the plans for the new house."
They go, "It looks good. It's up to
code."
>> Y
>> good luck. Build your [ __ ] house. And
you just build your house. That's it.
>> Right.
>> You're on that California Coastal
Commission,
>> bro. Yeah.
>> They are brutal. Those people are
brutal.
>> Yeah. I'm I'm glad I'm out of the uh
real estate [ __ ]
>> the California real estate.
>> California. Yeah. Well,
>> I'm glad I got out when I did.
>> A lot of people are trying to get out
now.
>> Yeah,
>> I know a bunch of friends that are
trying to get out and they can't sell
their house.
>> But I got to tell you, I still love uh
Southern California, man. I love to go
out there and play golf and hang out
with my you know, I still know a lot of
people down there. Southern California
is beautiful, you know? That [ __ ]
that [ __ ] climate is just untouchable
anywhere in the world,
>> which is amazing that they [ __ ] it up
so bad that people want to move from
there.
>> Yeah,
>> cuz it's awesome. It's not just awesome.
It's like the variety of environments
you can get to within two hours is
crazy.
>> Remember you were going to buy that big
ranch out in Monaceto or Santa Barbara
or something.
>> I didn't even know you had money then.
Whenever you first told me that, I was
like, "Oh, yeah.
>> All right. You have no idea what it
costs to buy a [ __ ] piece of property
and [ __ ] what do you got? A podcast
and a couple of [ __ ] shows."
>> First time I did your podcast, I didn't
even know what it was.
>> I was like, "You'd asked me to do it." I
said, "I got I come do your podcast."
And I had no idea. It was [ __ ]
millions of people and it sold books and
tickets and I'm like, "God damn, Joe,
what do you got going on over here?"
>> Well, it was, you know, back then it was
like kind of under the radar. People
didn't know what a podcast was, but
still millions of people were listening
to them.
>> How many subscribers do you have now? Do
you even know?
>> I think on YouTube, what do we have? 20
something.
>> Yeah, we're over 20, I think. 20 million
on YouTube and
>> same on both.
>> Same on Spotify. It's like 20 million
subscribers. [ __ ]
>> That's a lot of people.
>> Yeah, that's
what I was talking to Angela about it
this morning and uh she said, "What what
are you doing? I'm doing Joe's uh
podcast. I'm going to go talk to 20
million people and I really don't have
anything to say." So, uh she goes,
"Well, Joe will lead you through it.
You'll be fine." And I'm like, I know,
but it's still 20 million [ __ ]
people.
>> You can't think about it.
>> Yeah, I know.
>> If you think about it, it'll [ __ ] your
head.
>> I just started thinking about it. [ __ ]
me up.
>> Don't do it. Let it go.
>> Do I know any of them? I know a lot of
them.
>> Listen, they're just folks like you and
me. That's why it works.
>> Yeah.
>> You know, we just have uh lucky lives.
>> We have lucky [clears throat] lives,
Joe.
>> Very lucky lives.
>> Lucky lives.
>> That's the best way to put it. I'm going
to do uh you know next week I'm
celebrating 40 years in uh standup
comedying. September 17th, 1986 is when
I first started telling jokes.
>> Where you are you doing a set that
night?
>> I am. I got a show at uh in Dallas that
night.
>> Oh, nice.
>> And uh and uh and I'm leaving this
weekend for the first I've been off for
four months. So, I'm going to Florida, I
think Daytona and I don't know, couple
>> I always love to do stand up in Dallas.
Dallas is a fun city.
>> Yeah, it is.
>> That's fun. I always love Dallas. I
always loved Houston and I always love
Dallas.
>> Yeah, I love Houston, too. I just have
that one big play out in Katy in that
big gigantic room out there. And I don't
even go into Houston anymore. I just go
to Katy. That's as far as I go.
>> What is the place?
>> Oh, I don't know. It's that 6,000
seater. You played it, right? That big
old huge thing. They can block parts of
it off. Yeah. Yeah, I do that spot.
Yeah.
>> Big [ __ ] I I think they change the
name of it every two years, you know,
put a new sponsor on it. Was a Toyota
something.
>> Yeah, they always do stuff like that,
right?
>> That's always weird.
>> It's always a bank or some corporation
or something. So,
>> I could never find a room in that town
that I liked was there was the the the
really nice one was too small and they
had this big concrete vomitorium
downtown that used to be a rock house.
So you could just wash vomit out of it
with a [ __ ] hose. Had a lady fall out
of the [ __ ] balcony 26 ft. Landed on
another lady, flattened a [ __ ] metal
chair.
>> Oh no.
>> Both of them left. And I thought a light
fell from the sky. I didn't know. I was
on stage and people are going
people screaming. I'm like [ __ ] [ __ ]
And turn the lights on and we got
[ __ ] ambulance [ __ ] stretchers
coming out. They both left on [ __ ]
stretchers. Oh my god.
>> And uh big lady too. Buck 80 [ __ ]
flattened another woman and her chair.
>> Oh.
>> Then the next show, the same night, guy
has a heart attack and dies. And I'm
like, is this an Indian burial ground or
some [ __ ] Jesus Christ. [laughter]
What the [ __ ] And that but and that was
my only play there. And then they opened
that big building out in Katie. I'm
like, okay, this is mine, boys.
>> That place is haunted.
>> [ __ ] Yeah, I'm not going back.
>> Have you ever talked to anybody else
that had weird things happen in that
place?
>> Uh, I really hadn't, but I, you know, I
>> Two nights, two or two shows.
>> Two shows in one night. Yeah. And I
always thought, man, these balconies are
awfully [ __ ] steep cuz [laughter] you
could go up there and sit in it and go,
"How do people What keeps them from
falling over?" Nothing. Not a goddamn
thing. Woman just lost her balance and
went right over the [ __ ] edge.
Whenever I see those pen houses in
Miami, I think of that. I was watching
some YouTube video where there was when
one of I like watching those real estate
shows where guys like, "Look at this
incredible apartment. Look at the
amenity." I like I don't know why I'm a
[ __ ] I like watching
>> I like real estate [ __ ]
>> I like watching condos and places I'll
never buy a condo. So, he's at this uh
crazy condo that's a penthouse in Miami.
It's like $70 million and it's got this
glass wall that's like titty high and
then down like 70 flights. It's this
glass wall and then look over the side.
Like I can't swing that.
>> I don't like that feeling.
>> I don't like it worse if I have my phone
in my hand
>> because I can fall off. That's fine, but
I can't let that phone go.
>> What if the phone hits somebody in the
head and kills them?
>> That'd be on you, wouldn't it?
>> It would be on you. It'd be easy to
trace that [ __ ] right on back to
where it came from.
>> Be hard. It's just like the the balcony
thing. Like I see that in New York City,
too. Some of those apartments that have
balconies and you just look over the
ledge. Like that's too weird. It's too
weird that there's a place in your house
where you could definitely die if you
take an extra step.
>> All right.
>> I would say don't live in a place where
you could definitely die if you take an
extra step. [laughter]
>> Just generally as a rule.
>> That's got to [ __ ] with your anxiety,
too. Imagine getting high up there and
looking down.
>> I've I've still got that penthouse, but
it's only 22 floors.
>> That's enough.
>> Yeah, that's plenty.
>> I've been to your place. That's enough.
That's more than enough to die.
>> More than enough.
>> I live like 600 feet in the sky.
>> I know you do, dude. You live way the
>> I have I asked someone who lives up
there, too. I have a couple weird dreams
sometimes where like the building is
falling over. It's not like a crash or a
big event, but like it's just weird
inception like mindbending
just falling to the ground very slowly
and weirdly. It's [ __ ] because you can
feel the the sway. I see my toilet water
move all the time.
>> [ __ ] that, dude. Get out. Get out. Where
you live? Don't say it. I'm going to say
I live downtown also.
>> Don't get out now.
>> Get out. Get yourself a place in view.
>> You can't like the view is insane.
>> Oh yeah, your view is sick. Yeah. Yeah,
I mean there's pros to it for sure. Like
whenever I'm in New York City, if I know
somebody that has an apartment, my
friend's dad had an apartment in New
York City and he had like this corner
building like uh this building where his
uh his apartment had glass on one side,
glass on the other side. It was just all
city and it was in the middle of
everything and I was like this is the
view. Like a lot of people have the view
of like the city in the distance, but
the city right on top of you and he was
like, you know, like 30th floor or
something like that and there's all
these other buildings. It's like like a
sci-fi movie, you know? It's like it's
so exciting. Just the feeling of all
these lit windows and all these
buildings around you and looking down,
seeing the cars and traffic,
>> all the [ __ ] stories, man, that
everybody has, you know,
>> and everybody's like watching everybody
else. Everybody's got [ __ ]
binoculars. They're looking into other
people's windows and seeing if people
are [ __ ] people.
>> I got a big old [ __ ] tripod.
I had seen Titty One with it. I don't
know how much I spent on that goddamn
thing. I [clears throat] haven't seen
one tit.
>> The New York City thing I I kind of get,
but I don't. I mean, I I think I get it.
If you if I was a single guy and I was
younger, I kind of get it. But someone
like to me, I'm just being on top of
people like that is not good for you. I
don't think it's good for you to be
smooshed in with so many people like to
feel all their vibe around you all the
time.
>> Yeah. I I love to go there. there. I
used to take my mother, my mother used
to go, loved to go to [ __ ] theater
there. So I mother was alive, I would
take her to New York and we went to see
Phantom Opera and like halfway through
it, I leaned over to mother and said, I
didn't realize it was an opera. Well,
it's in the name. I'm [laughter] like, I
know, but I still didn't know it was
going to be Oh, you thought it was going
to be like the
>> a play of Yeah. I didn't know it was
going to be just a straight up [ __ ]
opera. I wouldn't have gone. [laughter]
But we also went to see Book of Mormon
with the the original cast and that was
so [ __ ] funny, man.
>> Book of Mormon's amazing.
>> God, what a great [ __ ] those [ __ ]
South Park boys. South America,
>> didn't Yeah, they changed the name of
their show to South America for Trump.
>> Yeah, I think it's
>> an episode. No, it's the next year.
That's what it's going to be called.
Yep. [laughter]
>> That was the best joke. I laughed out
loud. I read it on my phone by myself at
the house and laughed out loud. Like,
that is [ __ ] rich. Oh, it's so silly.
>> Those guys, you can't [ __ ] with those
guys. They're funny and they don't give
a [ __ ]
>> and they're super rich.
>> Yeah, super [ __ ] rich.
>> The website has it as South America now.
[laughter]
>> [ __ ] amazing. I I couldn't live
without South Park.
>> That means we'll get a new theme song,
man.
>> They're like the only thing that Comedy
Central didn't [ __ ] up.
>> They were too big for Comedy Central,
you know? They they had us so much
power, you know, with the success of
that show. I guess they don't [ __ ] with
us.
>> I remember when the first tape was going
around, the VHS tape.
>> Yeah.
>> What would Brian Bano do? Remember that?
[laughter]
>> What would Brian Bano do if he weren't
here right now?
>> He'd make a plan and follow through.
>> That's back before the internet.
>> That's what's really crazy. South Park
was around before the internet was
everywhere. So, this was probably like
95,
right? Yeah, I think so. When did uh the
first
>> It debuted on uh Comedy Central in 99, I
think, or 97,
>> but there was a tape that they had made
that was going around and
>> there was the spirit of Christmas and
there's something that I think that's
Jesus for Santa Cl.
>> Yeah,
>> it was a Christmas card or something.
>> Yeah. What year was that made?
>> Cuz I remember I was dating a gal who
worked in an agency and she got a copy
of it.
>> This says 95, but something just said
92. Hold on.
>> Interesting. So it was like the internet
really became a thing in people's
>> first released that's weird. Something
was released in '92 and then something
in 95.
>> Okay.
>> The first in '92 short films. So I think
>> I guess it would have been Jesus.
>> The earliest that I could have seen it
was 95 I believe.
>> Jesus the kids play place the m magic
hat on Frosty. Huh.
>> I don't really remember that one, but
definitely remember sitting in the
second one, Jesus and Santa.
>> So, when was the internet really in
everybody's house? I got the internet
for the first time in 94. When did you
get the internet?
>> Uh 90 I got CompuServe first like AO
it's like 95 96.
>> What was Comperve? What was the
difference between that and
>> it was like AOL like chat rooms and
>> Yeah, I had AOL. Yeah.
>> I still don't have the internet.
[laughter] I still don't have it. But
I'm going to get
>> You don't have internet at your house
>> this year. This year you gonna get it?
>> I do. I do.
>> I don't use it, but I've got it.
>> It's good to not use it. You're smart
about that [ __ ]
>> Oh, I can't.
>> Yeah.
>> I can't I cannot read what people
[ __ ] say. And then every once in a
while I think I can for a second and I'm
like, "No, you just don't put it down."
cuz when we were raising money, by the
way, I got to tell you, and I may have
already told you, but
uh you know, [snorts] when we bought the
the uh SH, the Sherp or whatever the
[ __ ] it was, that fire truck,
>> they used that one year later to save
lives. One year later, that same storm
system hit that same riverbed and they
used that thing for days just and they
talked about it on the news. And then
now they have two of them and they said
one of them was given by Joe Rogan and
Ron White
>> and I was that made me so proud that we
were able to do something that really
made a [ __ ] difference, you know, and
uh
>> No, that's really awesome. That's really
awesome we could do that. I mean, that's
a no-brainer. That's a real thing that
can help people. That's so cool.
>> Those things look crazy, too.
>> Oh, they're so fun, man. I took it down
the river and [ __ ] you go up any bank
over giant rocks. The thing will go in.
You can't stop it. You just can't stop
it.
fun thing to have the [ __ ] go sideways.
That area gets hit a lot, right? Is that
like Wimberly? Is that that area?
>> Yeah. Well, you know, you really
It was that unique storm system, but it
happened [ __ ] twice.
>> There that baby is.
>> Yeah. I don't know if I I don't know if
I sent this to you. I forgot. This is
the one you guys got money for.
>> That's it. That's the one we bought,
Ron. Look at that. That's so dope.
>> That's the coolest thing.
>> Wow. That thing's incredible.
Taking all those kids. That's so fun.
Yeah, they they took that thing all the
way across Greenland,
>> right across the middle of Greenland. It
took weeks and weeks to do it, but they
took it all the way across. Just nothing
stopping that son of a They put gas in
the tires and they can run it for only
got a 55 horsepower motor.
>> Oh wow.
>> And uh but it's all torque, so it
doesn't go very fast, but it and it
needs to get good gas mileage, right?
Because it needs to get into weird
places. But they can put gas in those
gigantic tires and uh
off of that.
>> So, you can suck the gas out of the tire
while you're driving. How do you even
get the gas out of the tire?
>> Like, if the tire's spinning,
>> I don't know how it works, but
>> that doesn't make any sense to me.
>> Yeah.
>> I'm trying to figure out how that makes
sense. Like, how are you going to get
the gas out of the tires?
>> It It just I don't know. They rigged up,
I guess. I don't know. They got a line
that goes to it.
>> But the line spinning if the tires
spinning,
>> but also the tires deflate completely at
night. I mean it it it'll and then it it
airs itself back up. Uh
>> wa do that.
>> But I asked him a million questions
before I before I bought the [ __ ]
thing.
>> Whoa. Look at that thing. That's nuts.
>> This is a video explaining the fuel
system. I don't know if I guess
the rim.
>> Each wheel has its own tank. Each wheel
has it own balances weight evenly so
sharp doesn't tilt. Even if one [music]
tank is empty, the shirt remains stable.
Cool fact, tires are self-regulating
while driving, they adjust air pressure
via exhaust gas. No onboard compressor
needed. So go ahead, shoot one tire.
Shirp keeps rolling.
>> Whoa.
>> I guess it did not explain the
>> what's up with fuel in those sharp
wheels. Let's break it down. If you
shoot the tire, will it explode? Will
Sherp tilt if just one wheel has fuel?
Yes, the fuel [music] is stored in the
wheel hubs separated from the air
chamber.
>> There's sealed tanks inside the rim.
>> Each wheel has its own tank, but the
system balances weight evenly.
>> There you go.
>> Center of it.
>> So, you have to take them off to refuel.
That's what it is. That makes more
sense.
>> Okay,
>> that makes more sense. Still very
genius, [ __ ]
>> great way to store fuel.
>> Yeah, they're made in the Ukraine. And
the guy told me we just take them out to
the front, let the Russians shoot at it
and then bring it back and figure out
another way to build it that they just
keep on going. They got plenty of room
to test it. And that's all mud out there
anyway in the Ukraine. So they that's
you know that's where that was all
conceived and and uh
>> and cool as [ __ ] You know what a what a
great [ __ ] little vehicle. Nobody
needs one really unless you live right
out there on the river and you want to
help in a flood. But uh
>> or you got a crazy ranch.
>> Crazy ranch. one of those guys.
>> Just change where you're plugging into.
>> Okay. So, he can do it right. You don't
have to take it off. You can just go
right from those tanks.
>> Okay.
>> And that's how you pump fuel into your
tank and drive it. That's nuts.
Oh, if you have a crazy ranch or if
you're on a front line, it's probably a
good vehicle to have. That Wimberly area
does get hit hard, right? They get those
flash floods. Well, they [snorts] got
two of them, you know, and in almost
exactly a year apart, both of them right
at Fourth of July weekend and um but I
don't know if it it was supposed to be
like a thousand-year event and then it
happened a year later and [laughter]
well that wasn't a thousand-y year event
or a hundredyear flood or it was a
one-year flood. But I don't know if it's
a constant problem. I mean, yeah. Yeah.
All those river
if it gets a storm stuck over that
everything is granite, right? So it all
just [ __ ] runs all over the place and
feeds into the Guadalupy and and then it
goes nuts.
>> Yeah, those flood zones are nuts when
you you see like what can happen like
how high the water can get to and how
quick it can happen.
>> Yeah, we we drove it just the other day
and uh just to see still you can still
see the devastation. But that camp
Mystic is just sitting right there. I
didn't see it the first time I went down
there and uh but boy it's just right
there with Camp Mystic written right in
big letters right on it and I'm like god
damn how could they not see that that
>> might be a problem but it never had been
you know it had to take the worst thing
and the worst place and you know
communication out there and I know they
blame a lot of it on somebody Biden or
somebody but but it really was not
foreseeable you know the
from from my perspective And I I really
did look at it. I mean, I I I did uh you
know, I I I I I gathered as much
information as I could and I'm like,
"Yeah, they they couldn't have done
anything about that."
>> Just a horrible horrible [ __ ] thing.
But um you know, life goes on. We all
learn lessons. And um you know, I I
don't think that Mystic Camp will ever
open again, which is too bad.
>> It tried opening up again.
>> Yeah. I think too many people bucked up
against it now.
>> Yeah. Well,
>> such understand gorgeous place though
right there on the [ __ ] river. It was
there for a hundred years or something.
I mean it
>> that's nuts.
>> Yeah. But uh
>> did you see that um that crazy uh
avalanche that broke the dam in Nepal?
>> Yeah, I was over there when that
happened and I mean not in Nepal but I
mean I was overseas and it was every
news cycle was just nothing about that.
>> That's ins that was insane. And I wonder
if that situation is in other places up
there where there the big ice dams and
whatever. I mean, I wonder if that's
going to be something that happens as
those glacier caps start to melt and
they are melting because the the rivers
were running like crazy when I was uh in
Switzerland and and they were worried
about it because normally they would not
be getting that much water, but those
ice they had a really hot summer and
those ice caps are keeping those rivers
running. You imagine your your whole
city's existence is tied to whether or
not you have an avalanche.
>> Yeah.
>> And you're sitting there like please
please no rock slides.
>> Yeah.
>> I think the rock slide is it is that
what caused the Nepal thing? There was
an avalanche that came down and and
[ __ ] up the dam. Is that what it
>> No, the avalanche came down and blocked
and that's what made the lake. Then the
glacier broke off and landed in the lake
and busted that down the down the chute.
So, there were actually two events.
>> Oh,
>> the the rock slide made a lake, then the
>> How long did it take for everything to
happen?
>> Well, I mean, once it broke.
>> No, but it was [clears throat] really
quick with the rock slide, like between
the rock
>> I don't know. I don't know what the
distance was between the rock slide and
the and the avalanche.
>> [ __ ] man.
>> But it was a pretty big lake. And uh
>> the water watching the water wash over
those people was insane.
>> It was horrible.
>> Insane. And the speed in which it came
and the volume. Oh, just knocking things
completely down.
>> Shattered ice and rock flowed down at
speeds approaching 150 km an hour,
kicking off a flood that raised water
levels as much as 9 m in 30 minutes.
>> 30 minutes. Oh,
>> duck.
>> It's just the way it w like this idea
people have like, oh, the water's
coming. You'd be able to run like
>> no, you know, we watched that video
like, oh, you don't have a chance. You
can't go anywhere. There's no there just
nowhere to hide. And the volume was a
wall just a giant like a building size
wall of water.
>> Boulders and logs and ice,
>> cars and everything. And you're just
going to get crushed.
>> It's not just water.
>> Yeah.
>> It's everything the water's carrying
with it. Insanely heavy [ __ ]
>> Stupid. Stupid [snorts]
[ __ ]
mayhem. Just total mayhem. Yeah, natural
disasters are [ __ ] crazy. When you
see all the meteor spots on Earth, all
the little all the little [ __ ] holes
in the ground that where they, you know,
like this one Australia that they didn't
discover until fairly recently.
>> I saw something on that.
>> Look at that. Hit by an asteroid right
there. Huh. When did that happen?
>> An asteroid the size of a house.
>> Yeah, it was one one in Nevada. This
crazy one in Nevada. It's just this
[ __ ] gigantic crater.
>> Have you ever seen that one? Yeah, I've
seen it.
>> [ __ ] man. How how often does that
happen?
>> I don't think it's happened in a long
time. And we hope it's going to be a
little while before it happens again.
>> The time scale of Earth is so vast and
the time scale of a person is so small
that many many people can die, live and
die, live and die, live and die and it
doesn't happen. And we say, "Oh, the
odds of it happening very low." But
really, it's just random. it can happen.
And if it does, boom, no more
civilization.
>> Well, yeah, but now we could shoot them
down, right?
>> No,
>> we can't.
>> No,
>> we can't stop them.
>> I don't think they're ready for that
yet. No, I don't think um they're ready
in any way to stop something big that's
headed our way. I don't think so. I
think they have some theories. They've
never done it. Uh, I don't know how much
time, effort, and or resources have been
put into making sure that if a
civilization killer asteroid has coming
our way that we can all join together
and launch rockets from China and Russia
and everywhere else and knock that thing
off course. I don't know.
>> Put Elon on it.
>> Yeah,
>> he'll fix it.
>> He might be able to. He might be one of
the only guys
>> Yep.
>> that can figure out how to stop
something like that. But I don't know if
they even know when those things are
coming. You know, some of them are
coming from behind the sun and they
don't see them until it's too late.
>> What do you think about uh uh
limiting how much people can contribute
to a political
party?
>> I think I I think I think if anybody
there should be a set amount that
anybody can donate and if they donate
one dime more than that, they're hung by
the neck until dead [laughter] is that's
what I think. and and keep keep the
billionaires out of politics.
>> Um I think also you could say the same
thing about corporations and then
>> absolutely
>> also you could say the same thing about
lobbyists.
>> Absolutely. There's a lot of influence
on our politics that I think should be
eliminated. And money in politics is is
it's so ingrained. It's so entangled in
politics. Like the idea of removing it
entirely seems ridiculous to people. But
if it didn't exist and you said, "Hey,
what do you think about like letting
corporations, you know, those ones that
dump [ __ ] into rivers and pollute
ecosystems and do a lot of funky [ __ ] in
third world countries they're not
supposed to do? What do you think about
having them contribute so much money to
our politics that they have incredible
influence over regulations that get
passed?
>> Absolutely.
>> What a great idea.
>> Yeah. [laughter] I wish I was one.
>> Nobody would say that's a good idea. You
would say, "No, let's keep money out of
it and make sure that all laws that get
passed are for the benefit of the
society and the people."
>> Absolutely.
>> Not individual corporations or
individual people.
>> Yeah. Definitely not. And then you would
you go even further than that. You'd
say, "Well, let's let's make sure that
the people that are doing the job are
compensated fairly but are not allowed
to insider trade."
>> Yeah. [laughter] Isn't that
>> We're being grifted, Joe.
>> 100%.
>> We are being grifted.
>> No if ends or buts about that.
>> I was listening to this uh
story was really about Chinese politics
and I don't I don't think communism is
the answer to anything. But you don't
just it's not a the leader is not a
popularity contest. That's somebody
that's been in this business for 40
years, you know, that knows how to run a
country. It's not a just here's this
guy, we'll let this guy do it. Everybody
seems to like this guy. Uh, you know, it
is all comes from the ground up. You
know, you're and China works pretty
well, I think. You know, I I don't know.
I've never been there, but uh it makes
sense that people in those powerful jobs
should have a lot of experience
>> that but they also can't be removed and
they have total power. And if you say
anything about the government, they will
literally put you in a prison somewhere.
They'll put you in a camp somewhere.
They've removed people. They've silenced
people. They've even billionaires,
they've made them disappear. You can't
step out of line. And the cover the
government and the businesses work
handinand glove. That's it. Period.
There's no government no business that
works without the influence of the
government over there. So there's they
have giant problems too, but they
probably have better leadership in terms
of like strengthening their country, but
it's terrible for freedom.
>> What you need is like I've heard the
argument and I I don't agree with it,
but what you need is great leaders,
right? But what you need is like a
benevolent dictator. [laughter] Like
someone who really does care, someone
who really is a good person and and
genuinely doesn't want for anything or
need for anything and just wants to try
to make their mark and make the world a
better place.
>> Yeah.
>> That doesn't exist.
>> It doesn't. And why not? Why not?
>> I don't know. Because most of the people
that get the job, they that's not who
they are. Most of the people are either
wararmongers or [ __ ] hounds. They're p
power brokers. There are people who want
the feeling of being the top dog. You
know, that's those those are the people
that generally get to those positions
and those are the ones that because this
the struggle is so hard to get there and
then they're going to tear you down and
attack you and pull up things from your
past and most people don't want to go
through that. And so a lot of people
that may be good leaders never want that
position,
>> right? Because it's a [ __ ] job
>> and it doesn't even pay well.
>> Yeah. It's like it pays a half a million
dollars a year and these guys that are
which is good money for a real job but
like if you're being the president of
the United States you're around
billionaires and there's all this
influence and and then they leave the
job and then they get these speaking
gigs. So they talk at a conference of
bankers for a half million bucks. You're
like what
>> right?
>> What is this? What is this shenanigans
that you're involved in? It's the way it
is. The job doesn't pay much, but the
job pays a lot, you know, if if you work
it that way. You know,
>> they all leave rich.
Jimmy Carter was like the only one that
like kind of stayed reasonable his whole
life. He he never became a rich guy
after he left office. He basically
that's who he was.
>> He stayed the same way.
>> I think Terico might be one of those
guys.
>> Well, I would hope so. you know, um,
look, it's always good to assume the
best about people.
He said some things that I think are
questionable.
>> Yeah. But, you know, God is non-binary.
He said that one time. And then people
were like, I don't know what non-binary
means and that makes me nervous. And
>> I get what he's saying there that God is
a is not.
>> It doesn't matter if it's a man or a
woman.
>> It's God. It's an infinite loving force.
It's not as simple as
>> I get it, too.
>> I get what he's saying. And it's just
what you're saying is also like you're,
you know, I get people that want to say
they're not a man or a woman. You I feel
like you should say whatever you want to
say. But to say that that's a thing is a
different thing. Like this like if
you're a biologist and you say there's
non-binary people, like are there like
what are we saying? There's XX and XY
and there's people that are interex.
There's people that have this this weird
thing like there's women that are born
XY.
Uh, so they're a man, but they have like
some they have their testicles inside of
their bodies and they also have androgen
resistant genetics somehow or another.
So they never become like masculine
and they look really feminine, but
they're essentially XY chromosome is
weirdness. That's that's really what
like non-binary is. That's real
non-binary. That's like very strange.
That's like
>> your interex. But some people just don't
feel comfortable in their skin and they
don't want to be labeled a male or a
female. they just want to be whatever
they are, which is fine. But when you're
talking about biology, I think we have
to be able to make a distinction. We
have to know like what we're actually
talking about. You know, facts over
feelings. Feelings are fine. Like you
should be able to say what you call
yourself Carol or Bob or whatever you
want to do, man. You want to be a man
now. Okay, you're a man.
>> I'm cool with that. But let's not, you
know, let let's not let the nonsense
invade the the actual analysis of what
we're talking about. And some of what
we're talking about is just dysphoria.
It's gender dysphoria. That's what it's
always been described as, which is, you
know, there's a lot of things that
people have wrong with them. It doesn't
mean that, you know, they're bad people.
It doesn't mean that, you know, should
alienate them and they shouldn't have
rights. And that's no one's saying that.
You're saying like, "No, you can't
compete in the women's division because
you're not. You're a biological man."
And I know you wish you were a woman and
I know you want to be identified as a
woman. That's great. But when it comes
to sports,
>> right, when it comes to tennis,
>> Yeah. Stop stop the nonsense. And this
is,
>> you know, it's just there's a lot of
like weird [ __ ] that goes along with
compassion, you know, where people don't
want to look at reality because reality
itself is not compassionate. The reality
itself is like, you know, you are
discriminatory, you're transphobic,
you're this, you're that. Like, okay,
I'm not that's not what we're saying.
Like, we're saying like, you got to be
reasonable. And reasonable is you've got
to know what's the difference between a
sex offender who decides he's a woman
and wants to hang around with women
versus a guy who has gender dysphobia,
dysphoria, and wants to be recognized as
a woman. Two different things. And if I
get it wrong, forgive me, you know, if I
don't call you the right name or
whatever, I I suggest you try to grow a
pretty thick skin because people are
always going to be mean, you know. So,
just let it run down your back. I mean,
I've got thick skin, you know. Uh
>> it's a complicated conversation because
it's not one that we all thought we were
going to have 20 years ago. No, that
that was going to be at the forefront of
society discussion about gender. Like,
>> it's odd. It's very odd. I just I don't
like it being promoted for young people
because young people are getting
surgeries and taking chemical castration
drugs and doing which is essentially
what hormone blockers are. They're the
same category of drugs they use for sex
offenders when they chemically castrate
them, it's [ __ ] To do that to kids is
[ __ ] Do that to kids that don't know
what they're doing yet. They're they're
they're confused. And there's a lot of
dransitioners, man. There's a lot of
people that went through that and really
wish they didn't. And they get
ostracized from the trans community.
They get ostracized from progressive
communities. They get they get told they
were never trans to begin with. Like
what does that mean? Like what are you
what are you saying? This is not like
you're saying someone's not black or not
white. Like just traits that are just
they are what they are. You have, you
know, you have blonde hair, you have
black hair. This is like what you're
born with. To say you are not really
transgender. It's like what the [ __ ] are
you saying? You're making someone do
something to their body.
You're doing something to them through
surgery or through chemicals. Like this
is to say that you're not really one of
you're not really transgender. You just
did it. Like what?
>> I I don't know. How about recognize the
[clears throat] fact that people are
easily influenced and sometimes people
make mistakes and sometimes people get
convinced or convince themselves that
they're they should do something because
it's it's fashionable in society and
it's it's culturally relevant currently.
>> Yeah.
Yeah. You know, I'm not for any of that,
but I mean I I think try to be fair, try
to be nice and and you know, let them do
whatever the [ __ ] they want to do. But
but even uh Taler Rico is against having
any kind of surgery before 18. And uh
same as Paxin, but Paxton didn't cost
this uh Terico didn't cost this state $6
million in uh fines and lawsuits, and
that happened to Paxon. So,
>> how did he cost what did he do?
>> Paxton?
>> Yeah. What did he do that cost $6
million?
>> [snorts]
>> Well, uh, back in 2020, uh, eight of his
assistants turned him into the FBI for
fraud. One of them was a 50-year Texas
Ranger. He fired that guy. Five decades
of service in the Texas Rangers. Well,
that guy sued him and [clears throat]
uh, and they they fired four of the
eight people that that turned him in. He
did, and fired him. And then he realized
that he was going to get [ __ ] sued
over it. and uh he came up with a
solution. He was going to give them $3
million
uh to settle this case and then the
house said, "No, it's not coming from
us." And then they sued one $6 million.
And guess who paid that $6 million? You
and me. Uh paid the $6 million for his
bribery and how he ever got out of this
stuff. He was impeached by the House.
His own party impeached him. 121 votes
to 22 and then the Senate put him back
in because they didn't want to lose the
seat. And uh but he's a criminal, just a
piece of [ __ ] And uh
>> I don't know enough about him, but I do
know that they're surprised that Taler
Rico's ahead of him in the polls.
>> I'm not I think that people are sick of
what's going on right now in Texas.
They they've been in control for 30
years. What have they given us? Let
somebody else [ __ ] drive. uh you know
I they're jacking with my marijuana and
I'm ready to get them out.
>> The marijuana thing is just so stupid
cuz if you look at the national polls
it's something in the range of 70% of
the people think it should be legal,
>> right? And and we should decide, right?
We the people should decide.
>> Yeah. And if you find out that these
people who are making these decisions
have been influenced by the alcohol
lobby or by anybody else,
>> hung by the neck until dead. That's what
I'm saying. [laughter]
Let's get some severe penalties in
there.
>> It's corruption and it's bad for us and
it's also bad for the look of Texas.
Texas is supposed to be a place that's
about freedom
>> and it is in a lot of ways but in that
way it's definitely not.
>> No.
>> And it's definitely stupid. Again, we
looked at what California is making just
the tax revenue $7 billion
B with a B
>> with a B.
>> Yeah. And is there some enormous
problems that have taken place since No.
No. You know what is the the problem is
alcohol sales are down. That's the
problem. That's what got it all stirred
up. Alcohol's tanking it right now. I
mean, wine, liquor, tequila, all of it
is is 20% or more off.
>> What do you think is the cause of that?
>> Well, it's that younger generation just
doesn't feel the need to go get hammered
every night. They don't have the wallet
for it. The kids are broke.
>> You know, they got $80,000 worth of
[ __ ] school debt that your kids don't
have. and my kid doesn't have and uh you
know there's just no money for it. And
then they they go to these clubs and
they like to smoke some weed and
[laughter] and go in there and not drink
and I you know
>> also they don't like hangovers.
>> Yeah. And I'm I'm right there with them.
I mean I I think it's a better way. I
mean I can't go through this life
without some kind of buzz. I need it.
And uh [laughter] but liquor was the
wrong one for me. And I've just found
better ways. You know, there's more than
one way to skin a goddamn cat. And uh
>> I know. And the only reason why that
stuff is illegal is corruption. It's
stupid. All of it. Whether it's
marijuana or mushrooms or all these
things. You should we should understand
them, study them, and they benefit a lot
of people and they should be legal.
Period. Everybody who thinks not either
hasn't done them or doesn't know what
they're talking about or is coming from
a very authoritarian perspective where
you think the government should be
allowed to control people's behavior.
And I think that's [ __ ] ridiculous.
Yeah, I think it's [ __ ] ridiculous,
too, Joe.
>> [ __ ] ridiculous. Glad
>> we're on the right page,
>> son.
>> I said I'm glad we're on the right page.
>> Yeah, we're on the same page, man. We're
on the same page.
>> You think cameras have anything to do
with it?
>> What do you mean?
>> People recording people doing dumb [ __ ]
and not being free to be
>> Oh, that that stops people from getting
drunk.
>> Yeah, maybe.
>> Nah,
>> never stopped me.
>> I'm talking about the kids. You were
talking about kids. I was thinking,
>> you think so? [clears throat]
>> Is that what you think? I'm sort of was
asking like could be afraid to be caught
doing dumb [ __ ] and
>> well [snorts] people are very aware of
being caught and getting embarrassed
because so many people have gone viral
these days.
>> Maybe maybe it's a factor. It's
possible.
>> What did they do to Jelly Roll, man? I
poor Jelly Roll. All he did was say the
president was a fat pig like me. That's
what he said.
>> Yeah. And then he said, "If you're a
Trump supporter, don't listen to my
music."
>> Well, that was after they canceled him
anyway. And so he I I mean I'm not
really I like Jelly Roll fine. I don't
know him that well, but you know, but I
wasn't a big listener anyway. But I've
met him a couple times. Seemed like a
nice guy. My boy, they went nuts.
>> Yeah,
>> I mean nuts. Get him out of here. Never
listen to his music. What did he say?
>> I didn't see what he said. I heard about
it. Um but Jelly Roll is a sweetheart.
He's I wouldn't have advised him to say
that there. wouldn't have either. I've
always been careful with that kind of
stuff, you know,
>> that don't don't be stupid, Ron. Don't
be stupid.
>> Well, he was on the Jimmy Kimmel show,
right? So, he was doing a monologue. I
don't even know if he wrote it. You
know, it could have been the writers
from the Jimmy Kimmel show who are
obviously very anti-Trump. Like, or at
least Kimmel is very openly anti-Trump.
>> So, you know, they could have just
tricked him into doing it. [laughter]
>> Tricked him into throwing his career
right out the goddamn window. Look, he's
super talented. He'll be fine. It'll
it'll be one of those things where it's
it's a bump in the road and he'll have
to get over it.
>> I hope so. He seemed like such a nice
guy when I met him.
>> He is He's a sweetheart.
>> He'd been a Ron White fan since he was a
kid, you know, and I I got to have a
warm place in my heart for those kind of
folks.
>> Well, he's also going through a lot of
different changes in his life, right?
Like so here he loses 300 lb, which is a
giant change. Gets hooked on fitness.
This is giant change. So changes his
whole life, changes his body, did the
ways to wealth thing just like you. And
then he gets divorced. So that's another
big change. So he's got these two giant
changes and then he's on the Kimmel show
and he's saying stupid things.
>> Yeah.
>> Well, he's saying jokes. I shouldn't
even say he's saying stupid things. He's
saying
>> I'm not even saying it's stupid. I'm
just saying like if you want people to
like you like going after Trump and that
from especially from his perspective
like as a country guy like that's a
giant chunk of your crowd.
>> Absolutely.
>> But if you feel like that's what he was
doing standup, you know, uh at the club.
>> Yeah.
>> He did it a bunch of times and he was
practicing. So I think that's also one
of the reasons why he wanted to host the
Kimmel show.
>> I I think that might have been rushed a
little bit.
>> [laughter]
>> Standup's really really hard.
>> It's a long road.
>> Yeah, it is.
>> He He got laughs. He had some good
lines, but it was, you know,
>> it was what you expect from someone
who's beginning their standup journey.
>> Yeah.
>> But, uh, I think,
>> you know, if you know the guy, and I do,
he's the best. He's a sweetheart.
>> I mean, at least my experiences with him
have all been awesome and with other
people that I know. Yeah. He's a very
jolly, friendly, lovable guy. But like
all people, he is human and humans do
things that other humans don't like and
then you suffer the consequences and you
know,
>> right?
>> I think he'll be fine. He'll be fine
because he's super talented. I mean,
he's a [ __ ] brilliant singer and
brilliant songwriter. We'll see. I think
he'll be fine. I think, you know, if he
could do it all again, he I bet he
probably wouldn't. [laughter] You know,
that's part of life, you know.
>> You can't back up. No, [clears throat]
you do some things some things you wish
you hadn't. You go, "Oh shit." You know,
but talented people like look at Kanye
West. He had a [ __ ] diamond swastika
around his neck. A year later, he's
selling out giant arenas,
>> right? [laughter]
>> I can't explain I can't explain Kanye.
>> People bounce back. Well, he's super
talented. I mean, that's really the
thing. unbelievably prolific and super
talented and driven like a [ __ ]
and
>> and full-blown nuts.
>> Yep. [laughter]
>> Just like us, you know,
>> just in a different way. We're I mean,
everybody's [ __ ] crazy. That's the
thing like people are attacking Jelly
Roll. One of the things that reasons
people like to do that is they're
terrified of them ever doing something
that's stupid. And so then when someone
does do something that they think is
stupid, they just can't wait to attack.
Boy,
>> especially someone that's like on top of
the world. Jelly roll.
>> Relentless.
>> I know.
>> Every I mean, I watched Tik Tok, you
know, and I just see those feeds coming
through. Jelly roll. Boy, they're losing
their minds over it. I'm like, what?
>> Trump invented name calling. He's the
one that brought it back from the death
with Ellen DeGenerate. That was the
first one he did, I think.
>> Yeah.
>> And uh like, oh, name calling. That's
what we're back to.
>> I don't even know what the joke was. Was
he saying Trump's a fat [ __ ] just like
me? Like what was he saying?
>> That's what he said. I mean I don't I
don't I don't know what the whole bit
was, but
>> that's all it was.
>> But he he said uh Trump is a Trump's
like me. He's a fat pig.
>> That's it.
>> That's it.
>> And that's what they got mad at.
>> That's what they got mad at. He called
the president a fat pig. He's just kind
of fat.
>> Well, he's definitely not thin.
>> Yeah. [laughter]
Not from not from where I'm sitting.
>> I mean, was the joke like he could lose
weight cuz I lost weight? I mean, what
was he saying?
>> Uh, I just think he was saying
[laughter]
>> Should we play it?
>> Yeah.
>> All right, let's play it. Oh, it says
here.
>> Okay.
>> Fat pig comment. I like how
>> Jelly Roll joked that his own 300lb
weight loss meant he essentially lost an
entire Donald Trump. The fat pig
comment. He quoted past remarks Trump
made about others and said, "Well, Mr.
President, from one fat pig to another,
take it from me that physical fitness is
very important." Huh? That's not bad,
>> right?
>> That's not bad at all. From one fat pig
to another. Yeah.
>> Saying that he lost an entire Donald
Trump. Okay. He did. Yeah. Like
literally he lost 300 lb. That's more
than a Trump probably.
>> And then he said from one fat pig to
another. Take it from me that physical
fitness is very important. Is that
terrible?
>> Yeah. No,
>> that's not terrible at all.
>> And that's it.
>> So maybe the real problem was him um
>> being on Kimmel to begin with. Yeah,
>> would be a mark against him to
>> and then maybe saying if you're a Trump
supporter, don't listen to my music.
>> But that was the next day or whatever.
>> Yeah, you can play it.
>> Sadly, those are the only labs Trump's
been doing lately.
According to the Washington Post, a lot
of doctors are worried about the
president's weight. After his last
physical, we found out Trump gained 14
pounds, which means he's now tipping the
scales at almost 240.
It's crazy. Think about this, y'all. In
the last few years, I've lost 300 lb.
[cheering and applause]
[cheering]
>> [applause]
>> That means I've lost an entire Donald
Trump.
>> And let's be honest, based on his
approval ratings, it seems like most of
the country wants to do the same thing.
>> Now, listen, [applause]
we should take it easy, y'all. We
shouldn't be making fun of the president
for his weight because we know that he
would never do that to other people. I
don't speak badly about somebody's
physical disability,
but he's got the biggest stomach I have
ever seen.
>> He's actually fatter than ever.
>> The mayor is incompetent and the
governor is
a big fat slob.
Big fat [laughter] slob. Told you I have
a friend of mine. He's fat as you never
saw a guy like this. He said Chris
Christiey's a fat pig. You cannot do
that. Chris Christie is not a fat pig.
He is not a fat pig. He's not a fat pig.
Don't call him a fat pig. Sir, in the
back, don't call him a fat pig. Okay.
>> I don't talk about people being fat. I
refuse to talk about the fact that he's
a fat slob. I don't mention it.
[laughter]
>> Well, if that ain't the pot calling the
kettle fat.
[applause]
[cheering]
>> Well, Mr. president. From one fat pig to
another, take it from me that physical
fitness is very important. And trust me,
you'll be happy to see your penis again.
[applause and cheering]
>> I can speak from a little bit of
experience here, y'all. The first time I
seen mine recently, I was surprised at
how cute it was.
>> That's probably
rudimentary standup, right? Like he's
learning how to do standup. So, he's
almost like he's a politician talking.
>> I tell you, I think he did a pretty good
job.
>> Did a very good job. But I mean, you
know what I'm saying? It's like it's
monologue type standup and clearly
someone wrote it and he's reading it off
the teleprompter.
>> Yeah,
>> probably. But anyway, it wasn't, you
know, it certainly wasn't bad. I mean,
it was just jokes, you know.
>> It's It's just jokes. If someone got so
upset they never want to listen to Jelly
Rolls music again after that. Like,
>> they're crying. They're crying. They're
in tears. I see it. I see it.
>> Yeah. It wasn't the funniest stuff, but
I mean, he didn't. That's someone. They
wrote that [ __ ] for him. I guarantee
you.
>> I'm sure they did.
>> 100%. You could tell he was reading it.
It wasn't like he was just speaking off
the cuff. He was 100% reading a thing.
>> He looked good, though.
>> Looks great,
>> didn't he? He look kind of handsome.
>> He's very handsome now. He lost a lot of
weight, man. I mean, the guy uh when he
came to do the podcast, he ran six and a
half miles on the treadmill while we
were hanging out.
>> No [ __ ]
>> Oh, yeah. And talking while he's
running. So, I'm working out. I'm in
front of him working out, lifting
weights, and he's running on this
treadmill the entire time and talking
while he's running.
>> Wow.
>> Yeah, he's fit now. It's kind of crazy.
We went to see him. Um, you know, he
performed at uh, you know, Matthew
McConna has that Mac and Jack, that big
thing that they do where it's a big uh,
it's a charity benefit and auction and
he has people perform. So, he um, Jelly
Roll performed. He was a performer that
night. And then uh as he's coming off
the stage, there's this uh stairway with
a railing on it. And we're me and Tony
uh are over to the left side where you
know behind the stage. He grabs a hold
of the railing and jumps over it. And I
go, "Do you know what you just did?" I
go, "You used to be 500 lb and now you
just grabbed a railing and jumped over
it like a cat." Like that's crazy.
>> Wow.
>> It's like a different You're a different
human being.
>> That's kind of inspiring.
>> It's very inspiring.
>> Yeah. I wish he didn't say that stuff,
but I mean it's just sometimes the juice
is not worth the squeeze.
>> Yeah, you're right about that.
>> You know,
>> you got to figure out the juice in the
squeeze, baby. You got to figure it out.
>> But, you know, if you know Jelly Roll,
he's a great guy. It's just that kind of
monologue,
standup stuff. It is funny seeing all
the different times Trump called people
fat though. That is [ __ ] hilarious.
>> Yeah.
But you know, Trump supporters are
[ __ ] nuts, man. They're rabid. He
represents something other than just a
person to them.
>> Oh, it's Christ.
>> Yeah. Well, he represents something some
a leader that they wish they had, you
know?
>> Yeah.
>> Which is a real problem our society in
general with leaders. We we look to them
as if there's something different than
every other person that's ever been a
leader before. Like, this is the one.
This is the one that's going to save us,
>> right? And and you know what? Some
people are hopeless and there anybody
that says, "Well, I'll give you hope."
And then you know that what are you
going to do? You know, you got to
I I told I've said this more than once
that in back when that if you really
want to improve your lot in life and you
don't really have anything and you don't
really have an education, you should be
Bernie [ __ ] Sanders, you know, is
your guy. Uh because he wants to get the
minimum wage up. You think somebody's
going to come in and hand you a bunch of
loot? That's never going to happen.
Maybe you can make a couple more bucks
an hour. Go with that. You know, that's
not Is it Bernie Sanders? Yeah. Yeah.
>> The guy from Vermont.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So, you know, he was
really trying to help.
>> And but there like that's not enough. We
don't
>> Well, they didn't want him. The
Democratic establishment did not want
that guy. That was the first time that I
ever got attacked when I had Bernie on
and uh someone was on the podcast and
they said, "Who you gonna vote for?" I
said, "Oh, it was Jimmy Door." And I
said, "If I was going to vote for
anybody, I'd probably vote for Bernie.
Who's the one who makes the most sense?"
Like, he's the only guy that's like he's
anti-war. He wants to take a small
amount of money from uh stock market
speculation and use that to fund a bunch
of these social programs. I'm like,
let's see. This is a long time ago. I
don't necessarily think that I feel the
same way anymore about him. Um, one of
the reasons being is that he kind of
gave in to the Democratic establishment.
He let them run him over during that
whole thing with Hillary where they
rigged the primary.
>> He let he let them get away with stuff
where I think he should have put his
foot down and said, "This is [ __ ] up,
>> right? This is the way rigging the
party." They haven't had a legit primary
in like what, more than a decade.
>> That's not good. That's not good. If you
want to be the party that's the
solution, the change. Well, you have
Where's your primaries?
What are you doing? Like when they
installed Kla, they just shoved her in
there. All of a sudden, this is this is
our representative now. Biden's out. And
we were like, wait, what?
>> Right.
>> There's no primary. Like what about the
rules? What about the way we've always
done this?
>> Well, Biden was taking a nap.
He had to do something.
>> It's amazing he's still alive.
I thought he was going to die right
after he got out of office. I thought I
thought he was probably barely hanging
on, which is also the real my one of the
my big fears about him doing another
four years. Like there's no way no way
he's going to make it out of four years.
>> I don't know. It's all going to be over
soon.
>> What do you mean AI or the apocalypse?
>> The apocalypse.
>> Do you hear the JD Vance was doing a
speech I was listening to on Tim Dylan
show?
>> Yeah, I must brought this up a second
ago, so I just saw it on Twitter again.
[laughter]
>> Talk about end times. that what did it
what was his exact quote? Let's play it.
Let's play it.
>> Is it like first of all, who are you
talking to that you feel like this is
the thing to say?
>> This is talking about like whether or
not we're entering end times.
>> JD Vance was
>> Yes.
>> It's loading it for some reason.
>> He's on Tim Dylan's show.
>> No, no, no, no, no, no. He was uh just
giving the speech. Tim Dylan was making
fun of it. It's [ __ ] hilarious.
>> What's he saying?
>> Friends and their and their family. I I
I So I I tend to think like the while I
wouldn't be shocked if we are living in
the end times. What I'm trying to focus
on is doing as much of God's work as
possible right now.
>> And if that leads to the end times,
okay. And if that leads to, you know, us
building a better world that thrives and
survives for a very long time after I'm
gone, that's great, too. I I just think
you got to try to wait.
>> Here's the other part. It sounds like
he's saying if it lead that the second
hope is it leads to a great [laughter]
world.
>> Yeah.
>> But if it leads to the end times,
>> that's okay, too.
>> You know, us building a better world
that thrives. And if that leads to the
end times, okay,
>> not okay.
>> Yeah. What are you saying? If that leads
to the end times, okay,
>> not great.
>> That's not okay. And if it doesn't lead
to the end times and everybody lives a
great life, well, that's great, too.
>> That's That'd be just fine.
>> That doesn't seem like the optimum
perspective, which is even like you
should reverse those two. And the goal
is not end times. The goal is make a
beautiful world for all of us
>> where people thrive and everybody's
happy
>> and leave the end out.
>> That's the problem with religious people
that are convinced that they there's a a
set of events that are have been
predicted.
>> You think he's a religious person?
>> You think he's a fake religious person?
>> Vance.
>> Yeah.
>> JD Vance.
>> He's a Catholic.
He's very religious. He wrote a book
about um what was his book? Communion.
>> That's what that one was called. He's
pitching.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I wrote a book about
his, you know, spiritual journey.
>> Oh, I didn't. I saw the other movie.
>> Yeah. I mean, that's why it Communion,
the other one that I know. I brought
that up when he was on the podcast. I
like, you know, you wrote a book about a
guy who got abducted by aliens. That's
the same book title. That's Whitley
Striber's book, Communion.
>> Oh [ __ ]
>> There's a famous movie with um Who's in
the Who's in Communion?
>> God damn I don't think I want to say
someone but I don't think it's right.
>> 1989.
>> Uh I just knew about Hillbilly
>> Christopher Walkin. That's right.
>> I just knew about Hillbilly Elegy or
whatever the [ __ ]
>> Yeah, that was his first book and his
new one is Communion. But there was a
book called Communion by this guy
Whitley Striber who had been abducted by
aliens allegedly.
>> About the name changes.
>> What is that?
>> He's changed his name like four times.
[laughter]
>> What?
>> Yeah.
>> Wait a minute. Okay. James Donald
Bowman, his birth name, um, James David
Hamill, the name given to him after his
mother married her third husband. Oh,
well, that's understandable.
>> Yeah, but he changed it when he was in
high school, I think, for that one.
>> Uh, who? But he adopted him. He went by
JD Hamill through high school. That
makes sense. James David Vance, the name
he adopted in 2013 before graduating
from law school, changing his name to
Vance to honor his maternal
grandparents, Mama and Pawpa, who helped
raise him. Well, there's a logic behind
it at least. It's not like he's like
ducking taxes or something, right?
>> Maybe. I'm not saying that's why he did
it, but how many people do you know have
changed their name like that?
>> Not many
>> frequently. At least more than once.
>> That is odd. He did it three times.
>> Four.
>> I wonder if you're trying to reinvent
yourself. Why do you do that?
>> I don't know.
>> I don't know. I don't like the end times
talk.
>> I don't trust him.
>> I don't like that talk. That kind of
talk is crazy talk.
>> Yeah.
>> Like if it's end end times okay. No.
>> Jamie said it best.
>> Not Not good. Not
>> not okay.
>> That's not okay.
>> That's not okay.
>> No. That that spooks me out. Is that's
like I understand why people are
attracted by religion. I understand it
from like giving you a moral framework
and an ethical frame. I get that. But
when people think that they absolutely
know what the interpretations are and
absolutely know what's going to happen
and they have
>> and I'll absolutely quit listening to
them talk if they if that's what they
come at me with. I know and you don't
know. I'm like, well, my my uncle was a
Baptist preacher, so I grew up in the
church and was a really involved really
involved with every single aspect of the
Baptist church.
>> And uh I believed that my uncle was the
uh who you met uh he smelled like piss
and he was having problems, but
[laughter] he but he was my hero my
whole life cuz I thought he was the only
one that was telling me the you know the
truth. And then he ends up hitting on my
girlfriend. [laughter]
He was an animal.
>> He was He asked her to marry him.
[clears throat]
He asked Jeanie to marry him and
hilarious. She I I came home, they had
watched the show and then they came back
and I had another show to do. I came
back, nobody was in the living room. I
was at staying at the condo and and I
said, "How'd it go?" And he goes, "He
asked me to marry him." And I'm like,
"Was he was joking, right?" And I said,
"I'm in love with your nephew." And he
goes, "Did he ask you to marry him?" I'm
like, "Fuck, dude. Really?" I mean, I
never said
>> Wasn't he really old then?
>> Yeah. Well, yeah, he's 90.
>> 90. Yeah. I think he's kind of not
really all there.
>> No, no, he's not all there anymore, but
uh but but still, I I grew up in the
church and I understand the the church,
>> right?
>> And I understand what's good about it
and and uh and and yes, they were
teaching a good way of life, you know,
to to be honest and you know, all those
things that you should be and you should
follow those ten commandments anyway.
you know, they're all good except for
one of them or something. I don't know,
one of them I don't like, but I can't
remember which one it was. But
um but anyway, [clears throat]
uh I came away from the whole thing with
that. I'm like, how do I know? You know,
my family, we never talked about
politics that much. We were little town
up in the panhandle and they were all
Baptist or Church of Christ and even
they didn't agree with each other. And
the Church of Christ is kind of a Texas
religion. It came started here and Oh,
really? Yeah.
>> And uh so very small, but my grandmother
was that. And uh so, you know, she'd go
around picking up all the little ladies
and go to this little church and she
spoke in tongues every Sunday morning.
She would stand up and
and I was sitting right next to her and
embarrassed me every single time. And
then the preacher's wife would stand up
and interpret because she had the gift
of interpretation.
>> [laughter]
>> That's one of the gifts. And it was
always a fundraising thing,
>> you know, it was always the the Lord
telling you to go deep into your wallet
and
>> Oh, how convenient.
>> Yeah. Yeah.
>> Did you ever see um the fab what is the
gemstones? Fabulous gemstones. What is
this called? Righteous. Rightous
gemstones.
>> The funniest thing I've ever seen in my
life.
>> Damn, that's a good show.
>> Oh, it is so rich, man. I just can't
wait for another [ __ ] season of that.
>> That show is [ __ ] phenomenal. And
that's that that's a real I mean that's
where Kenisonson started. You know
Kenisonson was one of those revival tent
revival preachers,
>> right?
>> Yeah.
>> Yep. And I and you know what? That's
where I learned this art form was
watching my uncle preach. He was very
funny and uh always getting a laugh on
stage saving souls every [ __ ] week.
And I thought it was the greatest thing
ever. But he was a great ortor, you
know, really really good. And uh and I
know that's where I learned I want to be
that guy on st. But I just don't want to
have a religious message, you know? I
want to be able to tell some dick jokes.
And uh but that's where I got it. I
know. And that's where Chris Rock got
his, too. You know, his dad was her
uncle or something was a preacher,
right? And pretty common.
>> A really good preacher is a really good
orator. There's people that are good at
it. And there's people
>> Larry Larry the Cable Guy. His his dad
was a preacher.
>> Makes sense.
>> And a pig farmer.
>> Wow.
>> That adds up to Larry the Cable Guy. if
that makes sense. It's it's just it's a
real problem when people pretend they
have the answers because people want to
believe that they do. They really want
to believe this person knows.
>> Well, when someone tells you you have to
do this or you're going to burn in hell
forever, like
>> are you [ __ ] sure?
>> Yeah.
>> Really? [laughter] If you thought you
How do you know? Like based on what?
I have no idea. But I'm glad it's there
and I'm glad people are tied to it and
uh you know I don't want to I don't care
about I don't bust on anybody's faith
because I don't believe that. [gasps]
>> It doesn't mean that you that doesn't
mean I'm right. You know I've been wrong
about so many [ __ ] things. I might be
wrong about all of it. But
>> the problem was when someone believes
something but then wants to force other
people to believe it too. And that's uh
that's an age-old problem with human
beings.
>> That's a real issue.
All right, Ron, let's get the [ __ ] out
of here. We got a show to do tonight.
Let's go.
>> Let's go do it, man. Uh I'll be there at
uh 7 o'clock or whatever.
>> Yes, sir.
>> And uh and then I and then I'm closing u
Thursday night. Both shows to get ready
for these shows in Florida.
>> Nice.
>> Can you look up my dates in Florida real
quick so I see which one's
>> He's already got it. tateralad.com.
>> Yeah, there we go.
>> Dayton Beach. Uh Jacksonville on the
11th. Dayton Beach on the 12th, Sarasota
on the 13th. All throughout Texas.
>> Yeah. Grand Prairie. That's the
anniversary date right there.
>> September 18th.
>> Yeah.
>> 40 years. That's going to be fun.
>> It's going to be a lot of fun.
>> Tat Salad.com. Cosmopolitan. How's that
Cosmopol? I heard the Cosmopolitan base
in Vegas is very nice.
>> [ __ ] yeah. Great. 2,300 seater.
>> So, 1,000 seats bigger than the the one
I played at the Mirage.
>> Nice. And uh I stay in the uh mansion
over at the MGM Grand. That's pretty
sweet living over there.
>> Look at you playing golf.
>> Playing at go.
>> Let's wrap this [ __ ] up. All right.
Bye. Appreciate you, brother.
>> Hey. Love you, man. Thanks [music] for
having me on.
>> Anytime. Bye, brother.
[music]